[Chapter] You can't fix what has been broken (6/22)
Title: You can't fix what has been broken
Author: youaregonecas
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Castiel/Dean + Jess/Sam [Mentioned]
Disclaimer: There will be mentions of depression, minor character death that is written out.
Summary: Castiel Novak has just lost his mother, his father is an absent douche bag and his sister may well be the only one that copes with all of it just fine. When the Winchesters come into town, it doesn't mean anything good, but he doesn't know it yet. He's completely blind to the world of monsters. When his mother rings the bell at five am one morning, Cas has the worst scare he has had in years. Somebody made a contract at the crossroads, and he isn't the one with a countdown.
After about another hour of driving, they reached the motel where his father had probably stayed. Dean had wanted to go directly to the coordinates of his father's cell, but Cas had said that he wanted to know what they were facing first, before storming off into danger head first.
In the motel though, they barely found anything. Some paper clippings, some info that John had put up, but nothing else. That too seemed to worry Dean. Cas didn't know why that had to worry him, he wasn't exactly accustomed to the usual happenings of hunting, but knew that things were not good if John hadn't been prepared for whatever it was.
"We gotta go," Dean said, "fast." He was holding an old journal that seemed deadbeat. "Dad wouldn't leave all of his stuff here and his door unlocked if he didn't plan on coming back." Cas nodded absentmindedly, before following Dean to the Impala.
It was getting this weird habit, driving shotgun in a car without seatbelts. He didn't even reach out for them anymore, didn't even mind anymore. Without them, he could relax and be comfortable without being restricted.
Something about the fact that he didn't have any protection from a crash made him feel a little anxious though. As if he wasn't safe. For the third or maybe fourth time since they had left on their little road trip, the scars along his arms and chest began to itch. He didn't even remember how he had gotten the scars, he only knew that it had been ages ago and nobody remembered what had happened to him.
Cas was awful with not scratching the scars. Time upon time they had itched and time after time he had scratched the skin open and gotten them infected. His mother wasn't all too happy with it, but it was something that he did without even noticing it. It was almost like breathing.
"You okay?" Dean asked him, looking at him in a way that Cas couldn't figure out. Worry? "You're kinda, bleeding? I think you scratched something open with all that scratching you've been doing." He looked up in surprise upon hearing this, seeing the spots of blood well up from the scar at his collar bone.
"Damn," he sighed, before wiping the blood away. "Thanks for pointing it out. I don't notice it when I start scratching the scars." He shook his head.
"Don't worry," Dean said, smiling. "What are the scars from anyway?"
"No idea," he said, toying with the drops of blood on his finger tops, "something happened when I was a kid or a baby or something. It's been a long time and everybody just forgot I guess." He saw Dean pull up his eyebrows in a frown. "I'm thinking that it was something that happened when my mom was hunting with me, you know. I think that she took me with one or two times. But that is just my guessing. She doesn't like to talk about her hunter days with us. I think that she misses it."
Dean didn't know what to think about Cas sometimes. It was almost as if there was a completely different side to him that never showed up unless he was drunk and well, when he was in this mood.
Usually, he was not exactly open with his feelings, he was like this nut that he had to crack. A hard outer layer with a treasure inside. What was needed to crack it apparently was either sleep regression or alcohol. He had woken up three or four times the previous nights and each of those times, Cas had been up. He either had been pacing or staring up at the ceiling. He wondered about the boy, what was really going on with him. Clearly, there was something there that he was struggling with and it wasn't just the fact of his mother.
"You know," Dean said, bringing his eyes back from the scars to the road before he hit something, "if there is something the matter, you can talk to me, right?" He saw Cas nod from the corner of his eyes.
"Yeah, thanks man," he said, "I'm just tired I guess."
"When we get dad out, you go ahead and sleep in," he said, before driving onto the parking lot of the abandoned office building. Something was off about the place, almost as if it was too calm. There were no guards walking around as demons sometimes did, there was no, well, nothing.
Cas was the first one to hear the cry in the background. It was a mix of both pain and anger, blood red anger. He was glad that Dean had missed it because it was a fair chance that it had been his father to yell, not some other random demon. Before he even got a chance to stretch his legs, Dean handed him some sort of necklace and told him to put it on.
"It'll prevent you from being possessed," he explained. "You may be able to help me, but I don't want to risk you being possessed. Your mom would be beyond pissed about that."
"What about you?"
"I've got mine tattooed, so I am safe," he said, pulling his shirt away from his collar bone to show the tattoo. "Dad asked us if we wanted one so that we would be safe a little while ago. Sammy hasn't gotten his yet, luckily." He shook his head. "Let's go."
The first three floors were abandoned. Cas' pulse was quicker than that of a bird by the time that they came to a fourth floor and heard muttering in the background, faint but present.
"Dad," Dean whispered when they heard a scream echo through the empty walls. It was almost heartbreaking to see how Dean's face sunk completely when he heard his father's shouts, to see how he almost raced forward to get that bastard who decided to keep his father in check.
"No Dean," he whispered, hurrying after him, barely able to stop him from storming in the room. "You want to jump in there? Really? Think about it. Get a game plan before you race in." He shook his head slightly. "What do you want to do, race in and just leave me in the doorway? I have nothing to protect me if that demon decides to jump me." Cas didn't want to turn the attention to him, but if there was a way to stop Dean from rushing in head first, it was needed.
"So you want a weapon huh? Knock yourself out," he said, pulling a knife from his wristband. It was all in a hushed whisper. If they alarmed the demon of their presence now, they would be doomed. "Don't cut yourself." Cas rolled his eyes, but put the knife safely in his pocket, for as far as that was possible. The knife would cut through butter without applying pressure to it, he didn't even want to know what it would do to human flesh. "As for a 'game plan'; I go in and see if I can take on the demon, you linger in the doorway, but keep your eyes open. Don't do anything rash, don't go playing the hero. Help me, but don't be in our way. Dad will not be pleased if you do that."
"Okay." He was getting nervous now, now that they were about to face the demon that was holding John captive. He wasn't exactly sure why he had insisted on coming with, which idiotic idea was good enough for him to go in an idiotic thing like this.
Cas lingered in the door as Dean scanned the room where he could see his father quickly before running over to him. He knew hat he ought to go in, but he wasn't sure what his role here was. Not the slightest actually.
"Dad," he heard him say, before running over to the chair where his father was tied up. John's head slumped against his chest, unmoving. "Dad, dad!" Dean looked up at Cas, both fear and pain in his eyes. Cas could barely stand it, watching him suffer. "Help me, please Cas."
He didn't know how fast he knelt next to the chair, cutting through the ropes that held John in three clean cuts. He tried to hide that he felt kind of proud for actually being well, necessary for once and actually being able to help. They balanced the weight of John on the both of their shoulders, wanting to get away with him as soon as possible. The demon could get back any second and if they wanted to get John out of this place alive, they had to move.
That was when Cas was suddenly flicked against the wall, alongside John and Dean. At first, he could barely believe his eyes. The demon was nothing but a little girl, or at least, was using this harmless twelve year old as a vessel. That vessel, it could be Sam or Claire without trouble, he could imagine it without trouble.
"Look what the cat dragged in," she said in a high pitched sing song voice. "More meat. You have a good timing too, I was getting tired of this play toy over here." He could see from the corner of his eyes how both of the boys seemed to be having so much more trouble than he was.
"I see the resemblance there, but you." There was a sly smile on the girl's lips. "I'm trying to figure you out. Now, you see, the other boy I get. Family, blood and all that crap. He's off to save daddy from that scary little demon. You, you are my little puzzle." She smiled a smile that was worthy of the name demon. "I love to play with my food before I kill it, it is so much more, well, entertaining that way, satisfying.
"Why would go off with a hunter when you are still innocent?" the demon continued. "You smell like innocence. Innocence and what else? Let's see. Sleep deprivation is most likely there, how delicious. Is that, alcohol, yest it is. Worry too now huh?" The demon pointed her little finger at him, snapped her finger and let him fall to the floor. Almost out of instinct, he looked at Dean and John, both still stuck to the wall. He could see how much more they were struggling with all of this, how Dean gasped for air like a fish on land. The thing that struck him the most? The panic and hurt in his eyes. It made Castiel want to pull him off the wall and hang there in his place. "Maybe, no, no, that's not it."
"Dean," he snapped at her, cutting her short, "John. You let them go. Now." He sounded braver than he was, even though he wasn't afraid of her. What had caused that bravery, he didn't know. Maybe it was the fact that he had see enough of Dean to know that he was in trouble, big time. He had seen how his lips had started to turn blue.
"Now why would I?" The demon giggled, before sighing. "Why do you worry so much about those two big boys. They can take care of themselves, don't you think."
"You let them go." The words hadn't completely left his lips or he was flung against the opposite wall, crashing head first into the metal cabinets against them. It almost felt as if his head was close to exploding, a pain brushing the walls of his skull. He swore that it almost felt like there was a hand with swords scraping around inside of him. He tasted blood in his mouth, trickling in from his nose. It tasted awful, metallic.
"I mean it," he snapped at her, "you let them go or I will make sure that you will suffer before you go back to wherever you come from." He spat a mouth full of blood at the girl.
"But why?" she sang again. "If I don't let them go, I can tell you how to break that deal that your sister made with the devil." When she saw his stunned face, she laughed again. "Yeah, me and your mom were hell mates, I knew about the deal she made to safe your sorry little ass. Why do you think that you are not plastered against that wall?" Castiel's blood froze in his veins. Could she actually he actually help him? But to what cost? What would he have to do to get that information? Give up Dean and John?
He must have stood there without moving forever before he made his final decision. Eventually, one look at the blacked out paced out Dean was enough for him to pick. None that would please either Dean, nor the demon. Dean had allowed him to come with, he had been kind to him. There was no way that he could betray his trust by giving him up like this.
"No." His words sounded strange and foreign from his own lips. "I won't." Darkness was tugging on his vision as his mouth filled with blood again. He wasn't even sure if it was from his nose, the cut on his head or somewhere else too. He could feel the trickle of blood everywhere.
"Excuse me?"
"No. You can't have hi - them." He shook his head viciously. "Whatever deal you are proposing, count it a no." I will not betray Dean for this, he added in his thoughts. "You mention my sister again, and I will make sure that you go to hell screaming."
"You're fond of the Winchester boy," she mused, before snapping her fingers. Cas could hear a heavy thud and one person gasping for air desperately. When he turned his head though, he felt almost disappointed as he saw John Winchester sitting up, confused, looking at his son with sadness in his eyes. "I can see that."
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus," started doubtfully, not sure if he still remembered everything correctly, "omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, draco maledicte. Ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos." His words grew more fierce and more fierce as he spoke, eyes on Dean and his unconcious body the whole time that he spoke. Somewhere around secta diabolica, John chimed in. They finished the exorsism together and watched as the demon disappeared, shot straight back to hell, where it belonged.
He sat next to Dean, muttering to himself please breathe, please breath as he too felt the stinging pain in his head. Right when Dean opened his eyes, shocked at what he saw in front of him, Cas lost consciousness.