151 [text] [backdated to very late last night]

[young_idealist]

It has become obvious that I owe several people, including Dr. Lewis, apologies or more. However, at the moment, I cannot offer more than that. At the moment, I cannot think clearly.

I will say more when I return.

[warden filter]

There is something I have to find out at home. Tis very urgent, or I would try to find a way to make it wait. Dracula has

Comments

Warden Filter and Friends Filter

[young_idealist]

I've returned. Thank you for looking after things. My departure wasn't timed the best.

private

[young_idealist]

Did you see my inmate? I haven't told him that I am back yet.

It went much better than I feared. I will try to give more details soon. I was very worried about my reception back home.

private (gah, I hate having 2 active Armand accounts at the moment)

[young_idealist]

Did you see him while I was gone?

That is my hope, but I did leave my professional life here in a perfect mess. I am not at all decided how yet to start trying to mend it.

private

[young_idealist]

He shouldn't, but then again, I'm not positive that's what's been happening.

I don't quite know what to do for him. I should stop shielding him, but I don't know what else to do, because if he does snap, it will be on my head as much as his. And yet, I'd rather see that--to see how far he would actually try to take it--than this horrible tension. But I don't truly want to see anyone hurt. It all makes my head hurt.

At least he sometimes seems to like the garden. Perhaps I should encourage him to take one of the other jobs on board, away from me and well, you. You're good for him, but he should meet other people under controlled circumstances.

Oh, listen to me ramble. I've had plenty to do these last several weeks at home than worry about Vlad Dracula, but I have thought about this and him some.

private

[young_idealist]

What exactly did you want to bring before the wardens? I think I have a right to know. Tis likely something I've considered.

I wish he could realize that people need to be judged as individuals, and if many people are awful to him here, that it is their particular fault, not everyone's. But it sounds so hypocritical when he feels, and I can still see it somewhat, that he is bearing the burden of all vampires.

He was a warlord before becoming a vampire, and a horrific dictator afterwards, imposing his will upon everyone around him. He has done terrible things, but they are so awful I can't see how he can work past them without changing who he is at heart. And he fears that. He says he has no feelings at all, but I know as well as you do that he can feel rage.

private

[young_idealist]

I should think it was for their own crimes, and his are extensive.

I cannot ask others to change their behavior any longer, or at least not for some time. I've run out of credit on that point. I don't think anyone realizes that as nasty tempered and vocally vitriolic Dracula has been, it is a measure of his strength of will that he hasn't attacked anyone yet. Or perhaps they do, and don't care.

The Spike that was here before was almost a friend to me. This one is like a nasty doppelganger. I don't like him.

He must change something. I don't know what or how much. He cannot give up being a vampire at will.

private

[young_idealist]

He will break, and I'm afraid for it.

Re: private

[young_idealist]

I don't mind him having someone else to go to, but right now he's decided I've sided with the torch-bearing peasants. So be there for him, but don't offer or promise him any privileges. I want to take him hunting.