ttc Post
I've been formulating this post in my head for a few days, whether good or bad. I know for myself I need to post it, however I wasn't sure if others actually needed or wanted to hear my pity party.
Obviously, we're in some stage of TTC. And while I feel strange I spend so much time on my cycle so be it.
Additionally, the past few days have been a whirlwind of stuff that I can't begin to process. Not in my personal life, but more community and media related.
Beause I'm mildly crazy in regards to ttc I have three apps on my phone to track my cycle, sort of more so to track my periods, and give me a ballpark estimate of when to anticipate my period.
App one predicted Monday July 4
App two said Tuesday July 5
App three said wednesday July 6
So I was wearing a liner those days 'just in case'. By wednesdayI was starting to hope, Wednesday was day 32.
I was starting to get excited in a subdue way, but thinking just maybe.
I knew that I couldn't pee test until, like monday the earliest. Ie I know I got a positive test with Nechama on day 37. It was more of so I didn't go through ten tests in one day.
Thursday, no period. Friday, no period. I was feeling nausesous and tired. And hopefull.
Shabbos morning I wake up, and seem to be spotting. I don't spot. I tend to bleed and bleed heavy. saturday for those playing along is day 35. So on day 35 I got my period.
to be honest, I was upset and disapointed in my body. I don't expect pity. I know there are far bigger problems in the world.
I do have a beautiful healthy child, that I am so greatful for. But sometimes I can't help but wonder 'what's wrong with my body?'
And Mike was less than sympathetic. i don't think he understands how devastating it as a woman. It's also soo hard because my hormones are completely out of wack when I have my period. I'd probably be diagnosed with PMDD. I grew up having horrible ranges of emotions as a teen, and my mom understood.
Obviously, we're in some stage of TTC. And while I feel strange I spend so much time on my cycle so be it.
Additionally, the past few days have been a whirlwind of stuff that I can't begin to process. Not in my personal life, but more community and media related.
Beause I'm mildly crazy in regards to ttc I have three apps on my phone to track my cycle, sort of more so to track my periods, and give me a ballpark estimate of when to anticipate my period.
App one predicted Monday July 4
App two said Tuesday July 5
App three said wednesday July 6
So I was wearing a liner those days 'just in case'. By wednesdayI was starting to hope, Wednesday was day 32.
I was starting to get excited in a subdue way, but thinking just maybe.
I knew that I couldn't pee test until, like monday the earliest. Ie I know I got a positive test with Nechama on day 37. It was more of so I didn't go through ten tests in one day.
Thursday, no period. Friday, no period. I was feeling nausesous and tired. And hopefull.
Shabbos morning I wake up, and seem to be spotting. I don't spot. I tend to bleed and bleed heavy. saturday for those playing along is day 35. So on day 35 I got my period.
to be honest, I was upset and disapointed in my body. I don't expect pity. I know there are far bigger problems in the world.
I do have a beautiful healthy child, that I am so greatful for. But sometimes I can't help but wonder 'what's wrong with my body?'
And Mike was less than sympathetic. i don't think he understands how devastating it as a woman. It's also soo hard because my hormones are completely out of wack when I have my period. I'd probably be diagnosed with PMDD. I grew up having horrible ranges of emotions as a teen, and my mom understood.