One-shot: I Need You
Title: I Need You
Author: YINGxsquare
Pairing: Ryutaro/Yuuri
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Slight Angst
Disclaimer: Only the plot and OCs are mine, others belonged to Johnny (:
Summary: The title says it all.
A/N: This fic is adapted from a Korean song call ‘I Need You’ by K.Will. It’s a really nice love and slightly sad song. And, I’m presenting this fic as a birthday present for Ryutaro! Finally seventeen! Morimoto Ryutaro, happy birthday and stay strong! :D
-x-
When I heard your greeting asking how I was doing
My heart that I held back became hot again
And I asked myself for a long time if this was really the you that I’ve known for so long
-x-
Taking a sip from the glass of orange juice, my finger clicked the mouse slowly. My eyes were fixed on the bright rectangular-shape monitor as the picture changed from one to another. A smile was adorned on my lips as the pictures began to show more hilarious expressions of the other members. Upon realizing that my cursor had reached the end of the album, I hit the ‘Back’ button to find myself clicking onto the other album on accident.
As the contents of the album displayed on my screen, a nostalgic feeling washed over me and my cursor hovered over the first picture before clicking on it. Staring at the picture displayed clearly on the screen, I froze in my seat while my grip around the glass tightened. I swallowed hard and my eyebrows twitched as my gaze continued to linger on the picture. Placing the glass gently on the desk, I shifted my gaze to the heading of the album title.
It was the 2011 album, which was created three years ago. So that’s why…
Just then, a vibration from my cellphone interrupted my thoughts. Flipping it open, it was a message from Ryosuke. Without any other thoughts in mind, I hit the ‘Read’ button and the content appeared before my eyes.
“Let’s have a gathering with all the JUMP members again. It’s not going to be nine but ten people instead…”
My voice trailed off as I read the message aloud. My eyebrows twitched while my brain began to search for the meaning behind that sentence.
Not the nine of us but ten? That means Yama-chan is actually inviting…him…
My hand shook slightly as the memories of the past entered my mind once again, after two years.
So…I’m actually going to see him after three years again? That’s…
In the midst of my thoughts, my eyes flickered from the cellphone to the monitor. Those feelings that I had buried were returning. Unconsciously, warm tears gathered in my eyes, threatening to fall any moment. Taking in a deep breathe, I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand before looking at the message again. Before I could even hesitate, my fingers began to move on their own, typing out a reply. As my finger hit the ‘Send’ button, I found myself back into the real world and tried to stop the message from being sent over but to no avail. Heaving a heavy sigh, I took a quick glance at the reply before closing my eyes and leaned against the backrest of the chair.
Sure, count me in. Is everyone else attending too?
----------------------------------------------------------
“Chii, are you alright? You look really tense up.”
I looked up at Daiki before shaking my head with a small smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not tense up. It’s just…”
My voice trailed off and I set my lips into a grim line. Dropping my gaze onto the table, I heaved a heavy sigh.
Right, I don’t even know how I’m feeling now. My mind is in a whirlpool and my heart is churning badly.
I lied. I’m not feeling well at all.
I felt a pat on my shoulder and turned slightly. It was Ryosuke, who was wearing his warmest smile.
“It’ll be fine, Chii. Don’t be nervous. Relax.”
My gaze shifted to the other members who sat around the table. All of them nodded in my direction, wearing the same warm smile. Both my heart and mind began to settle down and I felt slightly better, just merely by a tiny bit.
“Thanks, guys,” I thanked softly, touched by their actions.
Just then, the bell on the door rang loudly. The footsteps stopped for a moment before it began to advance in our direction. My heart tightened as each step was taken. Closing my eyes, I began to take in small deep breathe while I felt Daiki’s hand stroking my back lightly. I shut my eyelids harder as I heard the chair being dragged.
“Hey, guys. It’s been a long time.”
His voice entered my ears. It was the same familiar calming voice. Opening my eyes, I looked up slowly and my gaze trailed up along his neck to his jawbones before it landed on his face. I sucked in a load of air as our gaze met.
Those gentle eyes and warm smile.
“Hey.”
Words were stuck at my throat and my palms were sweating badly. Swallowing hard, I nodded in his direction, earning another warm smile from him.
“So, how’ve you been?”
Those feelings that were buried deep in my heart exploded instantly. Curving my lips into a small smile, I nodded again.
“Good.”
He wore that same smile again before averting his gaze away. At that moment, I thought I saw a tint of sadness flashed in his eyes before he turned away. Staring his side view, my heart lurched slightly before it began to pound faster.
Even though his voice, his smile, his gaze were the same, something else about him had changed.
I frowned slightly before widening my eyes, upon noticing the change.
There’s no more idol feeling surrounding him anymore. He’s behaving just like how a commoner should be - carefree.
I lowered my gaze onto the table and sighed.
Does that means we’ve drifted even further apart?
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I was happy to hear your voice for the first time in a year
When you said you missed me, tears kept falling
Did you hurt as much as I did too?
-x-
“Let’s walk home together.”
I agreed instantly, without even thinking. He flashed a gentle smile before gesturing his hand, allowing me to take the first step. Surprised by his action, I nodded shyly and took the first step quickly.
It was past dinner time after we dismissed ourselves. As we walked along the streets quietly, I fidgeted uncomfortably. I had tried to occupy myself with random thoughts but to no avail. I couldn’t even think of anything at all.
Everything that’s happening now feels so surreal.
Just then, he stopped on his tracks and I followed suit as well. My heart tightened as he turned to face me. When our gaze met, I was taken aback by his expression. Unknowingly, my heart began to throb painfully.
“Ryuu…”
Again, I was abashed by my own words.
I had just called out that pet name after three years...
I watched silently as his hand reached out in my direction before placing gently against my cheek. As his thumb stroked lightly, my heart throbbed harder and warm tears were brimming in my eyes.
“I missed you, Chii…”
My eyes widened as I stared at him in shock. His eyes were watery before tears began to roll down his cheeks slowly.
“I really missed you, Chii…”
I closed my eyes as his warmth enveloped my entire body. His scent entered my nostrils and I inhaled it deeply. Tears ran down my cheeks as well, realizing how much I had been yearning for that familiar scent.
I missed you too, Ryuu. I thought you’ve forgotten about me. I was wrong.
His grip around my body tightened and I had no mean of letting him go either. Those two years of loneliness and yearning for him, it was unbearable.
I thought I couldn’t see you anymore.
Upon pulling away from the hug slightly, my heart clenched tight when I saw his tear-stricken face. Placing both my hands gently on his cheeks, I began to thumb off his tears. His eyes were fixed on me, never leaving even for a millisecond. As our gaze met again, my heart ached harder and clenched my jaws tightly. His eyes were filled with guilt and sadness.
You had actually suffered more than I did.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I need you, I need you
Even if a year passes, if ten years pass, I am the same
I’m a person who didn’t forget even for a single day
It needs to be you, you are my love
I can’t go on without you, I need you
-x-
After that day, my mind was preoccupied with him. I couldn’t remember even the simplest dance moves and ended up receiving a heavy scolding from our choreographer. It was Kota who came forward to explain to him. However, none of his explanation was the correct reason behind all my horrible blunders. While Kota was in the midst of explaining, someone else came up and dragged me away. As I settled down on the seat, the other seven pairs of eyes were staring in my direction and I tried to ignore it.
“Chii, what happened? You’ve been acting weird after we met up with Ryutaro that day.”
I clenched my jaws tightly, refusing to answer his question.
It hurts to even recall it.
“Yabu, you’re not supposed to mention his name in Chii’s presence! You knew how much Chii had suffered during those three years!”
Tears began to well up in my eyes as the scene appeared in my mind.
“I’m sorry, Chii. But even so, you should handle your feeling properly. Please bear in mind that you shouldn’t mix your personal affairs with work matters.”
I heaved a heavy sigh and nodded before leaving the room. Settling down at a corner on the rooftop, I cuddled myself closely and buried my face on my knees. His face, his smile, his gentle eyes, just everything about him appeared in my mind once again. And somehow, his scent still lingered in my nose. I couldn’t forget it. Turning my head to the side, I found myself staring at the buildings opposite. Watching the vehicles driving along the road, my mind began to sort out those feelings. That’s when I realized how much I needed him.
Those sweet memories, I hadn’t forgotten any moment of it. It was still clear and fresh in my mind, as if it had happened just yesterday.
Those tender and sugar-sweet kisses that we shared, I could still feel his soft lips pressed against mine gently.
Those warm hugs, I could still feel his warmth surrounding my body, not even leaving an inch. It never fails to make my body feel warm and fuzzy.
He had become part of my life without knowing. I realized how much I needed and yearned for him. I’ve never forgotten about him during those three years. My heart aches for him.
I need him badly.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I look at you as I walk and look again
I look at your hand, tightly holding mine
I let go of it and hold it again, smiling like a fool
We were so small and happy, it was better that we were together
I only think of those kinds of things - why didn’t we know back then?
-x-
My mind was in a mess and I decided to take a short nap. Lying face-down on the bed, I breathed in my own scent and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep instantly.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a familiar room. I took a quick scan around before it hit me hard. I was in the juniors’ training room. However, I had no idea why I was here in the first place.
Didn’t I fell asleep on my bed earlier? Why did I appear here?
Before I could ask myself even more questions, two kids ran into the room and settled down at a corner. I blinked twice before narrowing my eyes at them. Then my eyes widened.
E-eh? Isn’t that Ryuu? And that kid sitting beside him was me! What in the world is happening?
Walking towards the two kids, I sat down in front of them but they didn’t seem to notice me. I even tried to wave at them but was ignored. Then I realized that I was actually in my dream. I watched in silence as the two kids stood up and skipped hand in hand to the center of the room. The two of them started dancing, which I couldn’t remember having to dance such steps. Then the younger version of me released his hand and moved to the side to dance a solo part before returning. To my surprise, he grabbed the latter’s hand once again and flashed a wide smile.
The younger version of me looked so happy. It seemed as if I really do like him a lot.
Just then, my heart stopped abruptly. Slowly, I stood up from my place and walked towards the two kids. My gaze was fixed upon their interlaced hands. As I squatted in front of them, I placed both my arms around their shoulders and they turned to face me. They wore their brightest smiles and their fingers were laced together tightly with no hint of letting go. I returned a smile and stood up once again.
I didn’t know I could smile so brightly and happily.
I had always taken a liking towards him ever since I met him in the Jimusho. Whenever there were events, where both of us would be present, I’d run over to find him and have most of our times together. At that time, I merely thought that we were best friends. But I was wrong.
It was neither a liking nor best friends. It was in fact, more than that.
My heart was blown away the first time we met.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I will run to you now and hold you in my arms
I’m running out of breath, I will shout till it overflows
-x-
Without knowing, I found myself running towards his house. My mind told me to stop immediately but my heart encouraged me to keep on running. In the end, my body was taken control by my heart.
I couldn’t stop. I miss him. I need him. I love him.
At last, I reached his doorstep, panting heavily. My clothes were soaked in my own perspire and my fringe was stuck onto my forehead. However, I decided to ignore those uncomfortable feelings. As my finger reached to press the doorbell, the door clicked open and I found myself staring right into another pair of dark brown orbs.
“Chii…”
His calming voice reached into my ears and sent a warm fuzzy feeling through my entire body. Tears brimmed up in my eyes within that split second and I threw myself at him. He stumbled a few steps back but his grip on my body remained tight. With the familiar scent rushed into my nostrils once again, I began to sob.
“Chii, what happened? Why are yo-“
“I love you, Ryuu. I love you,” I mumbled incoherently with my constant sobbing, after cutting off his statement.
I felt his body tensed up and his grip loosened slightly.
“Chii, what are you ta-“
Immediately, I pushed him away roughly as tears continued to stream down my cheeks.
“These three years, you’ve been on my mind every single day. I knew I should forget you but I couldn’t. Those sweet memories kept replaying in my mind,” I shouted loudly and sniffled.
“I love you, Ryuu. Please come back and join us again. You’ve no idea how much I had missed you. I need you badly. It killing me here…,” I sobbed uncontrollably as my voice trailed off while my hand gripped onto the cloth tightly, where the pain was growing.
I had thrown of my pride and everything else while running to his house. I couldn’t care less about my image and how he’d think of seeing me with tear-stricken face. Nothing else mattered as much as him, accepting my feelings and returning to the group once again. Johnny-san had given his word to let him to decide whether he’d like a comeback into the group, but he had yet to give his answer.
With that dash earlier and my emotional breakdown, my entire body started to feel sore and my legs began to turn into jelly. Just as I thought I’d collapsed onto the cold hard ground, a pair of strong and warm hands caught me, before embracing my body tightly. I looked up to find myself drawn into those beautiful big orbs once again.
“I’m sorry, Chii. I’m sorry to make you suffer despite my vow that I wouldn’t let you shed a single tear. I love you too and I’ll give my answer to Johnny-san by tomorrow. I’ll return and make a comeback with you and the rest of JUMP together. You’ve my word.”
It was the last thing that rang in my head and I remembered flashing a smile that I thought I had lost before my vision blacked out entirely.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I need you, I need you
A hundred times, a thousand times, I will love you
I won’t ever let you go again
I won’t leave you because you are my love
I will promise you that I will love you forever till I die
-x-
“Congratulations to the comeback of Morimoto Ryutaro with the rest of Hey! Say! JUMP!”
After the recording had ended, the other members ran off quickly, mumbling something incoherent that they had some errands to do. We couldn’t stop them because before we could even react, they dashed off with such a great speed that others might thought they were being chased by a ghost. Taking a side glance at him, we chuckled at the silliness of our band mates before heading back to the preparation room.
Plopping down onto the couch, I leaned my head against the backrest of it and closed my eyes.
It had been a long time since I’ve put in so much effort into something. I feel so much more energetic than last time, probably because he was here with me.
Then I felt a pair of warm hands over mine and opened my eyes. To my surprise, he was squatting down in front of me, staring deep into my eyes. My cheeks began to burn under his eye-piercing stare.
“Ryuu, don’t stare at me like this!” I said quickly, flustered.
Instead, he laced our fingers together and held them tightly. Slowly, he leaned in and I closed my eyes. My heart was pounding wildly as I felt his breath tickling on my face. The burning sensation on my cheeks became stronger as I felt his soft lips on mine. Releasing our locked fingers, his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me closer till our bodies smashed together. Neither of us wished to let go.
Then, a sudden loud cough made our eyes flew opened. Upon realizing that we had been busted by our fellow band mates, we moved away from each other in a flash. My cheeks were burning hot by that time and my heart was on the verge of exploding.
“It seems like we’ve entered at the wrong timing,” Kei announced loudly before giving us a wink.
I turned away in embarrassment and felt his hand over mine again. Staring at him, he flashed that gentle smile of his again. My heart fluttered and intertwined our fingers together.
Now that he’s back here with us, I’ll never let him slipped away again.
He had become a part of my life since the first time we met and I’ll continue to hold onto him tightly.
He was the first and the last person whom I’ll ever love.
I vow that I’ll love him with my entire heart for eternity till my last breath runs out.
I love you, Morimoto Ryutaro.
Author: YINGxsquare
Pairing: Ryutaro/Yuuri
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Slight Angst
Disclaimer: Only the plot and OCs are mine, others belonged to Johnny (:
Summary: The title says it all.
A/N: This fic is adapted from a Korean song call ‘I Need You’ by K.Will. It’s a really nice love and slightly sad song. And, I’m presenting this fic as a birthday present for Ryutaro! Finally seventeen! Morimoto Ryutaro, happy birthday and stay strong! :D
-x-
When I heard your greeting asking how I was doing
My heart that I held back became hot again
And I asked myself for a long time if this was really the you that I’ve known for so long
-x-
Taking a sip from the glass of orange juice, my finger clicked the mouse slowly. My eyes were fixed on the bright rectangular-shape monitor as the picture changed from one to another. A smile was adorned on my lips as the pictures began to show more hilarious expressions of the other members. Upon realizing that my cursor had reached the end of the album, I hit the ‘Back’ button to find myself clicking onto the other album on accident.
As the contents of the album displayed on my screen, a nostalgic feeling washed over me and my cursor hovered over the first picture before clicking on it. Staring at the picture displayed clearly on the screen, I froze in my seat while my grip around the glass tightened. I swallowed hard and my eyebrows twitched as my gaze continued to linger on the picture. Placing the glass gently on the desk, I shifted my gaze to the heading of the album title.
It was the 2011 album, which was created three years ago. So that’s why…
Just then, a vibration from my cellphone interrupted my thoughts. Flipping it open, it was a message from Ryosuke. Without any other thoughts in mind, I hit the ‘Read’ button and the content appeared before my eyes.
“Let’s have a gathering with all the JUMP members again. It’s not going to be nine but ten people instead…”
My voice trailed off as I read the message aloud. My eyebrows twitched while my brain began to search for the meaning behind that sentence.
Not the nine of us but ten? That means Yama-chan is actually inviting…him…
My hand shook slightly as the memories of the past entered my mind once again, after two years.
So…I’m actually going to see him after three years again? That’s…
In the midst of my thoughts, my eyes flickered from the cellphone to the monitor. Those feelings that I had buried were returning. Unconsciously, warm tears gathered in my eyes, threatening to fall any moment. Taking in a deep breathe, I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand before looking at the message again. Before I could even hesitate, my fingers began to move on their own, typing out a reply. As my finger hit the ‘Send’ button, I found myself back into the real world and tried to stop the message from being sent over but to no avail. Heaving a heavy sigh, I took a quick glance at the reply before closing my eyes and leaned against the backrest of the chair.
Sure, count me in. Is everyone else attending too?
----------------------------------------------------------
“Chii, are you alright? You look really tense up.”
I looked up at Daiki before shaking my head with a small smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not tense up. It’s just…”
My voice trailed off and I set my lips into a grim line. Dropping my gaze onto the table, I heaved a heavy sigh.
Right, I don’t even know how I’m feeling now. My mind is in a whirlpool and my heart is churning badly.
I lied. I’m not feeling well at all.
I felt a pat on my shoulder and turned slightly. It was Ryosuke, who was wearing his warmest smile.
“It’ll be fine, Chii. Don’t be nervous. Relax.”
My gaze shifted to the other members who sat around the table. All of them nodded in my direction, wearing the same warm smile. Both my heart and mind began to settle down and I felt slightly better, just merely by a tiny bit.
“Thanks, guys,” I thanked softly, touched by their actions.
Just then, the bell on the door rang loudly. The footsteps stopped for a moment before it began to advance in our direction. My heart tightened as each step was taken. Closing my eyes, I began to take in small deep breathe while I felt Daiki’s hand stroking my back lightly. I shut my eyelids harder as I heard the chair being dragged.
“Hey, guys. It’s been a long time.”
His voice entered my ears. It was the same familiar calming voice. Opening my eyes, I looked up slowly and my gaze trailed up along his neck to his jawbones before it landed on his face. I sucked in a load of air as our gaze met.
Those gentle eyes and warm smile.
“Hey.”
Words were stuck at my throat and my palms were sweating badly. Swallowing hard, I nodded in his direction, earning another warm smile from him.
“So, how’ve you been?”
Those feelings that were buried deep in my heart exploded instantly. Curving my lips into a small smile, I nodded again.
“Good.”
He wore that same smile again before averting his gaze away. At that moment, I thought I saw a tint of sadness flashed in his eyes before he turned away. Staring his side view, my heart lurched slightly before it began to pound faster.
Even though his voice, his smile, his gaze were the same, something else about him had changed.
I frowned slightly before widening my eyes, upon noticing the change.
There’s no more idol feeling surrounding him anymore. He’s behaving just like how a commoner should be - carefree.
I lowered my gaze onto the table and sighed.
Does that means we’ve drifted even further apart?
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I was happy to hear your voice for the first time in a year
When you said you missed me, tears kept falling
Did you hurt as much as I did too?
-x-
“Let’s walk home together.”
I agreed instantly, without even thinking. He flashed a gentle smile before gesturing his hand, allowing me to take the first step. Surprised by his action, I nodded shyly and took the first step quickly.
It was past dinner time after we dismissed ourselves. As we walked along the streets quietly, I fidgeted uncomfortably. I had tried to occupy myself with random thoughts but to no avail. I couldn’t even think of anything at all.
Everything that’s happening now feels so surreal.
Just then, he stopped on his tracks and I followed suit as well. My heart tightened as he turned to face me. When our gaze met, I was taken aback by his expression. Unknowingly, my heart began to throb painfully.
“Ryuu…”
Again, I was abashed by my own words.
I had just called out that pet name after three years...
I watched silently as his hand reached out in my direction before placing gently against my cheek. As his thumb stroked lightly, my heart throbbed harder and warm tears were brimming in my eyes.
“I missed you, Chii…”
My eyes widened as I stared at him in shock. His eyes were watery before tears began to roll down his cheeks slowly.
“I really missed you, Chii…”
I closed my eyes as his warmth enveloped my entire body. His scent entered my nostrils and I inhaled it deeply. Tears ran down my cheeks as well, realizing how much I had been yearning for that familiar scent.
I missed you too, Ryuu. I thought you’ve forgotten about me. I was wrong.
His grip around my body tightened and I had no mean of letting him go either. Those two years of loneliness and yearning for him, it was unbearable.
I thought I couldn’t see you anymore.
Upon pulling away from the hug slightly, my heart clenched tight when I saw his tear-stricken face. Placing both my hands gently on his cheeks, I began to thumb off his tears. His eyes were fixed on me, never leaving even for a millisecond. As our gaze met again, my heart ached harder and clenched my jaws tightly. His eyes were filled with guilt and sadness.
You had actually suffered more than I did.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I need you, I need you
Even if a year passes, if ten years pass, I am the same
I’m a person who didn’t forget even for a single day
It needs to be you, you are my love
I can’t go on without you, I need you
-x-
After that day, my mind was preoccupied with him. I couldn’t remember even the simplest dance moves and ended up receiving a heavy scolding from our choreographer. It was Kota who came forward to explain to him. However, none of his explanation was the correct reason behind all my horrible blunders. While Kota was in the midst of explaining, someone else came up and dragged me away. As I settled down on the seat, the other seven pairs of eyes were staring in my direction and I tried to ignore it.
“Chii, what happened? You’ve been acting weird after we met up with Ryutaro that day.”
I clenched my jaws tightly, refusing to answer his question.
It hurts to even recall it.
“Yabu, you’re not supposed to mention his name in Chii’s presence! You knew how much Chii had suffered during those three years!”
Tears began to well up in my eyes as the scene appeared in my mind.
“I’m sorry, Chii. But even so, you should handle your feeling properly. Please bear in mind that you shouldn’t mix your personal affairs with work matters.”
I heaved a heavy sigh and nodded before leaving the room. Settling down at a corner on the rooftop, I cuddled myself closely and buried my face on my knees. His face, his smile, his gentle eyes, just everything about him appeared in my mind once again. And somehow, his scent still lingered in my nose. I couldn’t forget it. Turning my head to the side, I found myself staring at the buildings opposite. Watching the vehicles driving along the road, my mind began to sort out those feelings. That’s when I realized how much I needed him.
Those sweet memories, I hadn’t forgotten any moment of it. It was still clear and fresh in my mind, as if it had happened just yesterday.
Those tender and sugar-sweet kisses that we shared, I could still feel his soft lips pressed against mine gently.
Those warm hugs, I could still feel his warmth surrounding my body, not even leaving an inch. It never fails to make my body feel warm and fuzzy.
He had become part of my life without knowing. I realized how much I needed and yearned for him. I’ve never forgotten about him during those three years. My heart aches for him.
I need him badly.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I look at you as I walk and look again
I look at your hand, tightly holding mine
I let go of it and hold it again, smiling like a fool
We were so small and happy, it was better that we were together
I only think of those kinds of things - why didn’t we know back then?
-x-
My mind was in a mess and I decided to take a short nap. Lying face-down on the bed, I breathed in my own scent and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep instantly.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a familiar room. I took a quick scan around before it hit me hard. I was in the juniors’ training room. However, I had no idea why I was here in the first place.
Didn’t I fell asleep on my bed earlier? Why did I appear here?
Before I could ask myself even more questions, two kids ran into the room and settled down at a corner. I blinked twice before narrowing my eyes at them. Then my eyes widened.
E-eh? Isn’t that Ryuu? And that kid sitting beside him was me! What in the world is happening?
Walking towards the two kids, I sat down in front of them but they didn’t seem to notice me. I even tried to wave at them but was ignored. Then I realized that I was actually in my dream. I watched in silence as the two kids stood up and skipped hand in hand to the center of the room. The two of them started dancing, which I couldn’t remember having to dance such steps. Then the younger version of me released his hand and moved to the side to dance a solo part before returning. To my surprise, he grabbed the latter’s hand once again and flashed a wide smile.
The younger version of me looked so happy. It seemed as if I really do like him a lot.
Just then, my heart stopped abruptly. Slowly, I stood up from my place and walked towards the two kids. My gaze was fixed upon their interlaced hands. As I squatted in front of them, I placed both my arms around their shoulders and they turned to face me. They wore their brightest smiles and their fingers were laced together tightly with no hint of letting go. I returned a smile and stood up once again.
I didn’t know I could smile so brightly and happily.
I had always taken a liking towards him ever since I met him in the Jimusho. Whenever there were events, where both of us would be present, I’d run over to find him and have most of our times together. At that time, I merely thought that we were best friends. But I was wrong.
It was neither a liking nor best friends. It was in fact, more than that.
My heart was blown away the first time we met.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I will run to you now and hold you in my arms
I’m running out of breath, I will shout till it overflows
-x-
Without knowing, I found myself running towards his house. My mind told me to stop immediately but my heart encouraged me to keep on running. In the end, my body was taken control by my heart.
I couldn’t stop. I miss him. I need him. I love him.
At last, I reached his doorstep, panting heavily. My clothes were soaked in my own perspire and my fringe was stuck onto my forehead. However, I decided to ignore those uncomfortable feelings. As my finger reached to press the doorbell, the door clicked open and I found myself staring right into another pair of dark brown orbs.
“Chii…”
His calming voice reached into my ears and sent a warm fuzzy feeling through my entire body. Tears brimmed up in my eyes within that split second and I threw myself at him. He stumbled a few steps back but his grip on my body remained tight. With the familiar scent rushed into my nostrils once again, I began to sob.
“Chii, what happened? Why are yo-“
“I love you, Ryuu. I love you,” I mumbled incoherently with my constant sobbing, after cutting off his statement.
I felt his body tensed up and his grip loosened slightly.
“Chii, what are you ta-“
Immediately, I pushed him away roughly as tears continued to stream down my cheeks.
“These three years, you’ve been on my mind every single day. I knew I should forget you but I couldn’t. Those sweet memories kept replaying in my mind,” I shouted loudly and sniffled.
“I love you, Ryuu. Please come back and join us again. You’ve no idea how much I had missed you. I need you badly. It killing me here…,” I sobbed uncontrollably as my voice trailed off while my hand gripped onto the cloth tightly, where the pain was growing.
I had thrown of my pride and everything else while running to his house. I couldn’t care less about my image and how he’d think of seeing me with tear-stricken face. Nothing else mattered as much as him, accepting my feelings and returning to the group once again. Johnny-san had given his word to let him to decide whether he’d like a comeback into the group, but he had yet to give his answer.
With that dash earlier and my emotional breakdown, my entire body started to feel sore and my legs began to turn into jelly. Just as I thought I’d collapsed onto the cold hard ground, a pair of strong and warm hands caught me, before embracing my body tightly. I looked up to find myself drawn into those beautiful big orbs once again.
“I’m sorry, Chii. I’m sorry to make you suffer despite my vow that I wouldn’t let you shed a single tear. I love you too and I’ll give my answer to Johnny-san by tomorrow. I’ll return and make a comeback with you and the rest of JUMP together. You’ve my word.”
It was the last thing that rang in my head and I remembered flashing a smile that I thought I had lost before my vision blacked out entirely.
----------------------------------------------------------
-x-
I need you, I need you
A hundred times, a thousand times, I will love you
I won’t ever let you go again
I won’t leave you because you are my love
I will promise you that I will love you forever till I die
-x-
“Congratulations to the comeback of Morimoto Ryutaro with the rest of Hey! Say! JUMP!”
After the recording had ended, the other members ran off quickly, mumbling something incoherent that they had some errands to do. We couldn’t stop them because before we could even react, they dashed off with such a great speed that others might thought they were being chased by a ghost. Taking a side glance at him, we chuckled at the silliness of our band mates before heading back to the preparation room.
Plopping down onto the couch, I leaned my head against the backrest of it and closed my eyes.
It had been a long time since I’ve put in so much effort into something. I feel so much more energetic than last time, probably because he was here with me.
Then I felt a pair of warm hands over mine and opened my eyes. To my surprise, he was squatting down in front of me, staring deep into my eyes. My cheeks began to burn under his eye-piercing stare.
“Ryuu, don’t stare at me like this!” I said quickly, flustered.
Instead, he laced our fingers together and held them tightly. Slowly, he leaned in and I closed my eyes. My heart was pounding wildly as I felt his breath tickling on my face. The burning sensation on my cheeks became stronger as I felt his soft lips on mine. Releasing our locked fingers, his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me closer till our bodies smashed together. Neither of us wished to let go.
Then, a sudden loud cough made our eyes flew opened. Upon realizing that we had been busted by our fellow band mates, we moved away from each other in a flash. My cheeks were burning hot by that time and my heart was on the verge of exploding.
“It seems like we’ve entered at the wrong timing,” Kei announced loudly before giving us a wink.
I turned away in embarrassment and felt his hand over mine again. Staring at him, he flashed that gentle smile of his again. My heart fluttered and intertwined our fingers together.
Now that he’s back here with us, I’ll never let him slipped away again.
He had become a part of my life since the first time we met and I’ll continue to hold onto him tightly.
He was the first and the last person whom I’ll ever love.
I vow that I’ll love him with my entire heart for eternity till my last breath runs out.
I love you, Morimoto Ryutaro.