Last day
Today I wrote two exams and finished two final projects, and now my B.Ed. is over. I have four months of practicum in the new year, but all the classes and exams and essays are done forever. Most of my classmates are thrilled and their facebook statuses all say “whooo hooo!” but I am feeling a little less ecstatic. It’s nice to be done, but I also am sad that it’s over. It takes me a long time to get used to a place and to like a group of people, and I liked this group a lot in general. I keep trying to remind myself that at this time last year I didn’t even know any of them existed, but somehow that makes it all the more amazing. We were all so invested in each other, and all in less than a year. I probably passed these people on the street without noticing them, and now I am going to miss (some of) them.
This is one of those times that I am grateful I’ve had so many big endings in my life already, because I have a better idea of what the reality of these endings are. I imagine (and hope!) there will be a some Ste Anne people that I stay in touch with, and probably even a select few that I actually get closer to. And the rest will fade. And I’ll remember a few vague things that happened this year, but not many and not clearly. And sometimes I will forget I was ever there at all, but sometimes I will forget all the bad parts and just miss these days.
Tomorrow we’re having our last class bash. I am looking forward to it, I think. It will be amazing to have everyone out socializing at the same time, since that has yet to happen otherwise. I don’t think it will be too sad because we still have a few full-day sessions together in the new year in between our practicum placements so we know we will all see each other again. I really just want to dance my heart out and be able to ignore a certain classmate and his girlfriend convincingly. I want to focus on celebrating what we accomplished this year and not get distracted by heartache that just isn’t worth it.
It seems somehow appropriate that today, the very last day of Ste Anne, I lost my USB key with all of my work from the year on it, and also cried at school for the first time (not about the USB key). It’s the last day, which is the perfect time for firsts.
This is one of those times that I am grateful I’ve had so many big endings in my life already, because I have a better idea of what the reality of these endings are. I imagine (and hope!) there will be a some Ste Anne people that I stay in touch with, and probably even a select few that I actually get closer to. And the rest will fade. And I’ll remember a few vague things that happened this year, but not many and not clearly. And sometimes I will forget I was ever there at all, but sometimes I will forget all the bad parts and just miss these days.
Tomorrow we’re having our last class bash. I am looking forward to it, I think. It will be amazing to have everyone out socializing at the same time, since that has yet to happen otherwise. I don’t think it will be too sad because we still have a few full-day sessions together in the new year in between our practicum placements so we know we will all see each other again. I really just want to dance my heart out and be able to ignore a certain classmate and his girlfriend convincingly. I want to focus on celebrating what we accomplished this year and not get distracted by heartache that just isn’t worth it.
It seems somehow appropriate that today, the very last day of Ste Anne, I lost my USB key with all of my work from the year on it, and also cried at school for the first time (not about the USB key). It’s the last day, which is the perfect time for firsts.