(no subject)
Clearly I suck at lj!!!
I read constantly wishing people would update more often. And yet I haven't updated in almost two months.
I have various posts I'd like to make about our mini vacation, my concerns of Nechama going to preschool, crap I'm dealing with in my head. The usual.
Tonite I need to talk about the day I just experienced and put it out into the universe since I can't really discuss it with anyone at great legnths right now, as we're all processing this stuff in our own way.
So in March my father in law was diagnosed with having lymphoma for he SECOND time. MY fil and mil have been adament they don't want anyone in the house. They don't want anyone to possibly bring germs in as my fil immune system is completely shot. He had a stem cell transplant May/June and he finally came home from the hospital the middle to end of July.
This morning my husband receives a call from his mother, his dad is back in the hospital and has pneumonia. Apparently we should come visit, NOW THEY WANT US TO VISIT?
Then it turns out he's on a ventiallator, has pneumonia, and another REALLY bad infection starting with a C, he's sedated and they're not even giving him nourishment until he's stabalized. So he's in a MICU ward (Medical Intensive Care Unit) in isolation.
So we shlepped out to the hospital today the three of us. I had no intention of bringing Nechama into the room or ward. But I couldn't let Mike go by himself, and I had no where to leave Nechama. (In hindsight we got out of the house so quickly, I did have options but it didn't even dawn on me at the time.)
We ended up all going into the hospital together. There were benches right outside of the closed unit in the hallway, that I camped out with Nechama bh for an ipad, full legnth you tube episodes and the hospital wifi. Mike went into see his Dad and the rest of his family.
He came out after about a half hour and sent me in. He warned me that his dad 'didn't look so good.' That's an understatement. I was in the room about a half hour. After about that time the nurse kicked us all out to turn him and I guess clean him up. While kicking us said that when we leave the room after removing the 'gowns' and gloves we need to scrub with soap and water. Apparently the infection he has is that BAD.
So I then encouraged my MIL and SIL to come out into the hall to see Nechama. MY MIL is in rough shape understandably. I really feel for her. I even said when we were in the hallway that we've tried to respect their request not to visit due to the risk of infection, but I feel badly that my fil has deterioated so quickly. I also said I didn't expect his condition to be SO SEVERE as this was all REALLY SUDDEN.
Amidst the conversation with my mother in law. She was recounting her notes from the conversation with the doctor earlier this morning. Something she said that my husband can't even fathom was that 'sooner rather than later.' Obviously we'll cross that bridge when we cross it.
But Mike didn't understand something I was trying to communicate. Typically in Judaism we pray for one to heal and to recover. I at times wonder is it better to pray for one to continue living, while suffering in pain or to pray for the pain to end and in turn praying instead for their life their demise?
I have no clue if any of this makes sense. I'm on edge, and feel pretty stuck because the long term situation doesn't look good. MY fil REALLY LOOKS BAD. Not just he's intubated and sedated, he was even having limited muscle movements, if that makes sense.
I read constantly wishing people would update more often. And yet I haven't updated in almost two months.
I have various posts I'd like to make about our mini vacation, my concerns of Nechama going to preschool, crap I'm dealing with in my head. The usual.
Tonite I need to talk about the day I just experienced and put it out into the universe since I can't really discuss it with anyone at great legnths right now, as we're all processing this stuff in our own way.
So in March my father in law was diagnosed with having lymphoma for he SECOND time. MY fil and mil have been adament they don't want anyone in the house. They don't want anyone to possibly bring germs in as my fil immune system is completely shot. He had a stem cell transplant May/June and he finally came home from the hospital the middle to end of July.
This morning my husband receives a call from his mother, his dad is back in the hospital and has pneumonia. Apparently we should come visit, NOW THEY WANT US TO VISIT?
Then it turns out he's on a ventiallator, has pneumonia, and another REALLY bad infection starting with a C, he's sedated and they're not even giving him nourishment until he's stabalized. So he's in a MICU ward (Medical Intensive Care Unit) in isolation.
So we shlepped out to the hospital today the three of us. I had no intention of bringing Nechama into the room or ward. But I couldn't let Mike go by himself, and I had no where to leave Nechama. (In hindsight we got out of the house so quickly, I did have options but it didn't even dawn on me at the time.)
We ended up all going into the hospital together. There were benches right outside of the closed unit in the hallway, that I camped out with Nechama bh for an ipad, full legnth you tube episodes and the hospital wifi. Mike went into see his Dad and the rest of his family.
He came out after about a half hour and sent me in. He warned me that his dad 'didn't look so good.' That's an understatement. I was in the room about a half hour. After about that time the nurse kicked us all out to turn him and I guess clean him up. While kicking us said that when we leave the room after removing the 'gowns' and gloves we need to scrub with soap and water. Apparently the infection he has is that BAD.
So I then encouraged my MIL and SIL to come out into the hall to see Nechama. MY MIL is in rough shape understandably. I really feel for her. I even said when we were in the hallway that we've tried to respect their request not to visit due to the risk of infection, but I feel badly that my fil has deterioated so quickly. I also said I didn't expect his condition to be SO SEVERE as this was all REALLY SUDDEN.
Amidst the conversation with my mother in law. She was recounting her notes from the conversation with the doctor earlier this morning. Something she said that my husband can't even fathom was that 'sooner rather than later.' Obviously we'll cross that bridge when we cross it.
But Mike didn't understand something I was trying to communicate. Typically in Judaism we pray for one to heal and to recover. I at times wonder is it better to pray for one to continue living, while suffering in pain or to pray for the pain to end and in turn praying instead for their life their demise?
I have no clue if any of this makes sense. I'm on edge, and feel pretty stuck because the long term situation doesn't look good. MY fil REALLY LOOKS BAD. Not just he's intubated and sedated, he was even having limited muscle movements, if that makes sense.