Go do the voodoo that you do so well!
Tomorrow is the last day of 2008, and after no hesitation....don't let the door hit you on the way out!
It was an odd year for me. I don't know why I want it to end so badly. I just think that its time for a new start. And with that....my LONG LONG year in review!
I started 2008 atop a rooftop in Astoria, New York drinking champagne and watching the fireworks from Times Square. Three days before then I had just walked out of my job at the Courtyard. Shitty ass place. But karma is a bitch because where is that place right now? Oh right, CLOSED. BANKRUPT, BITCHES. So basically I started off the year without a job and more then kinda broke. Well, I mean I had the yacht club but that's really no place that pays the bills. But it was something so....I got the job at the Kinsale Inn towards the end of January, right before I went on the Booze Cruise '98 spectacular shitshow. And by the time I got back from the cruise, my credit card was so close to being maxed out, it wasn't even funny. But the cruise was a much needed vacation to escape the dramas of the "real world." Celebrated Greg's birthday on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale, did multiple shots of pineapple upside-down cakes,and got banished to a fleabag hotel. The cruise was a good time, with Jared and Greg being added bonuses. A short visit to Key West followed which was way too short for me but was still long enough to validify why I moved back to Massachusetts.
February and March were alright. I really did enjoy my first couple of months at the Kinsale. I thought I had finally found a place that I really and truly enjoyed working at. The money was awesome and the work itself wasn't that hard. But whaddyaknow? Shit got fucked up. Overnight the place basically turned itself upside down with enough drama to keep one occupied for their lifetime. The people I was closest to got fired for stupid reasons. Management changes happened that weren't for the better. But the money was even better then before. But I'm sure I'm dramatizing the situation a little too much so I must add that I did manage to have some fun especially just hanging out drinking good quality Irish beers after work. And St. Paddy's Day weekend was AMAZING. I can't complain about that at all.
Also in March, I made my first "big girl" purchase. Spur of the moment and I mean literally spur.of.the.moment. I bought myself a new used Jeep. I love her. But I do not love her payments. I was making real good money at the time so there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I could afford it. However there have been some spotty months towards the end of this year where I was definitely wrapping change and cashing in bottles to make these payments on time. When I bought the car I saw one-lane highways in my mind. Travel, travel, travel. That's all I thought about (and still is). Then....I smashed her up. In the parking lot at the Kinsale. It was a sad stressful few weeks where I was either carless or driving around with plastic taped all over the side of the jeep. And I hadn't even made my first payment on it! Amazing.
April....stressed with car problems. And on top of this, a girl at work at the Kinsale and me decided to start apartment hunting. Even with the car payments I really felt that this was my break. This was finally going to be the time where I could comfortably afford to live on my own. We were thisclose to signing on to a cute apartment right up the street from the Kinsale when the landlady decided to deny us because we were both musicians. Now that's just wrong! Support the arts, douchebag! We continued to look at a few other options but eventually it just became clear that it wasn't going to happen. And sitting here now, I know it was for the best. But still at the time it was such a letdown. And at this point I was starting to get fed up with the Inn anyways not really knowing exactly where I stood at the moment.
Baseball season started and I managed to get a few games at Fenway under my belt. My losing streak was finally snapped. I got to witness Jon Lester's no-hitter and a couple weeks before that I got to see a walk-off winning 9th inning. I left the Kinsale in the middle of May. I did it the right way this time though. No walking out, no drama. Just gave my two weeks notice with hopes (not high) that they might take me back in September. I really did try to work out something with the BYC so that I could stay there in the summer too but it was clear that the manager hated me, so oh well. But that stupid bitch of a manager made me so angry the last night I worked there. Didn't even get a decent "good-bye" from her. No "thanks". No nothing. For all the shit I did for that place. You know what? I really hate her. There I said it. Haha. I finally took my jeep on a little excursion after all that when I fleeed the state for a few days and took a much needed mental and actual vacation to Washington D.C. by myself. I really like traveling by myself. I don't know. I'm just really independent like that.
And so began another season at the yacht club....this summer honestly...not my fav. I was constantly stressed out. I was under a lot of pressure, not from the BYC, but from myself and others around me. I was unhappy. Downright unhappy sometimes. Like unhealthly unhappy. I hated living at home. My parents were on me constantly and then as an added bonus they went out and bought THE EXACT SAME CAR AS ME. Same color, same everything. My first big purchase, overshadowed by them and making us look like one of those creepy families who buy matching cars. Not intended. And I was not happy. And you know what I did to change that? Nothing. The BYC was alright this summer. There were some good times and my staff were really great kids and I loved working with them. But something was missing this year. Lack of motivation sometimes. Lack of really giving a shit. Wanting a change but afraid to do something about it. Sounds like my last entry so I'll try not repeat myself too much. But I can't help but emphasize that out of all of this stupidness I did nothing about it.
September rolls around and there I am still at the yacht club fusing about my life. The big cross country trip I wanted to do in September was clearly off because of insufficient funds and my lack of being able to adjust to change. However a good trip to NYC happened where I saw the legend Ms. Celine Dion live on stage. It was a religious experience. Fo realz yo. And I finally saw Wicked on Broadway where I'm glad that I went by myself because I cried the entire time like some 14 year-old Jonas Brothers fangirl. Haha. But it was a dream come true!
I didn't get a second job until the end of October. At this point I had attempted to get my job back at the Kinsale at least 3 times before it was really clear that they didn't want me working there. And now I'm at the Cranebrook. I was worried for a while because it was so slow but it's all good now. And I do like it there but I find myself getting a little too comfortable and that needs to, and will, stop. Because I have plans for 2009. And I can't fuck them up this time.
It's been hard really trying to figure out what it is that I exactly want to do with my life. In high school I wanted to work on a cruise ship. When I entered UMASS as a wide-eyed freshman in 2001, the world was my oyster shell. I had a pretty good life plan mapped out but that all quickly changed. If things worked out according to plan I should have been a cruise director by now. If plans from junior year of college had worked out I should be a certified club manager right now managing a big yacht or city club right now. If plans from Key West had worked out, I was on my way to manage one of the restaurants that I worked in. But none of those three plans worked out. And maybe life is better off without a plan because is something doesn't work out, then you don't get all bummed out. HOWEVER, I have one more plan. It's not a long-term plan. It's semi-short-term plan with the possibility for a long-term plan worked in there somewhere. But I refuse to talk about it (unless I have a few drinks in me which I clearly did this past weekend....) so mums the word until I really really think about what I'm doing. It's just all about boosting the confidence to do a couple things that I should have done at least a year ago.
But that's what a new year is for, right? My new years resolution for 2009 is simple: CHANGE. Unhappy? Do something about. Speak up every now and then. Stop the pissing and moaning and fucking do it. So, I know this was long and I'm sure only one or two people even read this anymore, but that was my year. The good, the bad, the ugly.
"This must be it. Welcome to the new year." - Motion City Soundtrack
It was an odd year for me. I don't know why I want it to end so badly. I just think that its time for a new start. And with that....my LONG LONG year in review!
I started 2008 atop a rooftop in Astoria, New York drinking champagne and watching the fireworks from Times Square. Three days before then I had just walked out of my job at the Courtyard. Shitty ass place. But karma is a bitch because where is that place right now? Oh right, CLOSED. BANKRUPT, BITCHES. So basically I started off the year without a job and more then kinda broke. Well, I mean I had the yacht club but that's really no place that pays the bills. But it was something so....I got the job at the Kinsale Inn towards the end of January, right before I went on the Booze Cruise '98 spectacular shitshow. And by the time I got back from the cruise, my credit card was so close to being maxed out, it wasn't even funny. But the cruise was a much needed vacation to escape the dramas of the "real world." Celebrated Greg's birthday on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale, did multiple shots of pineapple upside-down cakes,and got banished to a fleabag hotel. The cruise was a good time, with Jared and Greg being added bonuses. A short visit to Key West followed which was way too short for me but was still long enough to validify why I moved back to Massachusetts.
February and March were alright. I really did enjoy my first couple of months at the Kinsale. I thought I had finally found a place that I really and truly enjoyed working at. The money was awesome and the work itself wasn't that hard. But whaddyaknow? Shit got fucked up. Overnight the place basically turned itself upside down with enough drama to keep one occupied for their lifetime. The people I was closest to got fired for stupid reasons. Management changes happened that weren't for the better. But the money was even better then before. But I'm sure I'm dramatizing the situation a little too much so I must add that I did manage to have some fun especially just hanging out drinking good quality Irish beers after work. And St. Paddy's Day weekend was AMAZING. I can't complain about that at all.
Also in March, I made my first "big girl" purchase. Spur of the moment and I mean literally spur.of.the.moment. I bought myself a new used Jeep. I love her. But I do not love her payments. I was making real good money at the time so there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I could afford it. However there have been some spotty months towards the end of this year where I was definitely wrapping change and cashing in bottles to make these payments on time. When I bought the car I saw one-lane highways in my mind. Travel, travel, travel. That's all I thought about (and still is). Then....I smashed her up. In the parking lot at the Kinsale. It was a sad stressful few weeks where I was either carless or driving around with plastic taped all over the side of the jeep. And I hadn't even made my first payment on it! Amazing.
April....stressed with car problems. And on top of this, a girl at work at the Kinsale and me decided to start apartment hunting. Even with the car payments I really felt that this was my break. This was finally going to be the time where I could comfortably afford to live on my own. We were thisclose to signing on to a cute apartment right up the street from the Kinsale when the landlady decided to deny us because we were both musicians. Now that's just wrong! Support the arts, douchebag! We continued to look at a few other options but eventually it just became clear that it wasn't going to happen. And sitting here now, I know it was for the best. But still at the time it was such a letdown. And at this point I was starting to get fed up with the Inn anyways not really knowing exactly where I stood at the moment.
Baseball season started and I managed to get a few games at Fenway under my belt. My losing streak was finally snapped. I got to witness Jon Lester's no-hitter and a couple weeks before that I got to see a walk-off winning 9th inning. I left the Kinsale in the middle of May. I did it the right way this time though. No walking out, no drama. Just gave my two weeks notice with hopes (not high) that they might take me back in September. I really did try to work out something with the BYC so that I could stay there in the summer too but it was clear that the manager hated me, so oh well. But that stupid bitch of a manager made me so angry the last night I worked there. Didn't even get a decent "good-bye" from her. No "thanks". No nothing. For all the shit I did for that place. You know what? I really hate her. There I said it. Haha. I finally took my jeep on a little excursion after all that when I fleeed the state for a few days and took a much needed mental and actual vacation to Washington D.C. by myself. I really like traveling by myself. I don't know. I'm just really independent like that.
And so began another season at the yacht club....this summer honestly...not my fav. I was constantly stressed out. I was under a lot of pressure, not from the BYC, but from myself and others around me. I was unhappy. Downright unhappy sometimes. Like unhealthly unhappy. I hated living at home. My parents were on me constantly and then as an added bonus they went out and bought THE EXACT SAME CAR AS ME. Same color, same everything. My first big purchase, overshadowed by them and making us look like one of those creepy families who buy matching cars. Not intended. And I was not happy. And you know what I did to change that? Nothing. The BYC was alright this summer. There were some good times and my staff were really great kids and I loved working with them. But something was missing this year. Lack of motivation sometimes. Lack of really giving a shit. Wanting a change but afraid to do something about it. Sounds like my last entry so I'll try not repeat myself too much. But I can't help but emphasize that out of all of this stupidness I did nothing about it.
September rolls around and there I am still at the yacht club fusing about my life. The big cross country trip I wanted to do in September was clearly off because of insufficient funds and my lack of being able to adjust to change. However a good trip to NYC happened where I saw the legend Ms. Celine Dion live on stage. It was a religious experience. Fo realz yo. And I finally saw Wicked on Broadway where I'm glad that I went by myself because I cried the entire time like some 14 year-old Jonas Brothers fangirl. Haha. But it was a dream come true!
I didn't get a second job until the end of October. At this point I had attempted to get my job back at the Kinsale at least 3 times before it was really clear that they didn't want me working there. And now I'm at the Cranebrook. I was worried for a while because it was so slow but it's all good now. And I do like it there but I find myself getting a little too comfortable and that needs to, and will, stop. Because I have plans for 2009. And I can't fuck them up this time.
It's been hard really trying to figure out what it is that I exactly want to do with my life. In high school I wanted to work on a cruise ship. When I entered UMASS as a wide-eyed freshman in 2001, the world was my oyster shell. I had a pretty good life plan mapped out but that all quickly changed. If things worked out according to plan I should have been a cruise director by now. If plans from junior year of college had worked out I should be a certified club manager right now managing a big yacht or city club right now. If plans from Key West had worked out, I was on my way to manage one of the restaurants that I worked in. But none of those three plans worked out. And maybe life is better off without a plan because is something doesn't work out, then you don't get all bummed out. HOWEVER, I have one more plan. It's not a long-term plan. It's semi-short-term plan with the possibility for a long-term plan worked in there somewhere. But I refuse to talk about it (unless I have a few drinks in me which I clearly did this past weekend....) so mums the word until I really really think about what I'm doing. It's just all about boosting the confidence to do a couple things that I should have done at least a year ago.
But that's what a new year is for, right? My new years resolution for 2009 is simple: CHANGE. Unhappy? Do something about. Speak up every now and then. Stop the pissing and moaning and fucking do it. So, I know this was long and I'm sure only one or two people even read this anymore, but that was my year. The good, the bad, the ugly.
"This must be it. Welcome to the new year." - Motion City Soundtrack