(no subject)
so... Jake and I went to the store. While there we see one of his exes. I walk over to her and give her a hug. She says that she's sick and so I respond with a want me to beat you up.. beat the cold out of you.. to which she responds yeah.. but remember you fuck with one derby girl you fuck with 30.. and when she said it I had the feeling she wasn't playing as I had been but was threatening me. I'm sure she still wants Jake.. and when they were together I thought it was a match made in heaven.. until jake dumpped her and went to ashley and I realized he never loved her like he loved ashley... probably never will.. I still assume that if she could ever stop being a psycho bitch (for which reason thier relationship was terminated) they'd get back together.. and though he'll never love her with such passion as he loved his last girl.. I mean with ash.. I could tell he was in love.. he was taken away.. and I was happy that he was.. sometimes I can see it in him he still is.. for her he was willing to do whatever it took.. there's only one other girl I really think he loved and I don't even think they were ever actually together.. of course he says it was only a crush.. but I think the other girl was more.. Still I liked him and this chcik I try to spend time with that I feel was suttly trying to threated me. They looked good together.. and I know she probably realizes that her being jealous was the worst thing she could have been since that is what drove him away.. there could be more to the story.. he hasn't told me more.. but I really don't want to know.. my boss doesn't understand that I think that someday it'll be them agian.. but they were a couple that people saw and it made scence.. and though I have no intention of stepping aside.. He's worth a lot.. and I know it's temporary.. I'm just as psychotic.. I'll screw it all up as well.. all I can do is cherish what time I have with someone that is awesome.. our only real fights is over his drug usage.. but he's slowed down on it a lot.. I never asked him to quit.. I just told him I wasn't comforable with it.. and the method in which he did it that directly affected me I wouldn't tolerate.. so he changed his method.. and rarely ever does it now anyways.. and thanked me for not tolerating it.. anyhow it kinda pissed me off.. and probably she was only joking. I hope for her sake she was.. now all I have to figure out is if I want to ask Jake what he thinks about it.. or if I should just keep it to a blog.. if after finishing it's still on my mind I probably will.. if it's not I don't need to bother him with it. Anyhow thanks for lisening.. I know it doesn't matter either way.. but I had to get it off my chest.. cause there's the possibility it'll bother jake.. and I don't want to upset him.. plus it's probably all in my head.. most things seem to be.. and I like the girl.. she's pretty nifty.. like I said if she grows up I think they'll get back together.. cause they were awesome together.. from my point of view.. other people closer to the situation said it was bad.. but I don't care.. they were good together..