I hate boys... I'm done
Why are boys so fucking complicated? I love Joshy but the way he's acting right now is really pissing me off. He has come to the conclusion that no school in Georgia will accept him so he wants to go to Chicago. I just honestly don't understand why he can't go to a 2 year school and then get into an art program in a year. I will support whatever decision he makes but I would prefer him go to school at least some what close to me. I understand that he has to do what's best for him and I want him to be successful. I know that if he goes to school far away from me it will be better for us in the long run but I'm going to hate every second of it. I want to be close to him and I want things to work out.
The other night Lizzie asked me about the moving situation. She said that they were not moving here. I asked Josh about it and he fucking freaked out. He was pissed off that he wasn't the one to tell us. I was pissed off because he was waiting until he had made a decision on a school to even mention to Lizzie that he was looking for schools outside of Georgia and that he was probably not moving here. So we are both a little pissed and then he starts getting an attitude and being really bitchy. Fine... he's in a bad mood just leave him alone. Well I guess when Josh is in a bad mood he wants to be left alone completely. That's not okay with me. It's not okay to ignore me. I sent him an IM this morning and he ignored it, I sent him two text messages that he ignored and I called his cell phone and he did not answer. I didn't do a damn thing and he has no reason to be upset with me. When I was having a mental breakdown he freaked out and didn't handle it well and now he's not handling this very well. When I'm upset he is the person I want to talk to so why is that he is pushing me away? He's going to push me so far away that I may not be able to come back. I want to be the person that makes his day better and I'm not. Instead of giving me the chance to cheer him up he just cuts me off. That's bullshit. I can get over the fact that he is not yet comfortable with me and that he doesn't want to talk to me about it but I can not get over the fact that everytime he gets upset he is going to pretend like Jess does not exist. That is not cool. I wish someone would tell all the boys in the world that the way to a girls heart is not by being an asshole. He told me when I was suicidal that he didn't like the way I was dealing with things and I'm telling him now that I don't like that way he's dealing with this. I don't know what to do with him. I have done all I can... I guess it's up to him. This was going to be the best thing that ever happened to us... so why do I feel like it's all fucked up?
The other night Lizzie asked me about the moving situation. She said that they were not moving here. I asked Josh about it and he fucking freaked out. He was pissed off that he wasn't the one to tell us. I was pissed off because he was waiting until he had made a decision on a school to even mention to Lizzie that he was looking for schools outside of Georgia and that he was probably not moving here. So we are both a little pissed and then he starts getting an attitude and being really bitchy. Fine... he's in a bad mood just leave him alone. Well I guess when Josh is in a bad mood he wants to be left alone completely. That's not okay with me. It's not okay to ignore me. I sent him an IM this morning and he ignored it, I sent him two text messages that he ignored and I called his cell phone and he did not answer. I didn't do a damn thing and he has no reason to be upset with me. When I was having a mental breakdown he freaked out and didn't handle it well and now he's not handling this very well. When I'm upset he is the person I want to talk to so why is that he is pushing me away? He's going to push me so far away that I may not be able to come back. I want to be the person that makes his day better and I'm not. Instead of giving me the chance to cheer him up he just cuts me off. That's bullshit. I can get over the fact that he is not yet comfortable with me and that he doesn't want to talk to me about it but I can not get over the fact that everytime he gets upset he is going to pretend like Jess does not exist. That is not cool. I wish someone would tell all the boys in the world that the way to a girls heart is not by being an asshole. He told me when I was suicidal that he didn't like the way I was dealing with things and I'm telling him now that I don't like that way he's dealing with this. I don't know what to do with him. I have done all I can... I guess it's up to him. This was going to be the best thing that ever happened to us... so why do I feel like it's all fucked up?