Dude, I need someone to fucking talk to...
It hit me so hard.
Without a shatter or a shard.
Really, I'm just broken.
Cannot describe as it's far too stupid, but that's usually how it is. I'm so angry, sad, depressed, confused, and generally at a loss for words. Leave it to a girl to do this to me, and I used to be so different.
I write these things and then sometimes as soon as the next day I read them again and I wish I never had written it in the first place. Either because it's no longer relevant or because I hate looking weak in front of you people. Oh well, I need to talk about it as it's eating me up inside and there's no alcohol to stop it. Sleep will be it's temporary cure, but I doubt it will come so easily...
All I have to say now is fuck. Fuck my stupidity, fuck hers and fuck the both of us for doing this to me. And yes I say me and not us and it's because I really, after tonight, have no fucking idea how she fucking feels about anything. My pages are wiped clean and she is an unknown. How fucking dramatic is that? Probably too much so.
Whatever, I can deal with my problems, the only problem is, I seem to notice myself starting a trend of depression over the past month or so. I'm listening to music differently and taking more from it, I'm becoming more creative again, but also a bit lazier. And most of all, my personality is suffering, and it's so obvious, I'm just not myself to all those who know me. I don't know if I can survive this, I may end up back where I was 3 years ago. Why did it happen then? Yea that's right, a girl. I take things too seriously.
How can I change myself now that I know this? I don't know if I can. Funny how I can be so good at helping and analyzing other people's problems but I can't help myself.
Here I go rambling again. I'll end it here. Although this says so little if you can believe it, but you probably don't care... Goodnight.
Without a shatter or a shard.
Really, I'm just broken.
Cannot describe as it's far too stupid, but that's usually how it is. I'm so angry, sad, depressed, confused, and generally at a loss for words. Leave it to a girl to do this to me, and I used to be so different.
I write these things and then sometimes as soon as the next day I read them again and I wish I never had written it in the first place. Either because it's no longer relevant or because I hate looking weak in front of you people. Oh well, I need to talk about it as it's eating me up inside and there's no alcohol to stop it. Sleep will be it's temporary cure, but I doubt it will come so easily...
All I have to say now is fuck. Fuck my stupidity, fuck hers and fuck the both of us for doing this to me. And yes I say me and not us and it's because I really, after tonight, have no fucking idea how she fucking feels about anything. My pages are wiped clean and she is an unknown. How fucking dramatic is that? Probably too much so.
Whatever, I can deal with my problems, the only problem is, I seem to notice myself starting a trend of depression over the past month or so. I'm listening to music differently and taking more from it, I'm becoming more creative again, but also a bit lazier. And most of all, my personality is suffering, and it's so obvious, I'm just not myself to all those who know me. I don't know if I can survive this, I may end up back where I was 3 years ago. Why did it happen then? Yea that's right, a girl. I take things too seriously.
How can I change myself now that I know this? I don't know if I can. Funny how I can be so good at helping and analyzing other people's problems but I can't help myself.
Here I go rambling again. I'll end it here. Although this says so little if you can believe it, but you probably don't care... Goodnight.