[Fic] Stay - Sabriel
Title: Stay
Author: youaregonecas
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sam Winchester/Gabriel
Summary: Gabriel is human, he has fallen en Sam is the only one there to catch him.
[Stay]
If you believe that everything's alright
You won't be all alone tonight
And I'd be blessed by the light of your company,
Slowly lifting me to somewhere new
Stay - Mayday Parade
Sam still wasn't used to having Gabriel in the bunker with them. Cas was there on a regular basis, but he was Cas. Cas was family. The guy had been around them more often than anybody the last couple of years and Sam was grateful for that. Especially since Dean didn't seem to be able to live without the guy. But Gabe, he was different.
Gabriel had fallen with the other angels. His grace was fading away in him and at first, they hadn't even noticed it that much. Okay, Gabe started having more troubles healing, but they had thought that it was just that, nothing else. Oh how wrong they had been.
It was when his ability to heal faded completely that they realized how bad things really were. When Sam had to endure a nagging Gabe all week while Dean and Gabriel went out on a hunt together to get rid of witches that had started a coven in Arizona and were slowly killing off people in their town. That week he too learned that Gabe wasn't a fan of bandages and was incredibly twitchy when having them changed.
Gabriel sneaked up on him one night while he was going through the library, picking up several volumes and putting some back that held no relevance to the hunt Cas and Dean were on. The books tumbled to the floor, some hitting his feet. He bit back a cuss as he looked at the sheer innocence on the former arch-angel's face and the blood dripping down his arm.
“I was hungry,” he said sheepishly, “and there were tomatoes in the fridge.”
“Come on,” Sam sighed, leaving the books on the floor to get Gabe bandaged up. “Dean is going to think I try to kill you if you keep getting bruised up when they are away.” It was difficult, seeing Gabe this defeated. He didn't know when he had started caring for the angel, but figured that well, it was nothing but normal. Gabe had patched him him so many times when he still had all of his grace.
Luckily for Gabe, the cut wasn't too deep. “Sorry Sam.”
“No need to be sorry,” Sam sighed, “It's okay Gabe, seriously.” When he had started using the nickname, he didn't know either. Dean had given him a funny look when he heard it the first time, but that was nothing but Dean being Dean and being well, a pathetic annoying brother. “Everybody gets cuts. You're taking your meds, right?” The angel had developed a wicked cold a few days before Dean and Castiel left. It was one of the only reasons that Sam had stayed behind, to look after him. Not that there was a lot of Gabe to look after. All he did was read and be bored and complain about how much better it was being an angel and well, miss his grace. Of course, Gabe had his moments, like now, that he did something stupid and Sam almost felt like his father instead of a friend.
“Yeah,” he said, “I'm almost better, I guess? At least I don't feel like I'm dying anymore.” And that slight smirk was back on the angel's lips, even if it was for a brief second. When Sam had started noticing the angel's lips, he didn't know either. It had just started one night, while he had watched Gabe sleep - in his bed instead of his own - debating whether he should wake him up or just sleep in Gabe''s bed in return. He had started noticing how relaxed he was, snuggled up on top of the blankets.
“Let's hope you never get a fever,” Sam laughed, finishing the bandage. “You're good to go. Try to be a little more careful next time, okay?”
“Sure Sam.”
Sam didn't know how it happened, but they ended up cooking dinner together. Gabriel had already diced up a tomato, so they made tomato and bacon scrambled eggs. It's wasn't too hard to make anyway and probably all that Sam wanted to risk exposing Gabriel to. He didn't want to have to drive him to the hospital because he burned his hand on the skillet.
They ate in silence, Sam lost in though and Gabe pondering, absently stroking his bandages. They weren't exactly stopping the bleeding completely, but enough for now. He wouldn't need stitches, the wound was too shallow for that. All it needed was a little bit of time. Time that Gabriel didn't seem to have.
“Stop it,” Sam sighed, stopping Gabe's hand. “You're getting on my nerves.” And God, if Gabe could look more like a kicked puppy in that moment, it should be illegal. “Sorry, but it'll heal, you just have to give it some actual time to heal, not a few minutes.”
“It stings.”
“Of course it stings, it's supposed to sting.” Sam really tried not to get annoyed with Gabe, after all he wasn't used to pain, but sometimes, he was such a baby. “I got something that”ll make it better.” Sam knew that he shouldn't give an archangel whiskey, they probably didn't react to it well, but well, fuck it. He could use a glass himself.
“Are you trying to get me drunk Sammy?” Gabriel smirked, the patented archangel way.
“Come on.”
They settled in front of the fireplace, each their glass of whiskey close to them. Gabriel seemed to be amused about something that Sam had no idea about, but it was better than complaining. The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, even though it would have been a little while ago.
“Do you miss it?” he asked, curious. “Your grace?” He remembered the way that Castiel had been after first losing his grace, how defeated and oddly human he had been. Gabriel still had the air of an archangel, he was still fierce in those moments that he wasn't blatantly human. Like when he cut his arm.
“Of course Sammy,” Gabriel said, before drowning what was left in his glass and passing it to Sam for a refill. “I used to be so much better than this.” He thought about his words for a second, before pulling his legs up and staring in the fire. “I was there when God created humans, I saw them kill and slaughter each other, I saw the hate in their eyes. And now, I'm not better.” He sighed. “I'm not used to feeling Sam. I don't need it and I certainly don't want it.” He wanted to say something, comfort Gabe in a way that he hadn't felt in years, not since Jess. “But I have to, don't I? You know, I used to pity you, you humans, because I could sometimes see you break down.” Gabe sighed. “I saw you break down inside, when you had the visions of Lucifer.”
“Gabe,” Sam said softly, worried for the angel. “It's all gone now, I am fine.” And if that wasn't the biggest lie he had told in his life.
“I just never thought I'd get it,” Gabe said. “Never thought about how much you guys actually hurt. And now, when I see you Sam.” A labored breath sounded. “Oh God, I see that pain.”
And Sam was hugging him, lips pressed to the top of his head. “It's okay Gabe. It's okay.” He repeated the words over and over, until it was all that he could say. “It's okay.” Gabe's head was hidden in his chest and god, that felt good, good in a way that Sam didn't even dare think about.
Sam put Gabriel to bed three glasses of whiskey later. He should have known that it had been a bad idea to pull out the bottle, but hey, he had needed it too. He watched Gabriel sleep for a little while, sitting on the bed next to him. He had fallen sleep before his body even hit the mattress and whether that had been from the alcohol or exhaustion, he didn't know.
Sam waited for Gabe to be safe and sound asleep before getting up and crawl in his own bed. He needed sleep, needed to sleep it all off before Dean and Castiel would come back the day after. When he tried to do so though, Gabriel's hand shot out and caught his arm.
“Stay.”
Sam woke up the next morning with Gabriel curled up against him, arm around his waist. His hair tickled his neck, but Sam didn't even pretend to mind. He liked this, waking up with Gabe so close. Gabe on the other hand would probably regret this. He had been drunk last night when he asked him to lie next to him.
“I love you, Gabriel,” he whispered to himself in the dark room. Gabriel wasn't awake anyway. Or at least, that was what Sam though. He stirred in his arms and Sam swore that he could feel him smile against him.
“I love you too, Sam Winchester.”