More rambling bullshit
Man, being a grownup is fucking exhausting. I don't recommend it for the faint of heart. Or for anyone, for that matter. I see all my friends who are still in school and just want to have that Billy Madison moment where I grasp their face and go "stay here. STAY AS LONG AS YOU CAN." And to think, when I was in college I couldn't get outta there fast enough. The grass is always greener I guess, but what kind of retard doesn't realize that the grass where you have to hold on to a job that isn't right for you to get insurance and pay student loans isn't actually greener? Oh right, this one.
The photography stuff is advancing slowly. Right now I'm working on some product photography for the NJ Library Association, in May I'm lined up for a wedding, and in between then I might be getting a fairly regular job photographing events in White Plains, NY. Hell of a commute, I know, but if it helps me along I'll take it. I'm starting to realize that I have an appalling lack of sympathy for people (where the fuck did that come from? seriously... I've been through a pretty decent amount of stuff so I should be more understanding, but I feel like my niceness is a well that's been temporarily tapped out). This could hinder me pretty fantastically in my quests to work with the mentally ill or be an attorney working with various advocacy groups. I mean, my passion for politics is still the same (this is why I would love to be a photojournalist, not to mention it's my favorite genre of photography), but I don't really want to be the asshole who invests herself in a cause just because I agree with the politics behind it without actually feeling genuine sympathy for the people involved. The only time recently I've thrown myself wholeheartedly into a cause was when I was in New Orleans. Maybe it's because I've spent the better part of my life cleaning up damage left behind by other people. Maybe it's because I don't see myself in anything about that situation, so I embrace how different it is. Who knows? I guess I'll figure it out some more when I'm there again in March.
Life is so strange. I wonder if I'll ever stop surprising myself.
The photography stuff is advancing slowly. Right now I'm working on some product photography for the NJ Library Association, in May I'm lined up for a wedding, and in between then I might be getting a fairly regular job photographing events in White Plains, NY. Hell of a commute, I know, but if it helps me along I'll take it. I'm starting to realize that I have an appalling lack of sympathy for people (where the fuck did that come from? seriously... I've been through a pretty decent amount of stuff so I should be more understanding, but I feel like my niceness is a well that's been temporarily tapped out). This could hinder me pretty fantastically in my quests to work with the mentally ill or be an attorney working with various advocacy groups. I mean, my passion for politics is still the same (this is why I would love to be a photojournalist, not to mention it's my favorite genre of photography), but I don't really want to be the asshole who invests herself in a cause just because I agree with the politics behind it without actually feeling genuine sympathy for the people involved. The only time recently I've thrown myself wholeheartedly into a cause was when I was in New Orleans. Maybe it's because I've spent the better part of my life cleaning up damage left behind by other people. Maybe it's because I don't see myself in anything about that situation, so I embrace how different it is. Who knows? I guess I'll figure it out some more when I'm there again in March.
Life is so strange. I wonder if I'll ever stop surprising myself.