She's got a ticket to ride
I know I should have blogged about this important event but I didn't. A lot of things happened afterwards and before I knew it. almost a month has passed. LOL. sorry.
July 6 is an important date as this marks the day that we received our plane tickets. OMG! ALHAMDULILLAH! ALLAHU AKBAR! I remember staring at the computer monitor reading the details. I just got up that morning and I burst into tears. It's REALLY REALLY REALLY TOTALLY HAPPENING, MAN! As if the excitement won't stop, first my visa and then now our PLANE TICKETS! From that day, everything has been about what to dispose, sell, pack up. It's still a continuous process till now. The stuff I thought I ought to keep, I decided to just leave behind. And some I thought to leave behind, I am considering of taking them with me.
The week after (July 14) we had a get-together with close friends in our apartment and it was such a blast. Just pure awesomeness all over. This is just a first of the monthly gatherings, of course. Lots of food. Good conversations. Making memories. Good times. We're already planning a next one this month actually. Hehehe! :D
This morning, I was going through some of my old pictures taken from yesteryears with friends and faces. I've moved A LOT of it to an empty photo album my mom gave us from two anniversaries ago and now it has found its use. Also gone through other stuff that I decided to give to friends instead. I'd rather they enjoy it as a memento from me than getting squished in travel. There is a weight limit that we seriously need to consider too.
How am I feeling? I feel excited. I feel crazy. I feel restless. I feel overwhelmed. I feel INSANELY NOSTALGIC AND FRIGGIN SENTIMENTAL. For some insane reason, I have the strongest craving to watch LOTS of Filipino movies and listen to Filipino music. I had to save several movies and bookmarked links where I can watch them. gyaah! Also getting so many eBooks as well as romantic comedy films I grew up watching when I was in college.
WE NEED TO VISIT RIZAL PARK THIS MONTH, MAN! Also have to maximize Star City for Shamsa's sake. The kid's old enough to appreciate the rides for free.
I want to revisit that side of me before I was introduced to the internet. I wanna make plans. I wanna pursue them the best that I can. I have these things listed in my head and I will do what I can to accomplish them with the time I have left here in the country.
I am very grateful that we are having our Ramadan here before leaving. I feel that it's very important that we do and how timely it has been.
There are still some paperwork that has to be done before we leave and more fees to pay but nothing crazy or too major. A lot of the hard part's already been done. This paperwork's just a bit of a hassle but my attitude towards it is, LET'S GET THIS DONE AND OVER WITH. The sooner we do this, the better we'll feel.
It's amazing...that we don't feel like we're in limbo anymore. There is this feeling of permanence. I know I do. For the first time in my life, I REALLY DO! I never once thought I'd feel this way. I always thought that it was something only to be dreamt of, to be desired from afar. We know have a destination to reach. Duston can't wait to leave already. I want to take as much time as I can until departure date.
I do have some expectations when I arrive the States but I'm gonna have to keep them chilling for now and take them out later. Right now I'm gonna clear my head, unload some stressful longterm emotional baggage and get my teeth fixed. I was also very grateful that I FINALLY got my check for a radio commercial I did a few months ago and with the good money, I was able to buy needful items mostly for Shamsa and a few for me. I still need at least two pairs of jeans. None of the jeans displayed in Unitop will fit me. ew. However, I did find a VERY NICE sweater and a comfy pair of flats to wear for the airport. YATTA!!!
Waaah! It's already August. OMG!! OMG!! Another whole month to go in September and then we're off! It feels so quick and yet not. I dunno. I'm just really excited and scared at the same time. All this anticipation is making me giddy. But I believe we're gonna get through this, inshaAllah. We've been through so much already. We've overcome a lot of difficulties and challenges along the way and all we have now is patience. Patience to go through it all as long as we're together. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be everything and more than we hoped for.
Aaaah...I'm gonna immerse myself in positive energy and boundless optimism. I still have tears in me and yes there are still painful memories haunting me in my sleep and in my awake state but I will refuse to be overcome by them. I will be proactive. Lately I had a dream of myself in a new school and meeting new people. Most of my school dreams have been very stressful for me and I always woke up feeling irritated because even in the dream I hated it. I was always, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE? I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL! WHY THE HECK AM I SEEING THESE PEOPLE FROM MY PAST AGAIN???
But lately, it hasn't been this way. It was a new school. New people. People of different races. I saw myself being introduced to two guys who seemed to have made a reputation in the school dorm for being a bit of bullies and I shook their hands and looked straight at them and introduced myself very eloquently. "Hi, I'm Aish." I felt so confident. I felt really strong. I looked straight at them and saw in their eyes that I wasn't to be messed with. I saw acknowledgement. Yes, you will not forget me. You will all know me. I won't be another face in the crowd in this school. I smiled.
I woke up from the dream feeling REALLY GOOD about myself.