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[yohanna_chan]

Night…
School is killing me right now. I’m behind and with the new course started I have loads of stuff to do… and since I’m apparently f*cking stupid right now, you can guess how it’s going >.<
It’s all blank in my head when I study… I have no idea what to write and it’s just taking out its toll.

My boyfriend is sleeping so I’m all alone with

Comments

[jenbowie]

I did see your latest post after I replied and I'm pleased you are cutting back. That makes the most sense. It doesn't matter when you get your degree so long as you make a good go of it. ^_^

I suspect since you have ADHD like me, it's not so much about sucking in school, but moreso about school's inability to engage you. Meaning, if you aren't interested in something, you don't do as well. It's not to say that you can't do something, but just if what you are studying doesn't inspire you, you may not be able to focus on it as well. There are, in fact, numerous studies that suggest many individuals with ADHD are above average in intelligence...it just comes down to whether they can focus on something or not. A prime example from my own life is math. Math does not inspire me at all. Not one little bit. XDD So if you asked me to do fractions right now I couldn't. Sometimes I can't even add numbers in my head because I get bored and my mind wanders. XDD On the other hand, Japanese really intrigued me - so much so I was often earning the highest grade in my classes. I focused more on Japanese because it interested me more. But math...no. XDDD

Definitely take little breaks even with a reduced schedule. You'll be able to focus easier if you do other stuff on the side.

Can you study with other things going? I often studied Japanese while listening to B-T because it gave my brain something else to do while I studied.

[yohanna_chan]

Yea, you're right there... When I was younger, they didn't know much about ADHD or so, so non of the teachers suspected it... And so, from the age of 6 to 15 they told me that I need to stop "daydreaming", move my lazy ass and get some work done. "You're very nice Johanna, but you need to work harder"... ah man, I really did try, but as you said, if it doesn't inspire you, it's hard to get it done.
I couldn't understand how my classmates could sit down and just get all those megaload-boring things done even though they didn't like it, because when I tried it was like my brain just shut down...
I'm guessing you know the feeling.

Math LOL... that's one of my worst things. Though I've noticed, if you get a really good teacher (and then I mean really good, there is not many of those here)... It helps a lot, I actually did lots of math on my own just because of this teacher. He was so nice and once told me "You are a very beautiful person", and then I don't mean "beautiful" as in pretty, I mean... personality, how you are. So good teachers can inspire, though it's rare.

How old where you when you found out about your ADHD? (If I may ask)

I think I can... often have the TV on at days. Good and bad I guess, good cause it makes me feel less lonely but also bad since it can make me distracted. Haven't tried music actually. Before I couldn't do it, but before I didn't have my medicine... and that helps a lot. ^^

[jenbowie]

I'm with you all the way. ^_^ I remember staring at the other kids and not understanding how they could just start working/studying so easily. I despised school growing up not because I hated learning, but because I hated learning at other peoples' paces and needs. XD College was easier for me though because I was freer to explore things that interested me - I'd say it took a little bit for me to start, but I flourished in college.

With me, they pretty much knew I had it from birth. I rarely slept more than a total of 2-3 hours per night up until I was about 10 or so. My mom had a brother who was hyper, so she spotted it in me right away. She used to play music and rock me to it every night to calm me down (in fact, one of my earliest memories is of staring at the lights on the stereo system as mom rocked me in the dark). XD I think in a way that's why I love music so much - as my mother says, it's one of the few things I could focus on and really enjoy.

A lot of my troubles growing up were simply I just couldn't stop moving - literally. I used to get these sort of "jerks" (almost like my body had an electrical shock) and I couldn't go to sleep. I still get them as an adult. But for me, my mom and I found the best way for me to deal with it is just to wear myself out. So I push myself until the point of exhaustion mentally and physically and then collapse. ^_^ As a kid, for instance, I couldn't watch television at all and it really upset me. It took too much to focus on a show for 30 minutes. But mom got me a little trampoline for inside the house (they called it a "rebounder") and stuck it in front of the tv...so I bounced to my heart's content and watched shows for the first time through. XDD As an adult, I still don't watch much tv, but when I do, I usually peddal a little bike thing I have. It's just some of my different ways of coping with it.

You might try listening to BT while you study. Try Cosmos for instance. The nice thing about studying Japanese with Japanese music going is not only are you studying, but you get a sort of subliminal reinforcement of hearing words and pronunciations. Acchan is responsible for me picking up a lot of words/phrases like kimi, anata, yureru, me wo tojite, mizu, etc.

[yohanna_chan]

I've never been so hyper, so maybe that's why it was hard to see. But I did have trouble sleeping, still does... but that's just me I guess.
My grandmother use to rock and sing to me in Finnish when I was a little kid. My mother too, even though her singing voice is horrible XD
I just had trouble focusing, and I tend to start things but not finish, and I forget things... oh how I forget.
It was just small things that made me different from other kids, but also, I was my parents first child, so they didn't know if I where normal or not... I'm not normal, but I like it ^^

I think it was a very creative idea XD

Yea, B-T music has learned me a lot... Though, phrases from "Kimi no Vanilla" is stuff I won't really be needing... though I wrote on my boyfriends birthdaycard "あんたが大好き"... though with only hiragana, since I don't know much kanji yet ;P

[jenbowie]

LOL, I forget what I'm saying in mid-sentence frequently. My family and friends are used to me jumping topics rapidly, however, so it's not that big of a deal. >.<

While there are things about being ADHD that are hard, there are also great things. As one person used to say about me, if I was motivated, I could get more done in one day than most people did in a week. It's just all about what motivates and inspires you. ^_^

Well, even if you don't need to know some of the phrases yet (like mune), it is good reinforcement of how things should sound, ways of stringing things together and so on. My conversation partner told me I sounded more Japanese than most people she spoke to, and she agrees it's because I listen to the music so much so I get a better feel for the sound. Still have problems with that が tho, since it has a more nasally sound to it than what we Americans do which is a more gutteral, grunt-like "gah" XDDD

[yohanna_chan]

You know what, the thing that person told you is exactly what my dad told me. ^^

Yea, same for me... I only speak with my teacher but I KNOW that listening to music and such makes me better at pronouncing.
Also... being Swedish gives me a great advantage, since our pronouncement are very alike the romaji sound... so the が is not a problem for me... though I have a problem with the r's, since I make them too hmm hard... it sounds more like l sometimes.

Since I haven't talked to you "live" I have no idea how you sound, but I bet you're good, probably better than me... But I think I'm better at speaking Japanese than English XDD