Observations and Siilliness
Trampolines ... they might be ;great for the 12 and up set, but my neighbors need to wake up to the lawsuit they are inviting! There's a toddler and a preschooler living in the other side of that duplex, no fence. And Saturday, the toddler had been stranded on the trampoline by "big" sister and started wailing. I realize that kids can get hurt even when you are standing right next to them, but there's stupidity on both sides over there.
I have new router, more details later.
Silly stuff from the e-mail files!
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:
Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker .
Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye --- I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts..
Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba--- Denture Queen.
Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
Leslie Gore --- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.
And Last but NOT least:
Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again
One for the girls
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'
Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day !!!
The first testicular guard (Cup) was used in baseball in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1934.
It took 60 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.
This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who fully expect to become seniors:
"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, so that's why no one was at church today."