(no subject)
okay. well im in school again because were "researching" so i'm going to finally update!
wow, so much to say. lets start with how much better i am feeling about this whole nick thing. it's like im such a happier person. i cant begin to thank my friends enough who really shone throughout this all. One main person being kevin grodnick. He really is the reason why i'm okay and happy and was able to get over it.
thursday i went to eat breakfast at chuck wagon because rob(the old head athletic trainer) was down from UF and all the old trainers were going to meet up. i was still really devastated but i needed to get my mind off nick so i thought i might as well start hanging out with friends. I cried throughout the entire time we were sitting at the table, not only because i had just had my heart crushed but because everytime he comes down i cry because i miss him so much. i really wish he was still here, and i was in training like how it used to be. when it was actually fun and the best time of highschool. Later on that day I went over chris's house (friend from footlocker) and hung out with Deris and Ryan and him while it rained and we awaited the hurricane. It was nice hanging out with them i miss those boys; footlocker was fun i have :to say. great group of people. IT started raining reallyyy hard and i needed to get home. so i had to drive home in the middle of hurricane katrina at pm! it was the scariest drive of my life. i talked to kevin the whole way, scared for my life. street lights were out, trees were down, i couldnt see cause of the rain, it was insane. and i was sooo far from home! I also got really sad on the way home because I found out some upsetting news so it made me cry a lot. I got home and my heart was in the pit of my stomach. I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I decided to call nick because for some reason i thought that's what i needed. I needed to sort it out, out of my life. I dont think i've ever felt so stupid or hurt in my life. I was basically treated like a piece of shit. like i was nothing. it was obvious to me i really had become nothing to him. just like that. it finally sunk in. As i awaited the call i was positive i wouldnt be recieving, i just decided i had had enough. i couldnt do that to myself anymore, especially for someone who was already moving on the day after leaving "the one". yeah. i fell asleep quickly because it was raining, i had no power, and my phone was quickly losing battery as i whined and cried to kevin.
Friday morning was a disaster. Outside my house of course. trees were everywhere, it was sticky hotttt, and i needed a shower. my mom had power so i drove to her house to shower. I had nothign to do all day anyways since i was just beginning to "have a life". I definetly was not going to the Green Day concert anymore; but atleast theres always a rebound to take my place so that the tickets wont go to waste.i stayed at my moms house for a while and bonded with her and my sister. it was really nice. then i went to titinas house with jackie and we watched cruel intentions and just sat there. After there, i left to meet up with kevin at bradley's house. we sat outside and then just went to his house because he had power. we sat on his bed staring at the wall for like two hours just talking. it was actually not boring. he's such an awesome person.
Saturday i hung out with my mom and went to my aunts house. we were there for a while just bonding, then later i went to my moms, showered, and went to titinas to get ready. We were going to Mansion. I drove all the girls, it was alright. Im not just going to jump into a party girl mood out of nowhere u know. but it was nice to get out. Random kids asking for mine and yvys numbers inviting us to go out clubbing with them. we were the most anti social there but somehow we managed to make friends. hmm. I ended up just going home after, talked to kevin, then slept.
Sunday I went to my aunts house again, sat there for a little, then went to go pick up kevin. We went to blockbuster to rent a movie for my mom and aunt, then back to my aunts. The drive around miami was insane the whole weekend. Almost crashed a million times, almost killed kevin like 3 times. Blockbuster was the worst thing we did. I dont think i ever stop laughing with kevin. He went to go show me how messed up his rearview mirror was and completely ripped it off. It was the funniest moment ever. So after my little sister and cousin attacked kevin for like an hour, we decided to leave. Dropped him off at home, went to my house because we finally got POWER! yayyyy. showered, got ready and went to pick up kristin to go to titinas for the vmas. We were there for a little, then pulled a mission with kristin to get her bk, then back to titinas. After, i took kristin home, then went home.
Monday we had no school again! it was great. woke up early because it was the day my dad was leaving. I wont be seeing him for a really long time, like 6 months. Then i showered and got ready, went to the falls to pick up my check cause we finally opened. Jason asked me to go run a mission for him and pick up food at sunset to bring to the falls. So i did that then back to the falls. Put gas, got red bull and went to pick kristin up. We went and picked yvy up and then off to the beach we went. It was dead but sunny and beautiful water, eventually more people got there but it was like later and i had to go to work at 5 and yvy and kristin wanted kendal ale. Kevin got there and convinced me to go in the water with him for a little. fun stuff. So we headed out and off to kendal ale. Best food in dade. Then i took yvy home and kristin home and changed for work in 2 minutes, and got to work like 10 min late. Work was good it was pretty busy.
Tuesday sucked cause we had to get up and go to school! eeewwww. worst thing ever. I was actually doing really good in school i thought i would be sad seeing nick, but it was really okay. I got to befriend all my old friends again and it was just awesome feeling like i had people there to support me. I had work from 4-9. blabla. Wednesday was the hottest day ever made in school. No AC! i wanted to faint, and was having allergy attacks. totally blowed. After school I went to kevins, then work from 4-9. After work i stopped by kevins house for like 15 minutes, then went home. such a tiring hottt icky day. Thursday I woke up early and took kevin to school. School was like a long day. after school I went to kevins, then round 4 i went home to shower and change. Went to kevins at 6 and me him and rubel went to kfc, then headed to the football game. yay. It was sooo weird being in the stands. i MISS training soo much. being on the field is like nothing else ! We beat southmiami 14-6 fasho. hopefully we do good this year. The game was fun, it was a change. Me and yvy were like sad missing training. Kristin got hurt! i hope everythings okay babe im sorry that u got hurt !!! i love youuuuu ! <3 i wish i couldve put ice on uuu mwahaha. After the game we dropped rubel off then to kevins so i could get my car and go home. was there for a little then off i went.
Katie and i are talking again, i guess i can just forget the lies and drama, because she really needs a friend now and i know how it feels and whatever i just dont care for problems anymore. i guess i should stop getting mad at people or stop ending friendships cause in the end i always forgive and forget. so whats the point of wasting valuable time for unforgettable memories.
Okay sooo here is everything that has been done in the past like week! now let me tell you about my feelings. I cant say i dont think about nick every once in a while, but i know i can do so much better and deserve better. Im really doing okay and havent shed a tear. Its sad but you know, it happens all the time. people just dont love each other forever. ill always love and care for him, but not the same. I really love my friends and everyone is just cool. Im so tired of all the drama that was going on with me and other girls while i was with nick. like half the girls i hated had something to do with him. So im just trying to set priorities and fix problems and be good with friends, cause ive realized friends are really what matter. when i look in retrospect at somethings ive done or said or gotten mad about i just get so mad at how stupid and immature i have been in the past...because when the "lover" who promises to be ur best friend forever leaves your life, youre real friends really stand out. and ive come to realize you have to become friends with someone before being with them because a friendship is the backbone of every relationship. a friendship made before the feelings of love. and thats the only way a relationship can actually work perfectly. and i really think this is the beginning of perfection. <3
THANK U EVERYONE... I LOVE YOU ALL. and im sorry to all those people who i have shut out of my life, been a bitch to, hated, anything bad. i really am sorry. its all so stupid. hopefully one day we can all forgive each other.. and you know who you are.
wow, so much to say. lets start with how much better i am feeling about this whole nick thing. it's like im such a happier person. i cant begin to thank my friends enough who really shone throughout this all. One main person being kevin grodnick. He really is the reason why i'm okay and happy and was able to get over it.
thursday i went to eat breakfast at chuck wagon because rob(the old head athletic trainer) was down from UF and all the old trainers were going to meet up. i was still really devastated but i needed to get my mind off nick so i thought i might as well start hanging out with friends. I cried throughout the entire time we were sitting at the table, not only because i had just had my heart crushed but because everytime he comes down i cry because i miss him so much. i really wish he was still here, and i was in training like how it used to be. when it was actually fun and the best time of highschool. Later on that day I went over chris's house (friend from footlocker) and hung out with Deris and Ryan and him while it rained and we awaited the hurricane. It was nice hanging out with them i miss those boys; footlocker was fun i have :to say. great group of people. IT started raining reallyyy hard and i needed to get home. so i had to drive home in the middle of hurricane katrina at pm! it was the scariest drive of my life. i talked to kevin the whole way, scared for my life. street lights were out, trees were down, i couldnt see cause of the rain, it was insane. and i was sooo far from home! I also got really sad on the way home because I found out some upsetting news so it made me cry a lot. I got home and my heart was in the pit of my stomach. I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I decided to call nick because for some reason i thought that's what i needed. I needed to sort it out, out of my life. I dont think i've ever felt so stupid or hurt in my life. I was basically treated like a piece of shit. like i was nothing. it was obvious to me i really had become nothing to him. just like that. it finally sunk in. As i awaited the call i was positive i wouldnt be recieving, i just decided i had had enough. i couldnt do that to myself anymore, especially for someone who was already moving on the day after leaving "the one". yeah. i fell asleep quickly because it was raining, i had no power, and my phone was quickly losing battery as i whined and cried to kevin.
Friday morning was a disaster. Outside my house of course. trees were everywhere, it was sticky hotttt, and i needed a shower. my mom had power so i drove to her house to shower. I had nothign to do all day anyways since i was just beginning to "have a life". I definetly was not going to the Green Day concert anymore; but atleast theres always a rebound to take my place so that the tickets wont go to waste.i stayed at my moms house for a while and bonded with her and my sister. it was really nice. then i went to titinas house with jackie and we watched cruel intentions and just sat there. After there, i left to meet up with kevin at bradley's house. we sat outside and then just went to his house because he had power. we sat on his bed staring at the wall for like two hours just talking. it was actually not boring. he's such an awesome person.
Saturday i hung out with my mom and went to my aunts house. we were there for a while just bonding, then later i went to my moms, showered, and went to titinas to get ready. We were going to Mansion. I drove all the girls, it was alright. Im not just going to jump into a party girl mood out of nowhere u know. but it was nice to get out. Random kids asking for mine and yvys numbers inviting us to go out clubbing with them. we were the most anti social there but somehow we managed to make friends. hmm. I ended up just going home after, talked to kevin, then slept.
Sunday I went to my aunts house again, sat there for a little, then went to go pick up kevin. We went to blockbuster to rent a movie for my mom and aunt, then back to my aunts. The drive around miami was insane the whole weekend. Almost crashed a million times, almost killed kevin like 3 times. Blockbuster was the worst thing we did. I dont think i ever stop laughing with kevin. He went to go show me how messed up his rearview mirror was and completely ripped it off. It was the funniest moment ever. So after my little sister and cousin attacked kevin for like an hour, we decided to leave. Dropped him off at home, went to my house because we finally got POWER! yayyyy. showered, got ready and went to pick up kristin to go to titinas for the vmas. We were there for a little, then pulled a mission with kristin to get her bk, then back to titinas. After, i took kristin home, then went home.
Monday we had no school again! it was great. woke up early because it was the day my dad was leaving. I wont be seeing him for a really long time, like 6 months. Then i showered and got ready, went to the falls to pick up my check cause we finally opened. Jason asked me to go run a mission for him and pick up food at sunset to bring to the falls. So i did that then back to the falls. Put gas, got red bull and went to pick kristin up. We went and picked yvy up and then off to the beach we went. It was dead but sunny and beautiful water, eventually more people got there but it was like later and i had to go to work at 5 and yvy and kristin wanted kendal ale. Kevin got there and convinced me to go in the water with him for a little. fun stuff. So we headed out and off to kendal ale. Best food in dade. Then i took yvy home and kristin home and changed for work in 2 minutes, and got to work like 10 min late. Work was good it was pretty busy.
Tuesday sucked cause we had to get up and go to school! eeewwww. worst thing ever. I was actually doing really good in school i thought i would be sad seeing nick, but it was really okay. I got to befriend all my old friends again and it was just awesome feeling like i had people there to support me. I had work from 4-9. blabla. Wednesday was the hottest day ever made in school. No AC! i wanted to faint, and was having allergy attacks. totally blowed. After school I went to kevins, then work from 4-9. After work i stopped by kevins house for like 15 minutes, then went home. such a tiring hottt icky day. Thursday I woke up early and took kevin to school. School was like a long day. after school I went to kevins, then round 4 i went home to shower and change. Went to kevins at 6 and me him and rubel went to kfc, then headed to the football game. yay. It was sooo weird being in the stands. i MISS training soo much. being on the field is like nothing else ! We beat southmiami 14-6 fasho. hopefully we do good this year. The game was fun, it was a change. Me and yvy were like sad missing training. Kristin got hurt! i hope everythings okay babe im sorry that u got hurt !!! i love youuuuu ! <3 i wish i couldve put ice on uuu mwahaha. After the game we dropped rubel off then to kevins so i could get my car and go home. was there for a little then off i went.
Katie and i are talking again, i guess i can just forget the lies and drama, because she really needs a friend now and i know how it feels and whatever i just dont care for problems anymore. i guess i should stop getting mad at people or stop ending friendships cause in the end i always forgive and forget. so whats the point of wasting valuable time for unforgettable memories.
Okay sooo here is everything that has been done in the past like week! now let me tell you about my feelings. I cant say i dont think about nick every once in a while, but i know i can do so much better and deserve better. Im really doing okay and havent shed a tear. Its sad but you know, it happens all the time. people just dont love each other forever. ill always love and care for him, but not the same. I really love my friends and everyone is just cool. Im so tired of all the drama that was going on with me and other girls while i was with nick. like half the girls i hated had something to do with him. So im just trying to set priorities and fix problems and be good with friends, cause ive realized friends are really what matter. when i look in retrospect at somethings ive done or said or gotten mad about i just get so mad at how stupid and immature i have been in the past...because when the "lover" who promises to be ur best friend forever leaves your life, youre real friends really stand out. and ive come to realize you have to become friends with someone before being with them because a friendship is the backbone of every relationship. a friendship made before the feelings of love. and thats the only way a relationship can actually work perfectly. and i really think this is the beginning of perfection. <3
THANK U EVERYONE... I LOVE YOU ALL. and im sorry to all those people who i have shut out of my life, been a bitch to, hated, anything bad. i really am sorry. its all so stupid. hopefully one day we can all forgive each other.. and you know who you are.