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[yeorf]

I can't quite decide if I'm too much of a relationship perfectionist or just hopeful. My history makes the idea of a new relationship overwhelming....like being handed an eight pack of crayons, shown the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and told, "This is about what we're looking for. See you in fifty years." I'm so skeptical of everything, but only because my faith in myself is shaky. 19 years of training has left me to believe that stepping up and striking out is far worse than waiting patiently for everyone else to fuck up before quietly sneaking out. Am I a pessimist or a self-preservationist? Maybe just impulsive at first and then forever nervous. The older I get, the more diluted my instincts become.

Make comments. Help me out. I love you all:)