(no subject)
Title: confession
Author: yellow_shuffle
Beta Reader/Editor: charlotte8888uk
Rating: P-13(?) *i seriously don't know!
Band(s): alice nine.
Pairings: ToraxSaga XDD
Warnings: *made by an amateur
Summary: Every now and then, when alice nine releases a new c.d., they answer questions or make announcements. Tora, who had been suppressing his feelings to Saga, just can't take it anymore and he feels like telling the world just how much he loves Saga. But, what will the press's reaction be when they hear about this? Moreover, what will Saga's reaction be?
Chapter: 1/2 *one shot
Tagline: "The truth will set you free."
Synopsis: " alice nine. has gone so far and is about to reach it's peak and for Tora to just destroy it's reputation because of his not-so-important feelings for his fellow band mate.... "
Disclaimer: I gave Nao a jar of honey and he said: "Take me! I'm yours!" i don't own them.. but soon enough, I will.
Genre: Fluff, Randomness, Awkward Moments! XD
Notes Okay.. so.. this is basically a muse requested suggested by akri21 ... Okay.. i'm gonna tell you now.. if you don't like a very dorky Tora.. don't you dare read this XDDD *don't worry.. he's just dorky and clumsy at the start. XD
part 1
shuffled_world my personal journal "
"Ermm..Yes." Tora replied to the journalist's question. "I do have something to tell."
"Yes?" the journalist asked as he positioned his pen on the his notepad, ready to write down everything the raven-haired guitarist was about to say. Then, Tora looked at the other members of the press, doing what the other journalist did, waiting for his announcement. Same goes for his band members who didn't have a clue what Tora was about to blurt out.
"Ermm..Ano.." Tora's guts were now somewhat spinning inside of him. Darn~ why did he even have to say that he had an announcement to make?! He could have just said "No" like on the 3 previous interviews they've done. Arrrgg~~ it feels like crap is going to burst out from his bottom! What will he say now?! He can't possibly say what he really wants to say and even if he has the courage to do so, it may just ruin the band's reputation and cause alice nine. to break up because of him telling the truth. Moreover, he can't afford to lose, destroy and end the relationship which he had worked so hard for in the last 4 years.
"Ano..eeehhh~" He lowly whispered but the microphone emphasized the sound. Gawd~ What is he going to say?! He could feel his body getting colder and paler, producing cold sweats and his heart beat was racing.
"..Tora shi.." He suddenly heard from a whisper his right side. He quickly glanced at Shou who was calling him, trying to cut the eerie eye-to-eye contact with the press. "..If you're going to tell them about what you feel for him.. Then, I'm gonna tell them what I feel for Pon, too."
Tora chuckled. He never thought that Shou knew how he feels for Saga. Nevertheless, what Shou feels for Hiroto! This is getting more and more complicated! He then, looked back to the press, whose attention, cameras and scoop depended on him. Gawd~~ What to say? What to say?! What to friggin' say.
...
....
Got It!
"Ano.." He said with a trembling voice and an equally frail smile. Here goes nothing!
"I heard that Korn is about to release a new album. So all my fellow Korn followers, save money to buy it soon." He continued as he made a gun-like-gesture in is left hand and shots a few times with it.
The band let out suppressed laughs, so did some of the press. While the others just looked dumb-found at the guitarist's actions.
-----------30 minutes later*rooftop------------
"..way to go Tora.. Now everybody who saw that live interview will know how dorky and lame you are. Great." Tora thought
He gently slipped his pale, long and bruised hand due to the album recordings and various lives to his bulging chest pocket then, he took out a tin-foiled metal box and opened it, displaying an array of assorted cigarettes.
He withdrew a stick of Malboro Lights and placed the filter between his lips and lit the other end as he inhaled through the filters. He puffed out smoke from his nostrils as he recollected what happened before.
"I made a fool out of myself didn't I?" Tora asked himself as he continued smoking, watching the colourful array of lights that stood out from the darkness of the night sky. Tora sighed. "Darn it, Shinji! Of all the things you could have said at that moment, why did you have to say that?!.. ARRRGGGHHH"
"You know.." a voice resounded, which was blown by the cold and bone-chilling winter wind to Tora's ears.. Tora looked back. It's Shou. He watched the vocalist walk closer towards him.
"..you're not that dorky at all, Tora shi." Shou said as he placed his hands to the railings and admired the colorful display of various lights from random buildings up ahead. Tora looked at the man beside him and threw the half-smoked cigarette over his back, not minding where it might land. Tora took in a deep breath of the cold air, shivering.
"You're not.. I mean, you were there, ready to tell every living person in the world that you love our bassist, ready tell the world that...errmm..you know.. anoo.."
"I'm gay?!" Tora chuckled as he took a random cigarette and lit it. He then, placed it between his lips and puffed more smoke. Well, gay isn't the word that Tora is looking for, but at that moment, it's all he has as a cultural and social reason for him to love Saga.
"Well.. yeah.." Shou also said with a chuckle.
Tora made rings from the smoke. "What are you even doing here?"
"Ermmm.. I also live here, remember? We live in the same apartment building. Heck! We even live on the same floor!" Shou said in his normal cheery, yet sophisticated attitude. Tora smirked.
"Tora kun?"
"Hai?"
"Are you gay?"
"What?!" Tora exclaimed with a hurt, offended yet bitter grin on his face.
"No..No..No....Let me rephrase that."
"..okay.."
"You.." Shou pointed to the other, who's eyes were widened and lightly blushing. "Love.." Then, Shou made a heart-shape with his hands. "..Saga chan?.." Then, he pointed to a billboard that has a photo of them. Gawd~ they're really known around Japan, huh?
Tora looked at the billboard and shook his head in disbelief at his best friend's actions. He then, lightly spanked Shou's hand and made a face.
"I'm not deaf, mute or autistic, Shou!" Tora practically yelled. "And yes, I love him." Then, he looked back to the scenery that awe-struck many and blushed a little in recollecting the things he just said as he smoked his lungs of the anxiety and nervousness of what Shou's reaction will be.
"Thank God! I thought I was the only one who likes a fellow bandmate." Shou exclaimed as he turned around from where Tora was looking and arched his back, pressed his elbows onto the rusted railings and looked up to the stars above. "Moreover, like another man!"
Tora then, glanced at Shou, whose egoistic face seemed to be wandering off somewhere. "What do you mean?"
Shou turned his face to Tora and smiled."Hiroto ga daisuki desu."
"..i'm gonna tell them what I feel for Pon, too.." The words that Shou said earlier seemingly played back in his ears.
"You.. like Pon?.." Tora asked in a chastely manner.
"No..silly.. Love is very different than Like" Shou said in a girly tone. Weird~ "Actually.. When I thought you were about to tell the press that you love Saga, I was also kinda gonna tell them that I love Pon, too... But you didn't... you too were afraid that society will discriminate against you, that your family will disown you, that our band will split up and people will hate you.."
"Shou!!!" Tora yelled, who's face is now red from guilt of what Shou was saying.
"Yes, Tora shi?" The other asked calmly and lovingly.
"You're not helping, Shou!"
"Oh~ Sorry...it's just that.. I'm kinda afraid that if I tell my feelings to Hiroto.. He'll just hate me.. there are just one too many consequences that face me if I tell him.. and even if he accepts me and my feelings.. more consequences will just make their way into our relationship. I can't afford to lose a friend."
Tora sighed then looked up at the sky filled with sparkling stars that reminds him of Saga's eyes. Shou's right. Even if Saga accepts his feelings, they'll have a lot of ugly coming their way. Besides, alice nine. has gone so far and is about to reach it's peak and for Tora to just destroy it's reputation because of his not-so-important feelings for his fellow band mate....
Tora sighed. "..I guess my feelings can wait.. well, they already did for the last 4 years.. another 4 won't hurt, right? Shou kun?" He asked and continued smoking, waiting for the other's reply. After 30 seconds..
"Oi~Shou!" Tora exclaimed as he lightly pushed Shou and made him sway. "Were you even listening to me?"
"Shhh~ shut up.." Shou practically whispered without turning to his friend as he looked down form the 6-floored apartment building. "Look."
Tora, annoyed with his friend's response, inquisitively looked down onto the busy Ebisu-ku streets. People's heads were sprinkled with small snow flakes,teenagers carrying paper bags that seemed to be from Shibuya and neon lights, lighting up the sky were all that Tora could see.
"What's wrong with this scene, Shou kun?" Tora asked as he kept on observing the crowd below him.
"There." Shou pointed towards the street across from their apartment.
"What? The Ramen Shop?" Tora asked mockingly. "If you're hungry, I still have some of that Tonkatsu that Kai gave us."
"No, Baka!" Shou slapped the back of Tora's head. "Not the friggin' ramen shop darn it! Look at the coffee shop."
Tora immediately turned his gaze to the coffee shop in front of their building and saw Saga with an ominous figure inside the shop, standing up from the round where 2 cups of coffee were. He watched them go out of the cafe and walk away. He unconsciously dropped his cigarette onto the railing.
Tora felt weak at the knees. Then he trembled and fell bottom first, to the snow covered concrete floor with his back on the railings. What the fuck was that?! Who the fuck was that guy?! Why was he with Saga?! His Saga! And how come he doesn't know anything about that guy?! How come even Shou doesn't know anything about him?! How come he only knew that Saga was going out with another guy now?! Wait! Maybe this was the first time they went out! Gawd~ How in the world can Tora tell Saga what he feels for him now, if Saga is already going out with another guy?
"Come on.. let's get inside.. it's already cold.." Shou said as he took out his phone and pressed a button, walking towards the door, trying to escape the eerie ambiance. He pulled the handle and looked at Tora, who's eyes were as dull as a rainy sky, with pools of tears ready to be shed when he closed the door. Shou couldn't take it anymore, he had never seen Tora so vulnerable and weak. Guess love's really the thing that gives Tora strength, huh?
Shou closed the door very gently. But before he did, he told Tora: "Guess you should have told him earlier."
Tora couldn't bring himself to say that Shou wasn't helping, because Shou was right. Maybe he should have told Saga about what he was feeling because even if he was rejected, at least he would have known in his heart that he did everything to make Saga understand. But now, it's all too late. There will be no other way he can tell Saga. Suddenly, his phone rang. He wanted to throw it away or stamp on it until it stopped, but the ringtone that was playing was a customised ringtone Nao had selected so Tora would immediately know that it was him.
He took out his phone and flipped it open.
"What?!"
"Don't be so grumpy. We have another set of interviews tomorrow...and.. I'd also want yo-"
Tora withdrew the phone from his ear. Interviews.. of course! He could use that again, not to humiliate himself, but to tell the world just how much Saga meant to him.
He then brought back the phone to his ear. Hearing Nao saying:
"-ext time, when you're gonna make announcements, let me know. I also wanna make a few announcements myself, okay?"
"Okay, how about I tell you now. I'm gonna tell the whole world how I love Saga."
"I know."
"You do?"
"Well, I'm not the band leader for nothing, hai?"
"Hai."
"Well, I'll tell mine, too. Ja!"
Tora then, closed his phone.
"Im gonna tell him. No matter what. I don't care if the world will turn it's back on me. I don't. All I care about is that he knows about my feelings for him. That's all there is." Tora thought as he got up and slipped his phone into his pocket and his box of cigarettes into his chest pocket. "Tommorow.. I can't wait."
yay~ 2nd fanfic! XDDD well.. i think i'm gonna update soon on this so I can finish my epilogues XDDD
yes... I know.. the story is kinda lame.. especially the whole point that this revolves on Tora too much.. I'll try to improve in chapter 2 XD.. i'll do part 2 right now?~ XDD
comment and criticism are more than welcome on my world XDD
shuffled_world my personal journal