Le Conseiller: The Advisor, Random Entries
AN: Unlike my other stories which are formed in distinct arcs and chapters, Le Conseiller is divided into different characters and their journal entries. Interwoven between each of them are short snippets of third-person narrative. However, most of the "story" are series of journal entries, small bios, snippets on leaflets written in the hands of the characters themselves. Some are long and some are short--these are a few of the shorter entries for the "main" protagonist.
- July 23
“When this curse, thrust upon me, was only a few years old I did not like to be alone. I did not like the quiet, and I hated the dark, gloomy thoughts that crossed my mind. I wanted nothing more than to surround myself with noise. Thus my love of society developed. However, now at a mature age in life, I find society glorious for different, less desperate, reasons. And yet at times I find myself that scared man constantly fidgeting under the weight of the quiet. Now that I sit and write this, I laugh at the absurdity of my mind. Yet, at the same time I know that if I suffer from this, a creature said to feel nothing, how humans must suffer under the suffocation of nothing at all.”
- September 12
“Must I constantly be aware that I am a walking corpse bound to experience agony with each night? I do not, no,-cannot-understand myself. When I think back I assume I must have been ghastly to be turned into such a monster. Cannot even the vampires with flesh be allowed some mortal comforts? I, on the other hand, have been cast to the pits of Hell only to trudge through the sludge every night without even one mortal luxury. I get no peace in both mind and body. I am reminded again of my inhuman nature by having to constantly cast away dead skin, and slowly lose what gives man his appearance. Do not think me pitiful, however, because what a wretch I must have been-and still am-to deserve such a fate as mine.”
- October 21
“With each transformation I think, no scream to myself, “No, not again! Do not be cast away! Come and stay with me. I do not want to feel the pain again.” Yet it is unfeeling and comes again in waves of hot magma tearing through my veins, muscle, skin, and fine hair. The eyes roll from their sockets, once cradled, now pooling to the floor. My hair falls away, and skin melts off painfully to the point where I start ripping flesh off to quicken the sting so it can leave me alone. My heart, dead as always, becomes again exposed to the elements, and lungs, veins, and internal organs erode away into disease. This is what my life is like every time I do not feed quick enough. I’m not sure if I will ever be rid of this curse. I still have thoughts of walking into the woods and never coming back.”
- July 23
“When this curse, thrust upon me, was only a few years old I did not like to be alone. I did not like the quiet, and I hated the dark, gloomy thoughts that crossed my mind. I wanted nothing more than to surround myself with noise. Thus my love of society developed. However, now at a mature age in life, I find society glorious for different, less desperate, reasons. And yet at times I find myself that scared man constantly fidgeting under the weight of the quiet. Now that I sit and write this, I laugh at the absurdity of my mind. Yet, at the same time I know that if I suffer from this, a creature said to feel nothing, how humans must suffer under the suffocation of nothing at all.”
- September 12
“Must I constantly be aware that I am a walking corpse bound to experience agony with each night? I do not, no,-cannot-understand myself. When I think back I assume I must have been ghastly to be turned into such a monster. Cannot even the vampires with flesh be allowed some mortal comforts? I, on the other hand, have been cast to the pits of Hell only to trudge through the sludge every night without even one mortal luxury. I get no peace in both mind and body. I am reminded again of my inhuman nature by having to constantly cast away dead skin, and slowly lose what gives man his appearance. Do not think me pitiful, however, because what a wretch I must have been-and still am-to deserve such a fate as mine.”
- October 21
“With each transformation I think, no scream to myself, “No, not again! Do not be cast away! Come and stay with me. I do not want to feel the pain again.” Yet it is unfeeling and comes again in waves of hot magma tearing through my veins, muscle, skin, and fine hair. The eyes roll from their sockets, once cradled, now pooling to the floor. My hair falls away, and skin melts off painfully to the point where I start ripping flesh off to quicken the sting so it can leave me alone. My heart, dead as always, becomes again exposed to the elements, and lungs, veins, and internal organs erode away into disease. This is what my life is like every time I do not feed quick enough. I’m not sure if I will ever be rid of this curse. I still have thoughts of walking into the woods and never coming back.”