A little Bronco bashing
Every time I feel the need to bash the Broncos I think I am required to admit that I am an Oakland Raiders fan and that my team hasn't had a meaningful victory in this millenium.
But that doesn't mean I can't hate the Broncos. I hate them because they are the Raiders biggest rival. That is definitely true. But I don't hate the Chiefs or the Chargers in the same way. I really don't. I do need to qualify that by saying that I hate Marty Schottenheimer in the same way that I hate the Broncos and he used to coach the Chiefs and now coaches the Chargers. So to some extent I hate the Chargers the same as I hate the Broncos. But I'll always hate the Broncos. And here's why...
In 1983 the Broncos drafted John Elway... sort of. In 1983 the Baltimore Colts drafted John Elway and he refused to play for them. So the Colts traded John Elway to the Raiders who happened to be suing the NFL at the time and magically somehow the NFL wouldn't allow the trade. Then the Colts traded Elway to the Broncos. I honestly believe that Elway is the greatest quarterback ever.
For the next fifteen years I got to watch the Broncos stink up the field while Elway single-handedly brought them victory. It was flabbergasting to watch a team that really wasn't particularly good be constantly praised as they rode on one great player's coattails and eventually lost the big one. And the reason they lost the big one was always the same. After 16 regular season games and two to three playoff games the other team would finally figure out that if they stopped playing run defense altogether and just ran like mad after Elway they would win by fifty. And that's exactly what happened until the mid nineties when somebody finally said "You know, maybe we should get this Elway feller a damn running back" and two Superbowl victories later that proved to be correct.
Unfortunately this led to Mike Shanahan being labeled "The Mastermind" by the Denver press. Mastermind??? It took nearly fifteen years for someone to actually compliment the greatest passer in the history of football with a running game and that qualifies on the NFL level as a mastermind? Please. Then Elway retired and the mastermind stopped looking so damn smart. He started looking 4-12 kind of smart. And this is the modern Broncos age. They have a killer running game, adequate quarterback play, and a very average defense and somehow they are supposed to be some killer threat to win it all. Every year they go 10-6 now and every year they get their ass handed to them by the first quality opponent they face in the playoffs. The reason I hate them is because this is some kind of fucking surprise.
The Broncos, for me, embody everything that is wrong with football. I love watching football. I really do. But when you see a team with a fucking basket case for a quarterback run a one-gap cutback offense for an entire season and get haled for their brilliance it makes you want to scream. When you see a team buy the entire Cleveland Browns defensive line, drop ten places in defensive ranking, and get haled as geniuses for their brilliant personnel moves it makes me want to take human life.
It was probably ten weeks ago that I complained in this very spot that Denver's defensive line looked super good against the run because everyone assumed they could run on them and therefore Denver expected the run and were cheating the safeties forward to stop the run. I said that any team that would pick them apart with short passes would beat them. The very next week the Giants went out and picked them apart with short passes and beat them. But did the NFL watch the tape of the Giant's game??? Apparently not. Denver went on to a 13-3 record and suddenly they were a big favorite in the playoffs.
I figured the Patriots would kill them. But the Patriots were long overdue to self-destruct and that's exactly what they did. All week at the cigar store people came in and said how Denver looked unstoppable. I said the same thing "Denver blitzes too much and any decent team will pick them apart" which turned out to be true. Somehow in the playoffs the Steelers were able to realize that the runnner always cuts back into the first gap and fill that hole and the defense always blitzes. Duh. That left the game in Jake Plummer's hands and I've often said he's a fucking basket case and if you can get the game in his hands he'll give it away. And that's exactly what he did.
Is this because I am some great football genius? NO!!!! It's because I've actually watched the fucking Broncos play football. That is why I hate them so goddamned much. It isn't a mystery what they are doing. It is all there on tape. I just can't believe we have to get to the playoffs every year before somebody can execute well enough to stop them from doing exactly what they have always done. It is like gravity or any other universal law. The Broncos will overblitz, run the one gap, and their QB is a fucking basket case. Any Marty Schottenheimer coached team will meltdown in a close game because they have no idea how to go for blood (add Tony Dungy to this list). NFL coaches are all as dumb as a box of hair. The Broncos prove it and that is why I hate them.
Don't believe me??? Then how many decades will it take before they stop running the fucking prevent defense? How long will it take before they stop big blitzing on third and long? I swear I'm giving it up next year. I can't take the aggravation.
Go Steelers!
But that doesn't mean I can't hate the Broncos. I hate them because they are the Raiders biggest rival. That is definitely true. But I don't hate the Chiefs or the Chargers in the same way. I really don't. I do need to qualify that by saying that I hate Marty Schottenheimer in the same way that I hate the Broncos and he used to coach the Chiefs and now coaches the Chargers. So to some extent I hate the Chargers the same as I hate the Broncos. But I'll always hate the Broncos. And here's why...
In 1983 the Broncos drafted John Elway... sort of. In 1983 the Baltimore Colts drafted John Elway and he refused to play for them. So the Colts traded John Elway to the Raiders who happened to be suing the NFL at the time and magically somehow the NFL wouldn't allow the trade. Then the Colts traded Elway to the Broncos. I honestly believe that Elway is the greatest quarterback ever.
For the next fifteen years I got to watch the Broncos stink up the field while Elway single-handedly brought them victory. It was flabbergasting to watch a team that really wasn't particularly good be constantly praised as they rode on one great player's coattails and eventually lost the big one. And the reason they lost the big one was always the same. After 16 regular season games and two to three playoff games the other team would finally figure out that if they stopped playing run defense altogether and just ran like mad after Elway they would win by fifty. And that's exactly what happened until the mid nineties when somebody finally said "You know, maybe we should get this Elway feller a damn running back" and two Superbowl victories later that proved to be correct.
Unfortunately this led to Mike Shanahan being labeled "The Mastermind" by the Denver press. Mastermind??? It took nearly fifteen years for someone to actually compliment the greatest passer in the history of football with a running game and that qualifies on the NFL level as a mastermind? Please. Then Elway retired and the mastermind stopped looking so damn smart. He started looking 4-12 kind of smart. And this is the modern Broncos age. They have a killer running game, adequate quarterback play, and a very average defense and somehow they are supposed to be some killer threat to win it all. Every year they go 10-6 now and every year they get their ass handed to them by the first quality opponent they face in the playoffs. The reason I hate them is because this is some kind of fucking surprise.
The Broncos, for me, embody everything that is wrong with football. I love watching football. I really do. But when you see a team with a fucking basket case for a quarterback run a one-gap cutback offense for an entire season and get haled for their brilliance it makes you want to scream. When you see a team buy the entire Cleveland Browns defensive line, drop ten places in defensive ranking, and get haled as geniuses for their brilliant personnel moves it makes me want to take human life.
It was probably ten weeks ago that I complained in this very spot that Denver's defensive line looked super good against the run because everyone assumed they could run on them and therefore Denver expected the run and were cheating the safeties forward to stop the run. I said that any team that would pick them apart with short passes would beat them. The very next week the Giants went out and picked them apart with short passes and beat them. But did the NFL watch the tape of the Giant's game??? Apparently not. Denver went on to a 13-3 record and suddenly they were a big favorite in the playoffs.
I figured the Patriots would kill them. But the Patriots were long overdue to self-destruct and that's exactly what they did. All week at the cigar store people came in and said how Denver looked unstoppable. I said the same thing "Denver blitzes too much and any decent team will pick them apart" which turned out to be true. Somehow in the playoffs the Steelers were able to realize that the runnner always cuts back into the first gap and fill that hole and the defense always blitzes. Duh. That left the game in Jake Plummer's hands and I've often said he's a fucking basket case and if you can get the game in his hands he'll give it away. And that's exactly what he did.
Is this because I am some great football genius? NO!!!! It's because I've actually watched the fucking Broncos play football. That is why I hate them so goddamned much. It isn't a mystery what they are doing. It is all there on tape. I just can't believe we have to get to the playoffs every year before somebody can execute well enough to stop them from doing exactly what they have always done. It is like gravity or any other universal law. The Broncos will overblitz, run the one gap, and their QB is a fucking basket case. Any Marty Schottenheimer coached team will meltdown in a close game because they have no idea how to go for blood (add Tony Dungy to this list). NFL coaches are all as dumb as a box of hair. The Broncos prove it and that is why I hate them.
Don't believe me??? Then how many decades will it take before they stop running the fucking prevent defense? How long will it take before they stop big blitzing on third and long? I swear I'm giving it up next year. I can't take the aggravation.
Go Steelers!