Heartbreaking....
I intended on Posting about my Grandmother last week but the steam ran out of my sails.
The short version is two weeks ago, she fell AGAIN. This time she fractured her pelvis. She's now in rehab and will be there until the beginning of January. What further complicates this, she at this point has limited vision, as well as advanced dementia, and my 92 year old grandfather has been her primary caregiver although he's not physically able to do a lot. He has been taking this on and not letting the family know how bad it really is.
Today I went with Mike and Nechama to visit, as I was hesitant to go, as well as I didn't really want to take her by myself to a 'strange' place. At least this way when she needed to move around a bit Mike could walk with her while I sat and talked with my grandparents. It also helped we brought the ipad as my grandfather is really into technology and had been talking to me a few months back about purchasing a tablet for himself. REALLY.
My grandfather has always had a short temper, but has mellowed in his old age. However, understandably my grandmother tests him, as she is not nice to him. I understand it's the dementia, but I understand it's also frustrating to not snip back when you feel attacked.
Tonite he emailed me and said:
IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS,SHE REALLY DOES NOT KNOW WHAT SHE IS SAYING.
BUT I STILL LOVE HER AND I WILL BE WITH HER AS LONG AS I CAN
Which had me crying for a bit.
My response back to him:
Grandpa,
I know things are not easy. I know she really has no clue what she's saying a lot of the time, but she did say something profound today admist her being hurtful and nasty towards you. She said you never say 'Leah I love you' not that you're effusive with your emotions, rather demonstrative in your actions.
I love you both. I'm glad we were able to see you both. I admire your commitment to Grandma after all these years despite the hurtful things she says at times.
Abigail
The short version is two weeks ago, she fell AGAIN. This time she fractured her pelvis. She's now in rehab and will be there until the beginning of January. What further complicates this, she at this point has limited vision, as well as advanced dementia, and my 92 year old grandfather has been her primary caregiver although he's not physically able to do a lot. He has been taking this on and not letting the family know how bad it really is.
Today I went with Mike and Nechama to visit, as I was hesitant to go, as well as I didn't really want to take her by myself to a 'strange' place. At least this way when she needed to move around a bit Mike could walk with her while I sat and talked with my grandparents. It also helped we brought the ipad as my grandfather is really into technology and had been talking to me a few months back about purchasing a tablet for himself. REALLY.
My grandfather has always had a short temper, but has mellowed in his old age. However, understandably my grandmother tests him, as she is not nice to him. I understand it's the dementia, but I understand it's also frustrating to not snip back when you feel attacked.
Tonite he emailed me and said:
IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS,SHE REALLY DOES NOT KNOW WHAT SHE IS SAYING.
BUT I STILL LOVE HER AND I WILL BE WITH HER AS LONG AS I CAN
Which had me crying for a bit.
My response back to him:
Grandpa,
I know things are not easy. I know she really has no clue what she's saying a lot of the time, but she did say something profound today admist her being hurtful and nasty towards you. She said you never say 'Leah I love you' not that you're effusive with your emotions, rather demonstrative in your actions.
I love you both. I'm glad we were able to see you both. I admire your commitment to Grandma after all these years despite the hurtful things she says at times.
Abigail