Aug 02, 2005 21:02
Well as many of you probably DON'T know, I'm going to be moving to Bellevue soon, and starting school again at BCC in the fall. Tonight I figured I would start going through my closet to sort my old stuff, and I found two boxes stuffed full of old notes and letters and photographs and memories from high school. Needless to say I became distracted for a bit hehe. It was almost a shock to my system to see and read about the stuff that was going on only a few years ago, and how much has changed... and how little has changed. I felt like I was right back in the swing of it all, like it hasn't already been over a year since the last day of school. So much stuff forgotten already too, but one glance at a note or picture and it all came flooding back. I feel like a different person than I was, but sometimes I think I'm just the same person in different circumstances. Have I grown at ALL since those days of notes under Minugh's nose, drugs at delane's, ali and sarah, skipping school, jazz band trips, crazy emotional angst...? And if I haven't, is that such a bad thing? What is "growth" anyway but experiencing the different phases of life? I think if I was thrown back into the same situations with the same people, I would act almost exactly the same way. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I guess that chapter of my life is officially over now, which I haven't really thought about up until now. I think I spent most of this past year trying to forget everything that happened and move on, and apparently I was really really successful, because all these things, feelings, memories, seem like they occured a lifetime ago. And it really hasn't been that long. It's sad that I may never see or speak to some of my old friends again, not to mention that the relationships I do maintain will most likely never be the same. Although I suppose that is my choice, just like the path that my life goes in is also my choice. Which is a comfort. I still have phone numbers, I still have AIM screen names, all is not lost. And I am moving forward as well, into the unknown, with new faces, excitements and opportunities. But for now, I think I'll reminisce a little longer...