Sunlight, Facial Tics, and my Mental Health Comedy
When I said awhile back that my cube at work had moved yet again (and I laughed about our housekeeper saying they keep moving me closer to the door), did I mention that I have one of the best "views" in the company? Yeah, yeah, but did I also mention that I get bathed in sunlight at all hours of the day? My window is practically due south, and I have two desks on opposite "walls" for when I need to get out of the direct sunbeam. Most of the time I sit, feet propped up on the windowsill, bathed in sunlight, computer screen shadowed. Walking down the hall toward my cube, there I am, silhouetted in the window with my halo of light. Without even knowing what they were doing, this company gave me the best possible thing for my mental health--sunlight. Shhh ... we don't want them taking it away.
And speaking of mental health, I started doing some research a few nights ago on the exact medications I was taking--the ones my mother gave me. That old anti-depressant that works so well for me? The one that is barely prescribed anymore because they only manufacture it two times a year? Um, yeah, well that's actually an antipsychotic (no wonder I feel like it works so well!) and it has some pretty severe but rare side effects. Yeah, apparently, one of those is an extreme facial tic syndrome. But get this. With most antipsychotic/antidepressants, if you stop taking the medication, the facial tics go away. Not so with this stuff. Once your face starts twitching, it will never stop!! Now I did say before that if I had to take a little blue pill every day of my life to avoid "losing" an entire Saturday in catatonic depression, that would be worth it. But if you add lifelong facial tics to the equation, I'll give up a Saturday once or twice a year.
On top of that, I checked out the other other antidepressant she gave me to try, and I found out that combining the two comes with a capitalized red warning: USE EXTREME CAUTION. SEIZURES LIKELY. I asked my mother last night if she was trying to kill me by giving me that stuff together, and she said it's what her doctor prescribes! It makes combining controlled narcotics with alcohol seem mild in my opinion!
So now the real question is whether or not my swearing off of Asencin is too late. What if I already have facial tics? What if I become obssessed with the possibility of facial tics? So obssessed that I become extremely paranoid about it, staring in front of the mirror for hours upon hours waiting for a twitch? And then disassociate from my own self reflected back at me? Become psychotic? End up back on the same anti-pscyhotic medication that could cause the tics in the first place!! Well, then, I'd just have to find a bottle of Darvocet and a six pack of Pale Ales.
(Are you sure my face isn't twitching?)
And speaking of mental health, I started doing some research a few nights ago on the exact medications I was taking--the ones my mother gave me. That old anti-depressant that works so well for me? The one that is barely prescribed anymore because they only manufacture it two times a year? Um, yeah, well that's actually an antipsychotic (no wonder I feel like it works so well!) and it has some pretty severe but rare side effects. Yeah, apparently, one of those is an extreme facial tic syndrome. But get this. With most antipsychotic/antidepressants, if you stop taking the medication, the facial tics go away. Not so with this stuff. Once your face starts twitching, it will never stop!! Now I did say before that if I had to take a little blue pill every day of my life to avoid "losing" an entire Saturday in catatonic depression, that would be worth it. But if you add lifelong facial tics to the equation, I'll give up a Saturday once or twice a year.
On top of that, I checked out the other other antidepressant she gave me to try, and I found out that combining the two comes with a capitalized red warning: USE EXTREME CAUTION. SEIZURES LIKELY. I asked my mother last night if she was trying to kill me by giving me that stuff together, and she said it's what her doctor prescribes! It makes combining controlled narcotics with alcohol seem mild in my opinion!
So now the real question is whether or not my swearing off of Asencin is too late. What if I already have facial tics? What if I become obssessed with the possibility of facial tics? So obssessed that I become extremely paranoid about it, staring in front of the mirror for hours upon hours waiting for a twitch? And then disassociate from my own self reflected back at me? Become psychotic? End up back on the same anti-pscyhotic medication that could cause the tics in the first place!! Well, then, I'd just have to find a bottle of Darvocet and a six pack of Pale Ales.
(Are you sure my face isn't twitching?)