happy easter, the ressurection all that bullshit....
finally back in the world that really sucks but others call it reality,between reality from christians and everyone else....whatever thats a subject i could go on about forever but id rather not right now not in the mood. I have big deals to deal with right now legally and dept free break the chains to what makes me worry so much constantly i cant do it anymore...i was katie the one everyone could go to and talk about tall their problems andi just couldnt express myself in that way i think thats why i had such a blow up when in fights over little things how can rate a feeling a felling you cant even explain...and back in august is when all this shit started is when people started looking at me differently, i was now in the "system" and that was what they were looking at not me and not all my love ones i know who was truelly there for me but i can also see why it could be intimated cause you couldnt fix it whatever who said i expected thst alls i needed was love and support and i got doctors,therapists everything breathing down my throat so that and all my already how i felt i had to focus on that and my friends and my anxiety grew worse and worse i have blood pressure problems and diabeties breaathing trouble and back injury from the car aciedent i have been in a situation so far from what i was used to and i was scared i am ready to face all the problems and move my ass what do you get from worrying...not to say i will stop but i have to give my self a goal and that is grt healthy i am gonna get a ymca membership to work out swim and i am gonna prove to myself i can do it self rewarding selfishness its time for me, it will take awhile but i have lost 30 pounds in the last three months and i know i can do it controlling meal wise but i dont really ever eat...but i need to exercise and get muscle...i think it will be fun...cause i am doing it to me and the only one to achieve this is me...so ill see where it goes but i do have the confidence to do this.....fuck people that dont understand and to all you that do thank you for the support...sara is gonna get one too it woll be so fun we can go there exercise swim go and journal on our breaks and just like get eachother motivated although i have way more to work on then sara oh well, umm thats all for me