I have felt very strange lately. I believe I have lost sight of what it means to be me. I don't know exactly what that means, but it seems to be the dilemma.

So, its been quite some time since i updated this here little journal. It seems strange to write in it now, since i mostly wrote about my japanese life for my friends at home, and now i am with half of the friends who were reading my journal. But nonetheless, I suppose i'll put a little blub on my life since I've been back in good 'ole america ( ( Read more... )

So I was supposed to go to Nikko for the day with Nobu, but I dont have the time, money, nor interest in doing so anymore. So I decided that it was time to let him know. He emailed me, and I told him how I felt ( Read more... )

I lie in bed ( Read more... )

Tonight I went to the Lost in Translation bar. That's right, the bar on the 50-somethingth floor of the Park Hyatt in Shinjuku, Tokyo. It was gorgeous. It costs $20 to go there after 8 pm, and then the drinks start at about $15 a pop. But Abbie's friend D came along, and covered us, saying that we should just pay Abbie some money later. So for ( Read more... )

My stomach is churning right now, because I am thinking about leaving.
What is it going to be like when I get home?
I can't handle change anymore...
What's wrong with me? I used to be so open to change, and I also am anxious for change. I want to be home, yet I dread it.
I can't handle myself right now. I need to turn off my mind for a minute.

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I went to the Edo museum in Tokyo today as my last Japanese class.  Frank, Lynne, Kelly and I went.  I found out I got an A in the class, even though I chose to take it Pass/No Pass.  So I am going to try and change it.  I don't know if it is too late.

After the museum, we went to Shinjuku, and after eating, Frank and I decided to check out a ( Read more... )

Ok, so I don't know what is wrong with me.

Aside from not feeling like I want any sort of relationship with Nobu anymore, I am also beginning to have feelings fro Frank.

Frank is a second year UCSC student.  I had been attracted to him when he first came here, but then he had a girlfriend, so I dropped that.  And he can be really abnoxious ( Read more... )