Owl-Kitty Thing [Dorm Stories Oneshot]
Myungyeol, Woogyu; R; comedy
*
Dorm Stories;
Owl-Kitty Thing
“Myungsoo has porn on his laptop.”
Sunggyu looks up from his book, at Woohyun, who closes the door after himself when he enters. He removes his shirt and throws it into his clothes rack without caring where it’ll land.
He fishes a more comfortable shirt from the upper bunk-bed that serves him as his pajamas.
Although really skinny and shorter, Nam Woohyun’s body is well-built and it always strikes Sunggyu in an awe. He tries not to stare and goes back to his book.
“Where is this relevant information coming from?” He flips a page.
“Sungjong told me that Sungyeol got really mad at Myungsoo today, and then he heard the two of them fighting about deleting his porn.”
“I’m still trying to figure out how is this news; Sungjong is gossiping, Myungsoo is a closet pervert, and Sungyeol throws tantrums over nothing.”
Woohyun shrugs. “I’m just wondering what kind of porn does Myungsoo has.” He crawls to his bunk-bed. “He’s probably into sadomasochism. With whips and everything.”
“Or maybe he’s into Milfs.” Sunggyu dumps his book on the stand and looks at the upper bed, where Woohyun is wriggling to get into sheets. He can’t actually see it, but he can feel it by the movements on the bed.
He doesn’t really like this arrangement, since he’s used to talk with Woohyun face to face before bed. Now his voice sounds distant, although he’s just as close as he was in the old dorm.
*
The next morning the both of them go to the grocery store for some shopping, since Dongwoo joins Hoya and Sungjong into doing a few laps in the park. Woohyun is all energetic, jumping between the milk products and the fruits, begging Sunggyu to buy him everything because he’s hungry. They stop to buy ice-cream on the way back, because Woohyun annoys the hell out of him, and dump the leftovers in the nearest trash, all blushing and excited, since they ate ice-cream during promotion time instead of salads.
The house is quiet when they come back, and before Sunggyu can yell at Sungyeol to come and unpack the packages, Woohyun puts a hand on his chest.
He signals him to be quiet by placing a finger on his mouth.
“Quit making such a fuss,” They can’t see their faces, because they’re in their room and the door is almost closed.
“I’m not making a fuss. I have every right to be angry. It’ practically porn, Myungsoo. What if somebody sees it-“ Sungyeol doesn’t sound angry. More like frustrated.
“Oh please, you can’t even make out your own face.”
Woohyun turns to Sunggyu, eyes gleeful and shining with mischief. ‘Your face?’ he mouths to Sunggyu.
“I can’t believe you’re going behind my back and doing stuff like this! Just delete it!”
“I’m going behind your back? I didn’t do a thing. I’m not deleting it, and that’s final.”
Sunggyu rolls his eyes and puts the shopping bags on the floor. “We’re back! Sungyeol, it’s your turn to unpack the groceries!”
Sungyeol embarks from the room a little angry, with his cheeks a little red, and Woohyun looks like he’s up to no good.
*
In the evening, when Sunggyu comes out of the bathroom, Woohyun is sitting on his bed, waiting while skimming through his book.
“What is it?” Sunggyu asks and plops next to him, still drying his hair with his towel.
“I have to see what’s on that laptop.”
“It’s probably something stupid. You know how the kids always get excited over nothing.”
“Remember that time Sungyeol joked he had a sex-tape with his ex-girlfriend?”
Sunggyu stares at him.
“Well, I think he wasn’t joking.”
“Why would Myungsoo have it on his laptop then?”
“Because he’s a perverted weirdo, that’s why.”
Sunggyu shrugs. Last thing he needs is this to spread over the net. It’s not like Sungyeol has the best reputation out of the seven of them, but he doesn’t want titles like; ‘Sungyeol’s hot teenage adventure’ popping all over the search sites, or the nickname ‘Choding’ getting replaced with ‘Infinite’s Porn Star’.
He hopes Sungyeol’s face is blurry, or that Myungsoo will delete it eventually.
“I need to see it!” Woohyun shakes him. “I could barely restrain myself when Myungsoo left his laptop in the living-room while he left to the toilet. I was itching all over!”
Sunggyu purses his lips together and tries to get his hands off his shirt, but Woohyun’s grip is pretty strong. “I’ll die if I won’t see it! I will never be able to live in this dorm knowing I’m under the same roof with Sungyeol’s porn!”
“Alright, alright!” Sunggyu gives in.
He might be strict when it comes down to it, but he always plays favorites with Woohyun. Usually he would’ve opposed and scolded him; the seven of them barely have time of their own, and he encourages whatever privacy they can have. He even set up a ban on touching each other’s phones without permission. But this doesn’t seem like the case.
“But only if the opportunity arises, and without the two of them knowing.”
Woohyun cheers and dances cutely around him before slumping on his pillow. They gossip a little about Hoya’s ears, laughing and hitting each other playfully, and Sunggyu doesn’t want him to go to his bunk-bed so he manages to peep out; “This bunk-bed thing is uncomfortable.”
“You don’t say, Mr. I-sleep-on-the-lower-floor.”
He laughs. “We used to talk a lot in the old dorm,” he explains.
Woohyun smiles and looks down. “Yeah. Now we keep our conversations short because we can’t see each other.”
Sunggyu is relived to hear that it’s mutual, so he looks down as well.
“It’s a pretty big bed,” Woohyun suddenly says. “I can sleep with you... if you’re so lonely without me.”
Needless to say that Sunggyu slaps him with the towel and shoos him back to the upper bunk-bed. He’s never going to discuss this topic with Woohyun again, shameless cheesy bastard his best friend is.
*
On Monday, right after Woohyun and Sunggyu come back from vocal practice, they meet Sungjong and Sungyeol on their out. “Where to?”
“Hyung promised to come buy with me some clothes.” Sungjong tugs on Sungyeol’s sleeve.
“Because you can’t go shopping with me, right?” Woohyun makes an offended remark.
“Because Woohyun-Hyung’s clothes are ugly, and you keep bossing me around.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
They continue to bicker, while Sungyeol turns to Sunggyu; “Dongwoo went jogging with Hoya, so nobody’s home.”
“Why? Where’s Myungsoo?” Sunggyu takes a sip from his water.
“I think he’s still in his drama-set. He should be home any minute.”
They go out and Sunggyu goes to his room to change clothes.
There’s a loud gasp; “Guess who forgot to hide his laptop!”
Sunggyu snickers and goes to find Woohyun, who is already has the thing opened on his lap, as he sits on Dongwoo’s bed, in the room Dongwoo shares with the two visuals.
“How did you even know his password?”
“It’s Sungyeol’s birthday, everybody knows that.” Woohyun rolls his eyes as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“How are you going to even find that video?”
Woohyun searches the word ‘porn’ and ends up empty. He huffs and searches the word ‘Sungyeol’ which results in too many videos and photos.
They don’t have the time to look through it all.
“Just leave it.” It feels like a sin to go through his band-mate’s private files.
“No, there’s this program that can find the last opened folder, or the folder with the most views…” It takes Woohyun a whole ten minutes to download and install it, but when he’s finished he makes a face.
“What the hell, it’s his Ipod camera downloads.” He searches the most viewed file in the folder, and clicks it opened.
It’s Dongwoo, sitting on his bed with duck-tape on his nose.
“Oh my god, you’re hilarious!” Sungyeol is practically dieing with laughter while shaking the camera.
“Did you take the picture?” Dongwoo says after a while in staying in the same pose.
“I think so.” Sungyeol turns it to himself and frowns at the camera. “How do you operate this thing? Where do you check the photos?”
“Why are you even touching his stuff? You know he gets angry when you touch his stuff.”
“I always touch his stuff and he doesn’t say anything to me. Besides, the camera on my phone isn’t working, so this will just have to do.” Now the camera shows the both of them looking curiously on the screen. They make goofy faces and Dongwoo laughter sounds even funnier when it’s on the computer’s loudspeakers.
Sunggyu can’t help but laugh himself; “I swear, those two idiots…”
“Why is this, the most played video?” Woohyun gets angry. “This is not porn!”
The video continues though, Dongwoo leaves the room to grab a bite, and Sungyeol puts the ipad back to it’s place, where it has been leaning on the wall. You can clearly see Sungyeol lying on his belly in his bed, swinging his legs while flipping through some magazine.
Woohyun makes frustrated noises besides Sunggyu. Sunggyu finds it highly entertaining, and Woohyun just simply clicks up until half of the video.
Myungsoo is in the room, dropping his bag on the floor.
Sungyeol is sitting, all perked up that Myungsoo is home; “So how was the shooting?”
“Fine. I’m tired.” Myungsoo walks up to him. You can’t really see his face, because he’s standing, but it’s obviously him because of the clothes and the stance and the voice. It’s weird that he stands before Sungyeol like that. You can clearly see Sungyeol’s face though, who looks up to him expectedly. “How tired?”
Myungsoo’s hand suddenly moves up and caresses Sungyeol’s neck and jaw, until it catches his chin.
Myungsoo leans down and kisses him.
“OH MY GOD.” Woohyun exclaims loudly. Sunggyu pushes his flailing arms out of the screen; Myungsoo gets on top of Sungyeol, they grind and move around, removing clothes and moaning, kissing and touching and eventually, when Sungyeol starts chanting Myungsoo’s name, Sunggyu stops the video.
“We did not watch this.”
“We most definitely didn’t.” Woohyun agrees.
“We never even entered this room.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We were watching a movie about a dog that had sex- I mean wax- I mean-“
“I know what you mean, now put this thing away before somebody comes home!”
Woohyun nods, and then waits for him to leave the room. Sunggyu barely takes a single step out of the room, and hears Woohyun pressing ‘play’ to watch how it ends.
“Yah, Nam Woohyun!!! Stop that video right now! I mean it!”
*
Although Sunggyu hopes to forget it as soon as he can, Woohyun makes sure that he doesn’t.
He has a whole dictionary of words that rhyme with ‘sex’ and clutches onto his hair while yelling; “We have been fooled for all this time!” or even better; “My innocent eyes.”
Sungyeol and Sungjong come back pretty late, and they decide to have dinner all of them together. Sunggyu carefully avoids the topic, and makes sure to not make too much eye contact with anybody.
“You guys are never going to believe what I saw today.”
Sunggyu glares at Woohyun with all his might.
“Did you finally watch that Japanese movie, where they have large boobies?” Hoya asks. Dongwoo almost chokes on his food laughing, and Sungyeol gently strokes his back, not even suspecting a thing.
“No, no, no… nothing of a sort-“
“Woohyun.” Sunggyu warns.
“Me and Sunggyu were watching discovery channel, right?”
“Really? Was the television broken or something?” Sungjong takes another portion of kimchi into his rice bowl.
“No, listen up, it was interesting. At first there was this dinosaur that had duck-tape on his nose.”
“I don’t think there were duck tapes back then…” Hoya dryly comments.
“That’s because Woohyun needs to learn how to shut up before he’ll get in trouble.” Sunggyu warns again, but Woohyun completely ignores him.
“There was also this stupid owl that didn’t know that he was filming the dinosaur on the ipad,”
Sungyeol drops his chopsticks and quickly scampers to get them up on his hand and to pretend that he’s not red from head to toe.
“Somehow I get the feeling this wasn’t on discovery channel,” Sungjong is finally looking all curious.
“And this stupid owl left the ipad opened and then came a black kitty and had sex with the owl.”
Dongwoo laughs because he doesn’t understand the joke. Hoya smiles because he likes how Dongwoo laughs. Sungyeol is avoiding looking up from his plate. Myungsoo continues to eat his food with this blank face until he finally gets it.
“Oh.” He says. “Just so you know, the owl and the kitty have three more sex tapes.”
“Myungsoo!” Sungyeol wails, hiding his face in his hands.
“And that the owl is really good with his tongue.” Wow, Myungsoo is completely shameless with that poker expression on his face.
“Shut the fuck up!”
“Oh, and that at least he’s not following around the clueless hamster like a love-sick bunny.”
“How come I get to be the bunny?” Woohyun suddenly exclaims, and Sunggyu wonder who exactly is the hamster. It’s probably one of them. He looks around the table to guess who looks like a hamster. “Let Sungjong be the bunny!” Woohyun continues.
“You have chubby cheeks, so you’re the bunny. Sungjong has puppy eyes, so he gets to be the puppy.”
“How dare you insult my cheeks?! Why don’t you name your owl a bunny then! Look at his cheeks!”
“How did this stirred to a conversation about my cheeks?!” Sungyeol yells.
“The owl can’t be a bunny. It’s an owl-kitty thing.”
“I’m sorry; I’m not following this discovery channel melodrama, could someone care to explain?” Hoya drops a word. Dongwoo is in his lap, choking from laughter by now.
“Sungyeol and Myungsoo had sex. And Dongwoo is a dinosaur.” Sungjong kindly enough explains while eating his rice.
Sungyeol yells something incoherent and hits Myungsoo before retreating to his room with a slam of a door.
*
When they’re already preparing to bed, Sunggyu glances at Woohyun who’s humming one of their songs while brushing his teeth.
“That was seriously uncalled for,” He says to him. “I feel really bad for Sungyeol. We shouldn’t have watched that video.”
“He’ll be fine. Besides, it’s their fault for keeping this a secret from us. We don’t have any secrets between us.”
It’s the truth though. Sunggyu marvels about how long they kept the secret without anybody knowing. The seven of them are stuck in each other’s butts for 24/7; they know almost everything there is to know about each other.
He continues to fold one of his shirts.
“Hoya doesn’t look like a hamster.” He’s just a little curious, since Woohyun is his best friend and all.
Woohyun flashes him with a smile; “He doesn’t, does he?” Woohyun takes his pocket mirror from his stand and hands it to him. “Here,” he says, and crawls back to his upper bunk-bed.
Sunggyu squints at his reflection.
“You have no shame, do you?” His cheeks are burning and he buries himself under the pillow and blankets.
Woohyun is laughing now, and the bed rattles slightly; “Nope, not even one bit.”
*
This was loosely based on this glorious tumblr post. Bless you namnambunny. Bless you.
It's day 5 since the Chaser came out and I'm still looping it. I'm sitting next to the computer, looking like this zombie-girl-thing and eating nonstop while replaying it, as if I'm on an important quest to understand the meaning of life. I'm starting to think there might be something wrong with me.
After my best friend Marizza (salute to you), have read this story, she had claimed that I would not write something as funny as this ever again. So as a challenge I took the liberality to make this the first piece a part of a series of completely unrelated funny one-shots that the only thing that connects them together is the fact that they are happening in the dorm.
Therefore, they will be called 'Dorm Stories'.
Read here; Night of Broken Hearts, or click on the Dorm Stories tag below if you want more!