Cycles Go in Circles
Title: Cycles Go in Circles
Rating: G
Paring/Focus: Changrick (Changjo/Ricky)
Words: 700+
Summary: Jonghyun is the boy who can't breakup and Changhyun is the guy who can't leave.
A/N: An old dropped project.
When Changhyun and Jonghyun are both barely on the cusp of seventeen, they promise each other 'forever,' not understanding the true weight of their words. They are just two love struck teens, whose biggest worries are homework and where their ranking stands on Starcraft. They smile at each other, letting the warmness of the words seep into their naive hearts. Their promise is like a mother's hug, reassuring and special. In retrospect, the words are almost too perfect and the feeling they get when they hear it is almost too serendipitous. And just like their mothers' embrace, they get it whenever they cry out for one.
"I love you," becomes a daily ritual, like prayer in church. They say it so often, Changhyun wonders if Jonghyun means each one. They say the three words before going to bed, after they wake up, when they greet each other, when they part, when there's a pause in their conversations. The phrase helps them patch up the silences and gaps that form more and more often. Changhyun is sure he knows the answer to his inquiries, but it's nice to think about it sometimes. It wouldn't be wishful thinking otherwise.
So they were young and stupid and knew nothing but days where they were together. The foreign feeling of loneliness was an unwelcomed feeling that they readily chased away together. Jonghyun thinks that's where they went wrong. There were only a few rare moments when the two would be separated and even then, they were either texting or calling each other. They danced to the melody of their hushed whispers that connected them over telephone lines.
When the two are conversing together during what might be a date or just another casual outing, they let their thoughts overtake them while the other speaks. Changhyun and Jonghyun both fail to realize that neither of their replies make much sense. While Jonghyun is absentmindedly throwing out words about his dance classes and new choreography, Changhyun is nodding his head and giving input about his latest drawings at school.
They've known each other so long that they finish each other's sentences, only because they find themselves repeating their old conversations over and over again.
"Hey, remember that time where we-"
"went to the beach and found that jellyfish?"
"I-"
"Love you. I know."
Jonghyun likes to think maybe if he had met Changhyun in a different time and place, thing wouldn't be so repetitive already then. He assumes that the feeling of ordinary affects all relationship at some point, though.
But what if he and Changhyun had met after one of his dance showcases, instead? Maybe Jonghyun would still be high off of the euphoria of the stage lights and as he finishes his set and walks off, he'd coincidentally see a boy with brilliant eyes. Perhaps his cheeks would flush a deeper crimson beneath his exhausted face and he'd go off and chase after the crowd member.
Changhyun has the same "what if," except, instead of a dance recital, it's in his own art class. It's one of those special days where his teacher lets him out to sketch the scenery for upcoming projects or take pictures to fuel ideas. He becomes an instant shutterbug and captures everything that draws his attention, and later, when he's going over his film, he'll see Jonghyun. His figure is off to the left side of a tree he photographed, its long branches are shielding him from the sun. Changhyun can tell instantly it's his favorite out out of the dozens. The artist thinks he could draw this stranger forever and ever. This was the muse and charms all his old pieces were missing. The next day, he would go in search for his John Doe turned Cinderella.
Jonghyun is Changhyun's though and he can sketch and paint and have Jonghyun do as many poses as he pleases, but he doesn't. Jonghyun just doesn't sparkle as much as his fantasy persona does. He is not the missing piece or the emotion that would complete his art. He's not the warm receding colors that creates his skies. And neither is Changhyun the music that Jonghyun sways to.
They never share their musings, though, ashamed of themselves for having such feelings as they already have found each other. Besides, as they separately concluded, tediousness strikes all victims of commitment. A new setting would make things more interesting, but only prolong their inevitable.