Creepy Old Men
I got dragged out to go see North Country the other day. It's one of those movies that's based on a true story and I'm always of two minds when it comes to watching movies like that. On one hand you know that it's not going to have the thrill factor as some slap-dash movie with a million explosions and guns, but on the other hand you know that you could very well learn something from it.
The thing that struck me most in the film was just how powerful the notion of fear of reprisal can be when it comes to controlling and subjugating other people. It's as if no matter how bad things get, there's a fear that it could get worse and that kind of thinking seems to lead to a lot of inaction and trying to maintain the status quo. It's kind of pathetic when you look at it from a disinterested view point, but at the same time you can sort of understand it if the heat was on you in that kind of a situation.
I finally talked myself into taking a bit of a break from GW, and getting on with that art stuffs that I've been putting off for weeks. Plus the toll it was taking on my sleep pattern was starting to affect me; probably more so than most people since I'm not a big coffee drinker. Anyway, if I can lay off the gaming for a week, I should be able to get this thing finished comfortably before next weekend. I just hope I still have a place to put it when it's finished.
Oh, and the inquiries continue about getting my own server space. :3 My main sticking point right now is not so much the cost of getting web space, but rather paying for it over the net. I dunno, I guess I'm still a little old fashioned that way. Don't quite trust eCommerce and all that jazz just yet. >_> If not, then I guess my last resort will be to bug someone to lend me some space. ._. Hope it doesn't come to that though. It really does feel like I'm intruding on something if I did. But anyway! We shall see.
I'm starting to feel more and more impatient and restless about sitting around and not doing anything really worthwhile with my life lately, too. Heh, funny that when I had time to do something about it I did nothing, but now that I don't have any time there's a truckload of things I want to get done.
I know I like to joke about it, but I only get older by the day. I don't want to wake up one day when I'm 50 (assuming I reach 50) and think to myself "Shit, I've wasted the last 30 years of my life and I've done nothing with it." That's how a mid-life crisis happens. That's when you realise what a fossil you've become and try to compensate for it by buying expensive cars as a means to justify that all that time you've wasted doing the same shit day in, day out wasn't actually wasted.
There's this one thing that I'd really like to get accomplished before I turn 26. Which... gives me a bit under 4 years to do it. Though every time I look at what I want to do, it just seems so daunting that it's kind of off-putting. Mm... I get the feeling that this isn't going to be one of those things I'm going to be able to solo with henchies.
I know this is going to sound whiny, but it really bugs me when people don't listen when you're talking to them. You can explain yourself once, twice, half a dozen times, and they can still come back asking the same question. It's not like there's a lot of people who do that kind of thing, but it really only takes one person to get under your skin. It's just frustrating, for lack of a better word.
One more reason why I much prefer to not have to deal with other people. >_>
Speaking of talking to other people, it's so hard getting a hold of people whom I really want to talk to. They all seem to be lost in their own little world with their own problems to deal with. Not that I have much of a right to complain about that kind of thing, but still... It'd just be nice hear from them a bit more often. Or is it just that the only reason I want to hear from them more is because I hardly hear from them at all?
I suppose I should go and poke them a bit more often, see what's up and all. Though it always seems to me like I'm trespassing on territory that I should be on if I did that. Eh. Maybe I'm just fearful of making it worse. :\
Cosby Bebop
The thing that struck me most in the film was just how powerful the notion of fear of reprisal can be when it comes to controlling and subjugating other people. It's as if no matter how bad things get, there's a fear that it could get worse and that kind of thinking seems to lead to a lot of inaction and trying to maintain the status quo. It's kind of pathetic when you look at it from a disinterested view point, but at the same time you can sort of understand it if the heat was on you in that kind of a situation.
I finally talked myself into taking a bit of a break from GW, and getting on with that art stuffs that I've been putting off for weeks. Plus the toll it was taking on my sleep pattern was starting to affect me; probably more so than most people since I'm not a big coffee drinker. Anyway, if I can lay off the gaming for a week, I should be able to get this thing finished comfortably before next weekend. I just hope I still have a place to put it when it's finished.
Oh, and the inquiries continue about getting my own server space. :3 My main sticking point right now is not so much the cost of getting web space, but rather paying for it over the net. I dunno, I guess I'm still a little old fashioned that way. Don't quite trust eCommerce and all that jazz just yet. >_> If not, then I guess my last resort will be to bug someone to lend me some space. ._. Hope it doesn't come to that though. It really does feel like I'm intruding on something if I did. But anyway! We shall see.
I'm starting to feel more and more impatient and restless about sitting around and not doing anything really worthwhile with my life lately, too. Heh, funny that when I had time to do something about it I did nothing, but now that I don't have any time there's a truckload of things I want to get done.
I know I like to joke about it, but I only get older by the day. I don't want to wake up one day when I'm 50 (assuming I reach 50) and think to myself "Shit, I've wasted the last 30 years of my life and I've done nothing with it." That's how a mid-life crisis happens. That's when you realise what a fossil you've become and try to compensate for it by buying expensive cars as a means to justify that all that time you've wasted doing the same shit day in, day out wasn't actually wasted.
There's this one thing that I'd really like to get accomplished before I turn 26. Which... gives me a bit under 4 years to do it. Though every time I look at what I want to do, it just seems so daunting that it's kind of off-putting. Mm... I get the feeling that this isn't going to be one of those things I'm going to be able to solo with henchies.
I know this is going to sound whiny, but it really bugs me when people don't listen when you're talking to them. You can explain yourself once, twice, half a dozen times, and they can still come back asking the same question. It's not like there's a lot of people who do that kind of thing, but it really only takes one person to get under your skin. It's just frustrating, for lack of a better word.
One more reason why I much prefer to not have to deal with other people. >_>
Speaking of talking to other people, it's so hard getting a hold of people whom I really want to talk to. They all seem to be lost in their own little world with their own problems to deal with. Not that I have much of a right to complain about that kind of thing, but still... It'd just be nice hear from them a bit more often. Or is it just that the only reason I want to hear from them more is because I hardly hear from them at all?
I suppose I should go and poke them a bit more often, see what's up and all. Though it always seems to me like I'm trespassing on territory that I should be on if I did that. Eh. Maybe I'm just fearful of making it worse. :\
Cosby Bebop