[Chapter] You can't fix what has been broken (4/23)
Title: You can’t fix what has been broken
Author: youaregonecas
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Castiel/Dean + Jess/Sam [Mentioned]
Disclaimer: There will be mentions of depression, minor character death that is written out.
Summary: Castiel Novak has just lost his mother, his father is an absent douche bag and his sister may well be the only one that copes with all of it just fine. When the Winchesters come into town, it doesn't mean anything good, but he doesn't know it yet. He's completely blind to the world of monsters. When his mother rings the bell at five am one morning, Cas has the worst scare he has had in years. Somebody made a contract at the crossroads, and he isn't the one with a countdown.
This chapter on AO3.
His father’s ‘we need to talk’, talk, had been short and worthless, about how he couldn’t do that again, and if he did, that there would be consequences. He didn’t really care enough about it. Castiel tried to act normal for a few days, days in which he had pretty much just hung out with his sister as much as he could and done his research too. He didn't know where to start and that was the hardest part of it all, but he had managed to find one or two things on demon deals, even if it had been after clicking through a dozen worthless ones.
Every now and then, when they needed to talk or when they just wanted to hang out, he and Dean would go to the roadhouse. It was the only place in town where they actually wanted to serve them beer and where they could talk about hunting. Neither Dean nor Castiel wanted to end up in a mental institution because they were talking about hunting.
After almost two weeks of the both of them looking out for any ideas, both of them were stuck. Castiel was slowly giving up his hopes on ever finding a cure for his sister. It was Dean who kept calling ‘round and kept digging deeper. Cas really appreciated it, but he didn’t know what to think anymore.
That night, he called to see if Dean would be up to get a beer with him. Just a casual beer without work stuff. He just needed a breather, have some kind of relief for a little while, away from all the negativity that had surrounded his life the past couple of days. Even though he didn’t have to go to school for about two weeks - thank God for that - he worked harder than ever, and not on what he wanted to work on.
His mother had forced him to do chores around the house, and all of that because he had come home drunk one time, about which he didn’t even know the details. All he did know about that night was that he had had more alcohol than ever in his life and that he could barely walk straight.
That was what he planned to ask Dean about too. What he had done that night to get everybody that upset with him. Had he insulted somebody or what? Why would nobody tell him anything about it?
It was more than just frustrating not to know a single thing about that night. All he remembered was walking out and waking up in his bed, nothing between the two. He just hoped, for his own sake, that he hadn't done anything stupid.
Dean met him in front of his house at eight o'clock. Normally, the two of them would have met at the roadhouse, but since he was sure that his car would not make it there safely, he drove them. That, and he had to drop off Sammy. Sam and Claire had become friends in the time that they were put together while the 'grown-ups' talked business. They had been forced to do that often enough, since their father was off to somewhere and was already not answering his calls, again. It had become to much of a habit to Dean to know that his father usually called him back eventualy.
Usually, he didn't exactly mind that he had to look after the kid. He pretty much looked after himself now that he was older and knew why both Dean and his father didn't spend nearly as much time with him as they did working, but he felt kinda guilty for not spending any time with him the past few days. Sammy was still his baby brother and he had promised that he would take care of him.
"Thanks for letting Sammy stay over," Dean said to Cas as they pulled off the driveway. Cas shrugged, staring out the window as the houses rolled by. He noticed how Cas seemed to be getting more tense and worried as each day passed by. He could see how much paler the boy was getting and how he would startle at the lightest touch.
"He and Claire get by fine, mom will probably give them food until they pass out anyway." For some reason, Cas seemed to be extra moody today. "Don't worry about that. You won't even be able to get him back home when we get back anyway."
"Your mom doesn't like me that much, does she?" He couldn't help but notice how hostile that she was acting towards him. She was a sweetheart to Sam, but to Dean? No way that that was kind.
"You are everything that can take me off the right path," he shrugged. "You know. Hunter, boy, alcohol, exactly. She sees stereotypes."
"Don't you usually hang out with guys?"
"I don't really, no." He saw him shake his head. "I'm not exactly mister popular at school anymore since mom happened and well, I never take anybody home, you are the exception to that, I guess." Dean saw how Cas's cheeks flared a bright red. It was about the most human reaction to something that he had shown in days. "I mean, she never meets any of my friends. Now that she meets one, it's a hunter, you go figure."
"Yeah, I guess."
Both of the boys stayed silent until they pulled up to the Roadhouse. Castiel was bone deep in thoughts and Dean agreed to leave him be for a little while. He seemed to need it.
Ellen had started to give them alcohol without them even having to beg for them, or at least without Cas having to persuade her. He walked over to their usual booth while Dean picked the beers up.
"You'll look out for him, right?" she asked Dean before giving him the beers. "I've had an angry call from his mother last time, telling me that I can't serve him beer anymore. Make sure that I don't have to follow up on her orders."
"All right ma'am," he nodded, before heading back to their booth. He hadn't been that drunk last time though? Maybe two or three beers, but he had not seemed to be drunk at all. Maybe it was just his imagination, or his mother's.
"You'll have to be careful about coming home drunk, dude," he said, before sitting down opposite Cas. "Ellen can't serve you any more beers. She still does, but you don't want your mom to pay her a visit."
"I guess," he sighed, staring at him almost confused.
"How loaded were you exactly last time?"
"You really want to know that answer?" he asked Dean, eyebrows perched up. "I'd just spend a complete day with my sister while going through every book that my mother possesses about deals, demons, everything. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hide crap like that from a mother who doesn't even seem to care?" Cas shook his head violently, taking a swig of the beer. "Okay, I was a little drunk. It wasn't even that bad. Mom is just being overly protective. I'm not twelve anymore.”
"I have absolutely no idea how you’re still alive. But, as soon as I get a hold of my father again, I'll ask him to pull some more strings. Maybe I'll try Bobby. We'll see." He hadn't asked his father about it yet and he really didn't like lying to Cas about it, but he had no other option. "Lemme call him. Just a sec."
Castiel watched Dean as he slid out the booth and sneaked over to a calmer corner. He liked watching him act when Dean thought that Cas wasn't looking. He always acted different when he was alone, though he couldn't put a finger as to why. These past days had been though on him, and Castiel couldn't pin point exactly what had made him want to drink more.
He watched Dean absent-mindedly, eyes not exactly focussing on anything, mind on the beer in his hands and the relaxation that it provided. His eyes had darted to Dean's face, taking in the expression on it. Usually, Dean seemed to be on edge as he called with his father, eyebrows pulled together in a frown. His expression shifted to that of worry. Castiel could visibly see the colour drain out of his face.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Dean said, shaking his head. He emptied the almost full bottle of beer in three big sips, "it's fine, something came up. Do you mind finishing your beer? I'll drop you off at home before I leave. I'll have to find Sammy a place to stay."
To Cas, it was clear that something wasn't right at all, yet, he didn't want to push his luck by asking him what was wrong. He knew that Dean wouldn't explode if he asked, but there always was a chance that it would trigger something. Cas wasn't going to take a chance at that.
"If you want, he can crash at our place?" Castiel suggested. "Until you get back? It'd be good for Claire to have some people her own age to hang out with. She thinks I'm a dork anyway."
"That'd do it. Thanks, I guess. Sam is going to freak out when I tell him that he has to stay home, but I can't take the kid."
"Want to tell me what is wrong?" he asked, trying his luck. "Maybe I can help?" He always felt braver when he had had a beer, and that wasn't exactly the fact that he was drunk. No, he was nowhere near drunk. He'd need a few more beers for that.
"Dad's in trouble. He was hunting some demon. I just got a voice mail, saying that he was in serious trouble. I could hear the demon in the background, so I'm going in," he said, slamming his car door shut.
"By yourself? Dean, I am no hunter, but even I know that this is bound to end bad. What if that demon gets you too? Your father has been doing this for way longer than you have, how do you think that you can go there on your own and just magically win?" Cas shook his head to hide his almost anger. He didn't want to be angry with Dean, but this was a suicide mission. He knew that Dean was reckless, but this was another dimension of reckless. "Tell me if I am mistaken, but this sounds like a suicide mission." ‘I will not have you go on a suicide mission and see you killed’ he wanted to add, but bit back. He wasn't that drunk. Not yet.
"Then what do you suggest, Cas? Do you see any hunters around here?" He snapped back at him, clearly getting angry. "I swear, if you say that I should take your mother with me, I am going to punch you so hard that you wake up in your bed three days from now with a concussion." Dean rested his head in his hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. I just have no other option, okay?"
"I can come." Castiel's voice wavered slightly, an almost afraid expression in his eyes. He knew that Dean could hear the doubt in his voice, it had been too soft, the words spoken too silently. “I'm not saying that I'll be as good as a trained hunter, far from, but, I can do something.” Dean shook his head. “I want to help you, Dean.”
"No." Dean shook his head. "Who just told me that this was a suicide mission? Taking you, well, that is the suicide mission."
"Do you have any other options? Because there is no way that I am leaving this car if you are just going to leave on your own." Cas turned around to face Dean stubbornly, staring at him. Why he had decided to do it, he didn't know, but he did know that it pissed Dean off big time. "You take me with you, or you are not going, period. Only if you have a better alternative, a trained hunter that you can take with that is able to leave tonight, I am leaving you be."
"You are going to be the end of me," he cussed under his breath, before sparking the ignition. "You know this will only piss your mother off more, right? Do you really need that?"
"No," he said, "but I can't leave you alone to go. By the way, I know my way around the basics, I have shot a gun before. I know how to throw a punch. It's not like you will have to drop me off at the nearest hospital when you are done Dean. I don't fall and break." I hope he added in thought.
"Make sure that I don't regret this," Dean said, before pulling up at the house. "You go pack a duffel bag, I'll persuade your mother that you have to join."
Castiel was awfully unsure about what he should bring. He had thrown in the basics, like underwear, jeans, shirts, button ups and a pair of shoes, but wasn't sure if that was all that he needed. Did he need to bring shampoo and all of that stuff? They would probably end up at a motel to spend the night anyway, and they would have towels and stuff, wouldn't they?
From his tiny collection of weapons in his room, he took his gun and a pocket knife. The knifes were a perk of being a hunter's kid. Even though his mother had been out of the business for a while now, she still wanted her kids to be safe. For her, the equivalent of safe wasn't to get a babysitter or somebody else to watch him and his sister, but to give them weapons and to know how to act around them.
He walked down the stairs one at a time, wanting to put off his mother's fury as long as he could. She used to be able to kill demons, spirits, he didn't want to know what she'd do to her kid or well, what she was able to do to anything, period.
“I am willing to take care of Sam while you are gone,” he heard his mother say, “people have looked out for Castiel too while I was younger. I get that it is hard sometimes, but I cannot allow you to take my son hunting with you. Look Dean, I get it, your father is important to you and if John is in trouble I am sure that something bad has happened, he is a good hunter after all, but from my point of view, you are just pulling my son straight into the hunter world. I cannot allow you to do that.”
Her words infuriated Cas. As if it was Dean's fault that he wanted to go along with Dean to find his father.
"You shouldn't have died then," Cas snapped at her, "that way Claire wouldn't have had to make a deal and we wouldn't be tracking down ways to get her out of that deal. Mom, like it or not, I am already in the hunter life. You pretty much raised me into knowing about all of it and how to kill them." He turned to his mother, bag thrown over his shoulder. "We're off. Come on, Dean."
He turned around and walked out the door without looking back.