(no subject)
So, I went to Rideau today, and it was pretty pointless. Maybe I'm just really picky, but I find that a lot of the clothes this fall are pretty bland. Except for the jeans, which are very mid-nineties with stupid little flower things stitched onto them (unless whoever happens to read this happens to have a pair, in which case they are absolutely gorgeous). Anyways, that was a superficial into to a rather reflective entry.
Lately I feel as though I'm not living my life to the fullest; like I should be splurging more, being more impetuous, and in general just living more like a first year student. But I like my program, and I need to keep my scholarship, and I suppose that if I put off working hard, in the end crazy drunken nights just won't have been worth it twenty years from now.
It's just that in twenty years, I want to be able to look back and think about how much I lived... not necessarily for better or worse, but I just want to have had experiences, and stories. High school was definitely a rocky time, but I don't regret it. I fucked up, and I did well, and I learned from both good experiences and bad, and I just want the same thing for the rest of my life (but preferrably with a little less bullshit).
I've said this before, but one of the things I find about people is that they spend so much time trying to be how they feel they should be, that they lose sight of who they are. So many people are so vigilant, using an unattainable, generic model of perfection to set a standard for their own personal behaviour. Does everybody do this, or only some people? I don't know.
Anyways, I suppose that's enough for now.
Lately I feel as though I'm not living my life to the fullest; like I should be splurging more, being more impetuous, and in general just living more like a first year student. But I like my program, and I need to keep my scholarship, and I suppose that if I put off working hard, in the end crazy drunken nights just won't have been worth it twenty years from now.
It's just that in twenty years, I want to be able to look back and think about how much I lived... not necessarily for better or worse, but I just want to have had experiences, and stories. High school was definitely a rocky time, but I don't regret it. I fucked up, and I did well, and I learned from both good experiences and bad, and I just want the same thing for the rest of my life (but preferrably with a little less bullshit).
I've said this before, but one of the things I find about people is that they spend so much time trying to be how they feel they should be, that they lose sight of who they are. So many people are so vigilant, using an unattainable, generic model of perfection to set a standard for their own personal behaviour. Does everybody do this, or only some people? I don't know.
Anyways, I suppose that's enough for now.