Holding on, holding out for me for kurobaa [3/3]
Chanyeol’s like a robot for the next week; sleeping, walking to classes, and feeling nothing at all. He even misses choir practice, just barely remembering at the last second and calling Yixing to fill in for him. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo alternate visiting him to make sure he’s eating and he lets them but doesn’t offer much conversation in return. Baekhyun starts calling him Chanbot in attempts to make him smile or react and it’s not until Kyungsoo calls him it one day that he laughs. It catches him off guard and the way Kyungsoo had casually let it slip but seemed so genuinely hopeful for a reaction made it comical. He chuckles at first and then his shoulders start to shake. Tears form and fall and he doesn’t know whether he’s laughing or crying because he’s suddenly feeling too much all at once.
Kyungsoo hands him tissues and lets him rest his head on his shoulder as he cries and mumbles incoherently. It sucks. It really, really sucks and all he has are questions that nobody but fate can answer. He wishes Minseok could have just dreamt of him. Why couldn’t it have been that simple? They liked each other and the relationship between them was so easy, why couldn’t it be them?
“It hurts, Kyungsoo.” He dully says after the tears have dried up.
“Broken hearts always do.”
“I’m not supposed to have a broken heart. We were supposed to be happy and be together forever.”
Kyungsoo’s heavy sigh makes Chanyeol feel like he’s seven years old. “I know you think soulmate dreams are romantic and the best thing that can happen to someone, but, Chanyeol, you don’t just meet your soulmate and that’s it. Game over. You’ve won. Life still continues and you go through good times and bad times. A soulmate is just someone who will hopefully be by your side through it. There might be this great connection with that person, but you’re still two separate people who have feelings that can get hurt and personalities that can conflict. And just because someday we’ll have dreams and have a soulmate, it doesn’t mean we can’t form connections with other people and feel things for them. I haven’t had my dream, but I have been in love before and you can’t tell me that wasn’t real love just because it wasn’t my soulmate. The heart still beats and flutters around who it wants to. It ended and it hurt, but it was real and I’ve never regretted it.”
Chanyeol pouts and sits up. “I didn’t know you’d been in love before.”
“It was before I knew you guys and, anyway, you’re not my favorite, so you don’t get special all-knowing privileges.”
“Baekhyun does?”
“No, Jongdae actually.”
“Oh.”
Kyungsoo glances over at him. “I know you might not want to do it, but you should probably talk to him soon. He thinks you hate him.”
“I don’t.”
“I know, but he’s not listening to anything we say. He’ll only believe it if it comes from you.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Chanyeol sighs and rests his head back against the couch. “How did you get over your broken heart?”
“One day at a time. Being around friends. Doing things that make me happy. The worst thing you can do is hide away and get depressed over things you can’t control and questions that might never have answers.”
“No more Chanbot then?”
“No more Chanbot.” Kyungsoo kicks his foot in an act of comfort.
His chest feels less heavy.
On Thursday he has choir practice with the kids. He’s a little nervous to see Soomin but she gives him a smile as she walks in and takes her seat without saying anything. Somehow the kids seem to pick up on his low spirits and ask to practice the song he’d written for the Christmas program. It’s upbeat and he’s not sure he feels up to it, but all of them are smiling and nodding in agreement, so he pulls out the sheet music. They’re focused and he doesn’t even need to give them direction because they automatically increase and decrease their volumes at the right times. For the next hour he’s surrounded by their chatter and enthusiasm, and it’s so refreshing that he’s upset when the first parent arrives to pick up their child.
Soomin gives him a tight hug before she leaves and he has a feeling she knows what’s happened when she asks him, “Can you still be my brother?”
“Of course,” He says and ruffles her hair until it’s sticking up and she’s batting his hands away.
His steps are light as he walks home and he hums the song’s melody quietly to himself. That was one thing that made him happy, so maybe Kyungsoo was right. There were a lot of good things that he could focus on, should focus on, that could help hold him together. Once home, he sits down on the couch and looks at his phone, fingers tapping against the back in thought. He’s been talking a lot with Kyungsoo lately and there was one question he asked that has been bothering Chanyeol.
Did you really like Minseok, or did you just like him because you thought he was your soulmate?
It troubles him that he can’t answer it. Yes, he loved being with Minseok and loved talking to him and kissing him, but he’d also wanted to meet his soulmate for so long, and had been so envious of Baekhyun and Yifan, that he can’t deny he might have gone into the relationship with rose-colored glasses on. He wants to be able to answer it though.
He lets his good mood give him strength and opens his conversation window with Jongdae. The timestamp on the last message is two weeks old.
FROM: CHANYEOL
Pizza this weekend?
Baek and Soo will order something with peppers if you don’t come and stop them with me.
Pls save me. ε=ε=(っ*´□`)っ
There, that wasn’t hard. It felt almost normal, save for his shaky hands.
Jongdae’s reply is immediate and makes him smile.
FROM: JONGDAE
Of course! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶
FROM: CHANYEOL
OK. See you guys there.
FROM: JONGDAE
You guys…?
FROM: CHANYEOL
You and Minseok.
FROM: JONGDAE
Are you sure?
FROM: CHANYEOL
Yes.
He’s not, but he has some things he needs to figure out.
Chanyeol only needs ten minutes to realize he’s in love with Minseok.
No matter where he looks or who he’s laughing with, he’s inevitably drawn back to Minseok, quick glances that are done unconsciously and long stares that are interrupted by Kyungsoo elbowing him in the side. He watches Minseok’s hands wrap around his glass and remembers them clutching his backpack and pulling him so close. He watches Minseok bite his lip and remembers how soft it was against his own. He watches Minseok’s eyes frequently meet his and feels the noise around him slow to a quiet hum and then speed up again when he’s pulled out of the stupor (Kyungsoo + elbow).
Minseok frowns whenever their eyes meet though, dropping his attention down to his plate and picking at the pizza crust, tearing it into pieces. Chanyeol hates that frown. It looks tired and unhappy and doesn’t suit Minseok at all. He smiles in Minseok’s direction to hopefully ease the tension, but then Jongdae puts his arm around Minseok and whispers in his ear and Minseok’s responding to Jongdae with a small shake of the head and not looking at Chanyeol at all.
Chanyeol’s stomach twists and he wants to turn the table over onto its side, reach out and pull Minseok back to him. He wants to be the one to make him smile. He wants to be the only one who knows what it’s like to hold him in his arms. He wants to be Minseok’s everything.
Kyungsoo’s hand holds his fidgeting knee down and he leans in to quietly ask, “Are you okay?”
He shakes his head. No, he’s not okay. He’s in love with Minseok and Minseok isn’t his. It’ll never be okay.
Baekhyun shows up late one night while he’s lounging around with his guitar, letting herself in with the spare key he’d given her and sitting down on his couch. She’s wearing one of the hoodies he hasn’t seen her in in a long time, the sleeves covering her hands as she picks at the cushion. She says nothing and he continues playing.
The silence is comfortable and nice, the presence of another person keeping his thoughts from taking over and carrying him to a dark place. He’s spent a lot of time alone with his guitar and piano lately. There’s no real way to put his thoughts into words so he doesn’t try, even though Kyungsoo seems worried about him. But music helps. The sorrowful melodies he plays don’t need any words to explain why they’re sad. They just are.
He makes it through a couple more songs before she sighs, ready to talk. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. There’s been a lot going on and it’s kind of making me be a shitty best friend at the moment.”
“It’s fine. Kyungsoo’s giving me his shoulder to cry on. See how much better life is without you.”
He expects her to smile but she only pulls her knees up to her chest and sniffles. “Yifan got an internship in Hong Kong. It starts in a few weeks.”
He sees the way she’s not looking at him, the way her knuckles are white as she grips her legs tightly. He doesn’t need to ask but does anyway, “Are you going with him?”
She nods hesitantly and glances over at him. “I got accepted to transfer so we’re leaving as soon as the semester ends. He wants to get married when I’m done with school, so this is also a good time for me to learn the language so I can talk to his family. It’s not for forever! The internship is for a really good company and they have branches here. Yifan says there shouldn’t be a problem for him to transfer back here when he finishes.”
“Oh.” Chanyeol says quietly and taps his fingers against the guitar because he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.
“I’m sorry. This is such shitty timing.” He waves her off. “I’ve known for a while now but I felt like telling you would make it all real so I just kept putting it off. I’m scared, Chanyeol. Everything’s changing so fast. Not just to me, but to you and Jongdae, and what if Yifan’s wrong? What if he has to stay there? What if I have to stay there?”
She sniffles again and he sets his guitar aside, moving to sit next to her on the couch. “If that happens, then I’ll move there too. We’ll get lost trying to buy groceries because we suck at learning languages, and we’ll teach your kids kpop songs, and I’ll watch them whenever you and Yifan want to have a weekend alone. And Kyungsoo and Jongdae are never allowed to visit because I want to be the favorite uncle.”
She reaches over and punches him in the arm. “Fuck you, I’m going to cry, okay? And you’re not going to tell anyone about it. This night never happened and you never saw anything!”
He laughs and leans over to put his head on her shoulder as it starts to shake. They fall quiet except for the sniffling and the air feels heavy to him as the conversation sinks its way in. His best friend’s leaving and the person he loves is meant for someone else. This isn’t fair. This isn’t how life was supposed to go. “Baekhyun?” She hums and he feels her head fall against his. “I think I’m in love with Minseok. I’m in love with someone I can’t have and it hurts and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it.”
She pets his hair and says nothing, which is fine since it’s a problem that has no answer. His life seems full of them at the moment.
“Makes it easier to move to Hong Kong if I’m alone, at least.”
“Shut up. That won’t happen. You’re too stupid and hopeless and nice to be alone. I’ll drag everyone in this world to you by their hair if it helps you find someone. Fuck dreams and soulmates. You’ll have someone who loves you.”
He smiles and closes his eyes as they start to sting again with tears. “I’m going to miss you.”
Baekhyun and Yifan leave on a cold day in December. It’s too early for them to do much talking on the way, but they promise to skype often and Baekhyun coerces Chanyeol into mailing care packages as well. He’ll come visit them some time in the summer when school is over and they are settled down in Hong Kong.
“Take care of her, okay?” Chanyeol tells Yifan after a brief hug outside immigration. Baekhyun had already waved goodbye and disappeared around the security partition looking brave and ready to take on the world, but Chanyeol had seen that last gaze thrown over her shoulder and the tremble of her chin.
“It’s funny, because she asked me to tell you the same thing. Are you going to be okay?” Yifan asks, face full of concern, and he pats Chanyeol on the shoulder when he gets a nod. “It’s not for forever, you know? We’ll come back in a year or two.”
Maybe once upon a time he would have believed that, but he’s learned lately that things rarely go as planned. The ride back into the city is long and Chanyeol’s never felt so alone.
No one really knows why they decide to get together for pizza. It’s too quiet, with the occasional topic starting here and there but quickly dying out before long. There’s a big hole on one side of the table and nobody wants to attempt to patch it up. Chanyeol doesn’t even say anything and sits there pushing his straw around in his glass, only opening his mouth for Kyungsoo’s fork and a piece of pizza.
He used to be afraid of being the only person sitting at the table alone, but he hadn’t ever considered that there might not be a table someday, that one by one they would grow apart and go off to do other things and be too busy or live too far apart to meet up. That’s growing up, he supposes, and things would have changed anyway once they all graduate. It’s just unfortunate that his life has hit an abrupt pause and he can actually notice how fast things are changing for his friends.
He feels the weight of Minseok’s eyes on him throughout dinner but he avoids looking anywhere in that direction. It’s too much to handle at the moment and he’s too tired to shuffle through the box of unanswered questions that’s piled up over the weeks. He wants to put a lid on it and shove it deep into a closet somewhere so he can go through it when he’s older and hopefully no longer in love.
When he feels like he’s put in enough time at the table, he pushes his chair back and mumbles his goodbyes. He wraps his scarf around him, nose buried deep, as he steps into the December air and walks back home.
“Chanyeol!”
He’s at his building when he hears his name being called and his feet stop moving on their own, as if they know who is behind him. He turns his head over his shoulder and sees Minseok jogging up to him. His cheeks are rosy from the cold and he’s wearing a knit hat with a fluffy ball on top that bounces when he comes to a stop beside Chanyeol and, fuck, his comatose heart gives a jolt of life at the sight. He fumbles with his keys, thinking that he can’t do this, he can’t feel this, and drops them on the ground.
Minseok picks them up before he can and starts to walk into the building. “Which number is yours?”
“You’re not coming in.”
“Yes I am. Which number? I’ll try them all if I have to.”
Chanyeol curses under his breath and ducks into the stairwell, stomping indignantly all the way up to the first floor and to his door. Minseok doesn’t relinquish the keys and lets himself in first, disappearing inside after removing his shoes and dropping the keys onto the little stand by the door. When Chanyeol follows a moment later, Minseok is sitting on his couch and patting the spot next to him. He hesitates, feeling nervous and afraid because he doesn’t think he can just sit around and talk like friends with Minseok without saying something that will give away his feelings, but sits down anyway.
“Soomin says you skipped practice again the other week and Kyungsoo says you’ve been too quiet lately. Everyone’s worried about you. Including me.”
“I’m fine. Everyone goes through a rough patch at some point and this is mine.”
Minseok nods and looks down at his hands clasped together in his lap. “She thinks I’m stupid.”
“Soomin?”
“Yeah. She said I’m stupid and called the dreams bullshit. Can you believe that? My baby sister swearing.” Chanyeol smiles because he’s heard her curse more than once, but he won’t tell Minseok that. “Do you think she’s right though?”
“About what?”
“Are the dreams bullshit?”
Chanyeol swallows hard. “Minseok, please don’t do this. I’m trying so hard to accept everything. Please don’t make it harder for me.”
He moves to get up but Minseok grabs onto his wrist before he can, pulling him in and wrapping his arms around his neck in a tight hug he can’t escape from. Minseok smells like peppermint and Chanyeol inhales deeply and thinks, I love you, I love you, please love me too. His heart feels so fragile, like cracks have formed all around it and he’s one second away from the pieces falling apart, and as Minseok pulls away, he squeezes his eyes shut and prepares for it to break completely. One second turns into two and then there’s something soft and warm on his eyelids, on his cheeks, pressing gently against his lips. His eyes flutter open with surprise and Minseok is there, looking as lost as Chanyeol feels.
Minseok’s gaze drops down to his lips and his thumb brushes back and forth across them. “I don’t understand why I want you so much.” Minseok leans forward to kiss him again, slowly and softly, and Chanyeol’s breath is stolen away. His heart is racing and he’s sure Minseok can feel it when he presses his palm flat to his chest and pushes Chanyeol back onto the couch, settling his legs on either side of his hips. He’s looking at Chanyeol like he holds all of the answers and Chanyeol wants to tell him how much he loves him but he’s afraid, so afraid. Minseok is with him right now, Minseok has his hand right above Chanyeol’s heart and he’s selfish and doesn’t want to say anything that would make him go away and leave him alone again.
So he cups the back of Minseok’s neck and pulls him down for a kiss and tells him silently that he loves him and only him, kiss after kiss after kiss. He puts his hand on top of Minseok’s, saying, take it, it’s yours and Minseok curls his fingers, as if doing just that. He pulls away and Minseok rests his forehead against Chanyeol’s, eyes closed and breath shaky. One or two tears escape and Chanyeol wipes them away with his thumbs. “It’s okay, Minseok. I’m here. Please don’t cry anymore.”
Minseok turns his head slightly, kissing the palm of Chanyeol’s hand where it was resting on his cheek, and smiles at him in the way that Chanyeol had missed and loved so much. He climbs off the couch, walking backwards to the hallway with a finger pointed at Chanyeol, beckoning for him to follow. There’s a teasing glint in his eyes that has Chanyeol following in less than a second, has him hoisting Minseok up by his thighs and carrying him into his room, has him dropping him onto his bed and kissing him with fervor.
He loses himself in Minseok’s arms, gives him his heart and doesn’t ask for it back.
Chanyeol stretches his arms above his head as he wakes up from the most comfortable and refreshing sleep he’s had in a long time. The crisp morning air feels good. The sheets feel good against his skin. Everything just feels good to him. He opens his eyes a smidge but the morning light is too bright so he quickly closes them again and turns onto his other side, one arm under his pillow and the other splayed in front of him. The sheets are warm and he doesn’t care how early or late in the day it might be. He’s not moving from this spot.
He breathes in deeply and there’s a flutter in his stomach at the smell of peppermint still lingering on his pillow. So nice, he thinks and smiles as he buries his nose further into it, head full of nothing but Minseok, Minseok, Minseok. His skin tingles and his toes curl a bit and he thinks he’s felt this way once before. Except, he hadn’t been awake like he is now. He moves his hand around, searching for another body.
“Minseok?”
The sheets are warm but when he opens his eyes and looks next to him, there’s nobody there. His smile slowly falls and this wasn’t how his dream was supposed to end. He gets up and wraps the sheets around him as he walks into the living room, the kitchen, the entryway. Minseok’s clothes are gone. Minseok’s shoes are gone. Minseok’s gone.
He presses a shaky hand to his mouth and it muffles the sob that comes out as he falls back onto the couch.
Minseok got his answers and Chanyeol got his dream and lost his heart in-between.
Deciding that he had to get away for a while, Chanyeol packs a few clothes and goes to stay with his parents in his childhood home. He tells his mom about Minseok and she holds him as he cries and complains about life being unfair. At night, he sleeps in his old bed and wishes he could go back in time and tell himself to not believe in soulmates. Maybe this wouldn’t hurt so much if he had never believed in his dream in the first place. His mother gives him three days to wallow before she’s forcing him to help her with the household chores and move around.
“Baby, you need to move on. School is going to be over in a few months and you have your Christmas program coming up. You love being up there with the kids. There’s so many good things going for you right now, you need to just focus on those and move on. Didn’t you say you’d been offered the whole choir if you wanted it? Maybe you should take that on. You’ll be too busy to think of Minseok and you’ll be doing something that makes you happy.”
It’s her advice that he’s thinking about days later as he walks down a busy street. There’s only one practice left until the kids’ Christmas program next week and he needs to find some holiday spirit quickly. He feels guilty for not giving the choir his best and burdening Yixing with the missed practices. He wants to show up on Thursday feeling like he’s normal again, leaving all of his troublesome feelings behind when he goes back home. The choir does make him happy, his mom’s right, and conducting is something that he really wants to do.
There’s lights strung up everywhere and more people than usual crowding the sidewalks. It’s cold enough to snow, but hasn’t yet, and everyone is rushing to get things done before it does. Chanyeol’s shivering from walking for so long and there’s a place up ahead where he knows he can get a warm drink. He’s just not sure if it’s a good idea though. He bites his lip as he slowly walks forward. Kyungsoo would call him stupid for this and say he deserves all of the suffering he brings to himself, but Chanyeol can’t help it. It’s a beautiful memory to him and nothing could ever tarnish the fact that he had been happy at the time.
He takes a deep breath and walks in the door to the cafe. It looks the same and feels the same, and Chanyeol loosens his scarf as he walks up to the counter. Luhan’s refilling the straw bins and looks surprised to see him there. Chanyeol gives him a small wave but doesn’t look in his direction again so he’s not forced to make small talk. He just wants to warm up and leave this place with good feelings intact.
Sehun’s at the counter and he’s glad because he doesn’t know his drinks well, but he knows Sehun makes cute latte art so he orders that.
“You have to pay for it, you know?” Sehun says and Chanyeol rolls his eyes, digging into his pocket and pulling out a few bills.
“Was planning on it.”
He takes the buzzer with him to a table near the window and rests his chin on his hand as he stares outside. The street has a different kind of feeling to it during the daytime than it had when he’d walked through it at night with Minseok. It felt slow back then and there weren’t as many lights so it felt more intimate and romantic. The feeling is so fresh in his mind that he wishes he had his guitar with him because he can imagine a soft, bittersweet melody already. He pulls out his phone and types out words, feelings, everything that comes to mind so he can edit them and put them to music later.
His buzzer lights up but as he moves to get off the chair, his latte is set in front of him. It has a pretty heart drawn into it and when he looks up, Minseok is standing at his table.
“How… how did you know I was here?” Chanyeol asks bewilderedly.
“Kyungsoo said you’re a sentimental fool so I might have set people up on Chanyeol Watch.” Minseok grins and gestures over to Luhan and Sehun, who are resting their elbows on the counter and blatantly watching them.
“You shouldn’t have.” Chanyeol pushes away from the table, putting his coat on and wrapping his scarf around his neck. “I don’t know what it is you’re wanting, but I can’t do this. I can’t be friends with you. I can’t even be around you if you’re not mine.”
He walks quickly to the door in long strides, and shoves his hands into his pockets as he turns down the sidewalk. Fuck his sentimental feelings. Fuck Kyungsoo for knowing about them.
“Then I’m yours!”
He pauses and doesn’t want to turn around. Except, he’s always drawn to Minseok and can’t fight the way his body turns on its own.
Minseok stops in front of him and grips the arms of his coat, as if he can prevent Chanyeol from leaving. “I’m yours.” Chanyeol shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak but Minseok interrupts him. “I love you. I love you, Park Chanyeol. Only you.”
“You can’t.”
“I can and I do! I was confused for a long time but I’m not anymore. I’ve been in love with you since I saw you on stage, since you stuffed a stupid brownie in your mouth and made me eat one too, since you went around telling everyone I was your soulmate. I am your soulmate.”
“But Jongdae?”
“Jongdae’s been on five dates since we had our dreams. He makes fun of me for being in love with you and I make fun of him for his horrible taste in men. We’re friends, Chanyeol. We understand each other and have a good time together, but that’s all. Did you know that there are people whose soulmate is their best friend? And I don’t mean like their lover and best friend, but just their best friend only. It was actually Jongdae who found that out the other week. One of his dates was in the same situation, where his soulmate dream led him to his best friend.”
Chanyeol blinks as he tries to process everything. “So, you’re saying you don’t have any feelings for Jongdae? At all?” Minseok makes a face and shakes his head quickly. “And Jongdae doesn’t have any feelings for you either?”
“None. In fact, he keeps trying to get me to hook him up with my friends. Big mistake having him meet them. Thinks he’s a walking Casanova.”
Chanyeol frowns. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s simple. I am your soulmate, Jongdae is my best friend, and I love you.” Minseok’s smiling and swinging his arms back and forth, and he feels like he should be happy too but he’s so confused. The only people he knows with soulmates are in love with them and met them because of their dreams. How could Minseok say all of that confidently? What if he and Jongdae fell in love years from now? He feels his arms stop moving and when he looks at Minseok, the other man looks nervous. “Do… do you love me too?”
“I love you so much, you have no idea.” Saying it out loud is amazing. It’s like he breathed out all of the anxiety and tension in his body with those words, and he feels like he could melt with relief that they’re out there now for Minseok to hear. “What if you someday have feelings for Jongdae though?”
“I won’t. I know you won’t believe me, but I really won’t. Can you let me be yours so I can prove it to you?”
Everything he’s wanted is at his fingertips and Chanyeol barely breathes out a “yes” before Minseok is grabbing his scarf and pulling him down for a kiss. It feels right and somewhere deep inside he believes that they were meant to be together. He runs his hands down Minseok’s arms and pulls back in surprise when he feels cold skin. “Why aren’t you wearing a coat? You’re going to get sick and die before I even get to be with you!”
Minseok laughs and hugs him tight around the middle. “You’ll keep me warm.”
“That’s not enough. You need coffee to warm you up.” Chanyeol turns back to go inside the cafe and freezes when he sees Luhan giving him a thumbs up and Sehun filming them on his phone through the window. “We… we have an audience.”
Minseok gives them a V sign and continues to cling to Chanyeol. “We’ll laugh at this someday.”
FROM: CHANYEOL
MINSEOK LOVES ME AND WE ARE TOGETHER BE HAPPY FOR ME
☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆
FROM: JONGDAE
( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )v
Tell Minseok he owes me and he knows how he can repay me.
FROM: KYUNGSOO
I knew you’d go back to that cafe. You’re hopeless.
Congrats.
FROM: BAEKHYUN
wtf
call me
NOW
“Chanyeol, I’m tired. Can we please go?”
“No, I’m not leaving until it’s at least two in the morning!” Chanyeol plops down on the grassy embankment in defiance. It’s midnight and the lake is deserted and Chanyeol’s waited forever for this.
“God, you’re such a child.” Minseok sits down beside him and hugs his arm tightly. “Only till two. Not a minute longer.”
“I love you~” Chanyeol coos at him and lifts his arm around Minseok’s shoulders, squeezing him tightly and dipping him back onto the grass where he peppers his face with kisses. Minseok’s laughing and batting at him with his hands to stop, which he only does because his elbow is digging into the ground and it kind of hurts. He rolls onto his back and threads their hands together as he looks up at the night sky. Outside the city, the stars are numerous and twinkle brightly, making the moon look even more beautiful as it hovers high above them. “My parents met here and I always wanted to bring my soulmate here. I guess you’ll have to do.”
Minseok digs a nail into the back of his hand and he yelps. “I am your soulmate. You’re the last thing I see before I go to bed, the only thing I dream about, and the first thing I wake up to.”
“My soulmate.” Chanyeol agrees.
EPILOGUE
Five years later
“Goddammit, Jongdae, if we’re late because of you…” Minseok practically growls as he tugs Jongdae past the refreshment table towards the closed concert hall doors.
“Hey, you got free coffee because of me. You should be thanking this handsome face and all its admirers.” Jongdae shrugs his hand off, taking a sip from his to-go cup and strutting through the doors.
Minseok wants to dump his coffee over his best friend’s head (it’s free because he organized the cafe’s set up and gets free coffee there for life; Jongdae was flirting with the barista for no reason really), but refrains because he doesn’t see Chanyeol up on the stage yet and he doesn’t want to get kicked out for causing a scene. Instead, he ignores him and crosses to the other side where their friends are sitting in their usual box. He takes a seat in front, next to Baekhyun who is eating popcorn and has her legs kicked up on the box. Yifan’s sitting behind her with their two year old daughter asleep in his lap and looks like he could fall asleep any second as well. Minseok doesn’t blame him. Most of these performances are the same every time and if he weren’t completely infatuated with the university jazz ensemble’s conductor then he wouldn’t even be here.
Also, the cookie-stuffed brownies are kind of to die for. Kyungsoo refuses to make them for anything but performances (Minseok thinks he just likes telling them no).
“They’re up next, after this song.” Baekhyun whispers to him.
“Ah, thanks.” He says and loosens the scarf around his neck.
The choir on stage finishes after a few more moments and Minseok hides his smile behind his coffee as the jazz ensemble files onto the risers and Chanyeol walks out behind them. He’s wearing the black pants that make his legs look endlessly long and his ass look, well, Minseok really likes those pants. His white button-up has the sleeves rolled up on his forearms and the black vest fits snugly around his waist.
Yes, Minseok is very infatuated with the conductor.
Chanyeol’s come a long way from the enthusiastic youth conductor Minseok had met and fallen in love with. The enthusiasm is still there in the grin he sports as he bows to the audience and turns to his singers, but there’s a maturity and finesse to his movements now as he counts them into the song, arms moving gracefully, one, two, three, four. His songs, as well, have developed into complicated runs and serious lyrics about longing and friendship and, mostly, love. Minseok likes those ones the best, can recall every moment that inspired them.
The concert hall grows quiet after the choir sings the final note for the evening, until Baekhyun whoops and hollers loudly. Minseok has long grown used to it, but he can almost see Chanyeol flinch a bit as he bows to the applause, with the singers following suit. He’s been known to join her occasionally, but his voice is too high and cracks too often, and this crowd is a bit too big to embarrass himself in front of, so he settles for clapping as hard as he can. He sees Chanyeol’s eyes flicker over to their box as the stage is clearing and he gives him a thumbs-up.
Minseok tries to break away to the refreshment table as quickly as he can, leaving the others standing at a spot near the wall after they file out of the concert hall. The trays are always out of order, so he weaves in and out of the line, finally spotting them near a few of Chanyeol’s fellow professors. He smiles and nods politely before ducking around them and grabbing two of Kyungsoo’s cookie-stuffed brownies. At the first performance after Chanyeol had become a music professor, Minseok had been so proud and excited afterwards that he hadn’t thought about brownies or Chanyeol’s reaction to being too late in getting one. There were more people than before that wanted to congratulate him and talk to him afterwards, and it took him longer each time to leave the concert hall. The whines and pouts on the walk back to their apartment were enough to make Minseok rush to the refreshments every time now.
He wanders back to the wall, leaning against it and eating his brownie as he listens to their friends talk. Jongdae’s telling them about their quick coffee trip before they got there. Naturally, he’s embellishing it a bit. Small details suddenly are more important than they really were and Minseok is becoming some sort of an evil character keeping Jongdae apart from his potential true love.
“Seriously, if Minseok hadn’t been giving everyone the boss-eye then I would have gotten a number.” Jongdae turns to him with his arms crossed. “I stepped aside and let you have your happily ever after. Why are you keeping me from mine?”
“I’m keeping you from eternal heartache, you idiot. You have the worst taste in people and then I end up having to hear for weeks about how you were dumped. You’re never going to find love if you keep being with people not interested in it.” Jongdae opens his mouth but Minseok beats him to the punch. “And no, you can’t have my friends. They’re too good for you!”
“Don’t worry. Mei Xing loves you. Don’t you, baby?” Baekhyun holds the two year old out to Jongdae and she shyly gives him a kiss on the cheek. Jongdae visibly melts and takes her into his arms, sticking his tongue out at Minseok over her head.
“There you are!” Chanyeol suddenly appears in front of him and Minseok holds out the brownie for him, but is taken aback when Chanyeol cups the back of his neck instead and leans in for a kiss. It’s sloppy and quick and people are watching, but it leaves Minseok feeling on top of the world. “Oh, you got me a brownie. Thanks! You’re the best!”
“The one who got it is the best, and the one who made it is nothing.” Kyungsoo complains loudly and Chanyeol starts bickering with him like he’s a little child and not a conductor who had just stood in front of five hundred people.
Minseok tunes them out because he’s got Chanyeol’s arm around him and he’s tucked snugly against his side, like he belongs there and nowhere else.
Final author's note:
- Thank you for the lovely prompt. ♥ I love soulmate fics so I was excited to see this one, and I kind of wanted to play with the idea that soulmates can also just mean best friends.
- Thank you mod for the wonderful exchange and extension you gave me. Thanks to my friends for putting up with me, and my coworker who knows nothing about fandom but had to hear me wail about this for the last two months.
- cookie-stuffed brownies.
◄