(no subject)
It's 2:23 a.m. when I'm starting this entry and I still have to START my French homework. I'm ridiculous. French 102 is fucking hard because I haven't taken any sort of French in 2 years, and you'd think I'd be more motivated to do the hw and practice it for the test. But it's the opposite. I'm almost discouraged and just don't want to do it.
Anyway, the second semester has been pretty good so far. The week has been good and a little crazy, but this weekend I just sort of relaxed and took it easy. I almost wish I didn't so I could've hung out with the girls more, but sometimes you just need time to yourself. Plus, I wasn't feeling too hot and I didn't want to get sick.
I've been really good with my diet and exercise. I have a gym class tomorrow and I'm planning to go to the gym w/ everyone on Wednesday. They all go to the gym every day now so hopefully that will get me into a routine.
Sooo.. I don't even know what to say. The winter break was really good and it was very... normal. The thing I miss about home when I'm at school is the fact that at home I'm 100% myself and have no trouble talking to ppl.. b/c it's like they already know who i am. Everyone here is just learning, and I'm still at that point where I can't totally open up to people. It's not that I don't trust people, it's that I don't know what to expect from certain people yet.
It's weird... when I first meet people, I study them. I try to figure out who exactly they are and how they'll interpret me and what I say. It takes me a lot to figure out some people, and I guess I have to learn to stop analyzing every little thing. What can I say? I'm going to be a psychologist when I'm older.... or so I think.
I feel like I'm wiling to change myself by becoming more experienced and aware of others. But I don't want to change ME. I don't want to say things I wouldn't normally say, try to live up to other's standards, agree with people for the sake of them liking me, or do anything out of my charachter. So I don't. But I feel like a lot of people here are willing to change and want to change.. either for themselves or for other people. It's hard b/c at times it seems as though it would be easy to change my ways to be like other people, but I KNOW that that is NOT a good thing to do or a good way to be... and that's why I haven't and don't plan on conforming.
Life changed so much in 2004. It's unbelievable. 2004 was an amazing year for me and I wouldn't change a thing about it.
I wish people didn't assume that I was so innocent. I mean I guess in ways I'm inexperienced.. but I'm not naive. And when it comes to being sexually innocent... well, I'm glad people want to tell me that they think I'm inexperienced b/c that definitely doesn't make me feel like an ugly piece of shit. I don't know.. maybe it's because I look like i'm 12.
Wow now it's 3:15.. i just got held up my facebook. It's so addicting. I'm waaay tired and never did my hw. I'm an asshole. Oh well. Fuck it. I just hope she doesnt want to collect it. Note for tomorrow: WORK ON FRENCH. I have a test Friday! Can't fail.
I have a valentine this year.
*sigh* I miss him.
Anyway, the second semester has been pretty good so far. The week has been good and a little crazy, but this weekend I just sort of relaxed and took it easy. I almost wish I didn't so I could've hung out with the girls more, but sometimes you just need time to yourself. Plus, I wasn't feeling too hot and I didn't want to get sick.
I've been really good with my diet and exercise. I have a gym class tomorrow and I'm planning to go to the gym w/ everyone on Wednesday. They all go to the gym every day now so hopefully that will get me into a routine.
Sooo.. I don't even know what to say. The winter break was really good and it was very... normal. The thing I miss about home when I'm at school is the fact that at home I'm 100% myself and have no trouble talking to ppl.. b/c it's like they already know who i am. Everyone here is just learning, and I'm still at that point where I can't totally open up to people. It's not that I don't trust people, it's that I don't know what to expect from certain people yet.
It's weird... when I first meet people, I study them. I try to figure out who exactly they are and how they'll interpret me and what I say. It takes me a lot to figure out some people, and I guess I have to learn to stop analyzing every little thing. What can I say? I'm going to be a psychologist when I'm older.... or so I think.
I feel like I'm wiling to change myself by becoming more experienced and aware of others. But I don't want to change ME. I don't want to say things I wouldn't normally say, try to live up to other's standards, agree with people for the sake of them liking me, or do anything out of my charachter. So I don't. But I feel like a lot of people here are willing to change and want to change.. either for themselves or for other people. It's hard b/c at times it seems as though it would be easy to change my ways to be like other people, but I KNOW that that is NOT a good thing to do or a good way to be... and that's why I haven't and don't plan on conforming.
Life changed so much in 2004. It's unbelievable. 2004 was an amazing year for me and I wouldn't change a thing about it.
I wish people didn't assume that I was so innocent. I mean I guess in ways I'm inexperienced.. but I'm not naive. And when it comes to being sexually innocent... well, I'm glad people want to tell me that they think I'm inexperienced b/c that definitely doesn't make me feel like an ugly piece of shit. I don't know.. maybe it's because I look like i'm 12.
Wow now it's 3:15.. i just got held up my facebook. It's so addicting. I'm waaay tired and never did my hw. I'm an asshole. Oh well. Fuck it. I just hope she doesnt want to collect it. Note for tomorrow: WORK ON FRENCH. I have a test Friday! Can't fail.
I have a valentine this year.
*sigh* I miss him.