Grrr!

[yokittycupcake]

It's not that Parkview is a bad school or anything. I just plain don't want to go. I'm fed up with it. I honestly don't know why I don't have my GED yet. I suppose the main reason why I am still in school is so that I can stay on insurance. I'm in quite an annoying situation right now. I have skipped going to school this entire week and it has really given me a guilt trip. I'm doing nothing but playing video games, amtgard, and hanging out with my new friends. It's been great! But I am tired of trying to ignore the fact that I am nothing but a lazy piece of nothing. I have no goals, no dreams, or ambitions. I really need some. I do have a goal right now actually. That goal is to get that stupid piece of paper that says that I have a high school education. The only way I am going to do that is by going to those night classes. I have to turn in the application to do that, and if I get accepted, I will get a job and go to the classes. I can pick what time to go to that classes as long as I stay for four+ hours. Not bad. Recently I have tried to apply for volonteer work at the zoo here. With my luck, of course that fell through. My friend says that he may be able to talk to the manager at TCBY and get me a job there. Me + ice cream maker = HAPPY! Anyways, if I don't get accepted into night school, I will have to sacrifice my insurance, quit school, take GED classes and ACT prep. If I can do that immidiately, I might still be able to stay on insurance. I will have to apply to a college immediately too though. I have a lot of planning to do. I have no idea where I want to go to college. Really, it's either Pulaski tech here in AR, or UNA in AL. Either is fine with me. This means I have to decide where I want to live from now on. I love Little Rock now that I have great friends, and of course I have Amtgard that I don't want to leave, as well as a great guitar teacher. But of course in AL, I have friends there too, it's familiar, I have a boyfriend there who misses me dearly, I have family too. But no amtgard. So I would HAVE to start my own park. Amtgard is very important to me and I really don't want to leave it. I have so many decisions I have to make in such a short period of time, and it's driving me insane. I have gained a lot of weight recently, and I have been eating crap. My self-esteem is the worst, I've been gnawing on my fingernails and they are revolting. I am going crazy. I need a vacation. I need to go on an adventure.

So. If you have been wondering where I have been, and what I have been doing recently, this is what I have been doing.

I've been playing amtgard, and going to fighter practices. I have been skipping school. I have been hanging out with my friends playing card games and dungeons and dragons. I have been playing Utawarerumono. I've been glued to my computer downloading a bunch of stuff, lookin at pr0nz, and talking to people who I will never ever meet. I have also been playing Ragnarok Online Deliverence. I'm playing Rhapsody: A musical Adventure. I'm not doing anything productive, meaningful, or anything. I haven't been reading your live journals, or replying to your super sweet replies to my journal, but I wanted to let you all know that I love them, and they make me happy to see!

And now for something happy.

These are sculpey figurines:




These are plushies:







I want to go make stuff like this, but of course I won't because I just plain suck at getting off my arse.