At least LJ's failure is a constant!
I've been listening to "Metsu" a lot lately. No particular reason, it's just hitting something right. But it's gotten me to thinking all kinds of things. Firstly that I was not nearly as into Kagrra, as I should have been. Secondly that their sound is still amazing. Thirdly, that I have all these little bitty regrets as regard my jrock days, and they're starting to feel like they add up to rather a lot.
Maybe it's just part of the nostalgia wave that I've been riding lately, maybe not. But the fact is that while I hop from fandom to fandom dragging my old ones behind me, jrock was the only thing I ever tried to violently sever myself from. I left almost every community, stopped following all the blogs, couldn't even bring myself to listen to any of the music for months...it was one of those awful, kneejerk breaks that really make no sense in retrospect. True, the way I was going about things was not sustainable, but "overreaction" does not even begin to describe what I did.
So it's just one of those things that makes me wonder. What if I'd stuck with it? What if VK band #4240482 wound up being the greatest band I'd ever known? Would I have more internet friends? Would I know more Japanese by now? Would I have ever gotten to see a concert?
I'm not upset about the way my actual or fannish life has gone instead, but I can't help this feeling of wanting it all back, in a way. Of course, even if I did attempt such a thing I'd have no idea where to start, as I'm sure everything I used to know is either gone or twisted beyond recognition. (Except for JaME. As long as that's still around I know there's some good left in the world ♥) And I'm far too caught up in other things at the moment to dream of doing so. But still, I miss it. No matter what else happened, or all the reasons I stopped paying attention to that scene, I do miss it.
...quite a bit based off of just one song, huh? XD
Maybe it's just part of the nostalgia wave that I've been riding lately, maybe not. But the fact is that while I hop from fandom to fandom dragging my old ones behind me, jrock was the only thing I ever tried to violently sever myself from. I left almost every community, stopped following all the blogs, couldn't even bring myself to listen to any of the music for months...it was one of those awful, kneejerk breaks that really make no sense in retrospect. True, the way I was going about things was not sustainable, but "overreaction" does not even begin to describe what I did.
So it's just one of those things that makes me wonder. What if I'd stuck with it? What if VK band #4240482 wound up being the greatest band I'd ever known? Would I have more internet friends? Would I know more Japanese by now? Would I have ever gotten to see a concert?
I'm not upset about the way my actual or fannish life has gone instead, but I can't help this feeling of wanting it all back, in a way. Of course, even if I did attempt such a thing I'd have no idea where to start, as I'm sure everything I used to know is either gone or twisted beyond recognition. (Except for JaME. As long as that's still around I know there's some good left in the world ♥) And I'm far too caught up in other things at the moment to dream of doing so. But still, I miss it. No matter what else happened, or all the reasons I stopped paying attention to that scene, I do miss it.
...quite a bit based off of just one song, huh? XD