Processing and trying not to sound like an entitled brat

[yeishlitikvah]

There are a couple  things recently going on with my dad's gf.

One
On xmas we went over to Shari's house for a few hours, just to  get together. WHile we were there it occured to me, that my dad and her kids are referring to her as Nikki's grandma. Which was really weird.

Later that nite I found myself crying about it. I don't begrudge her being

Comments

[mindycl]

I was about to write that I'm disturbed that she's moving in because it's halachically wrong. Then I read that your father isn't Jewish? Then it's not a problem. Wow there's so much i dont know about you :). On the pic of them together it looked like he was wearing a kippah, and her name sounds Jewish. So I got all confused. Wow. Your life is a soap opera :D

[yeishlitikvah]

My dad isn't Jewish. Shari is Jewish. His last gf was Jewish.

It's a very funny/weird thing that my dad not being Jewish has been a huge struggle for me, both being frum and even as a secular Jew in the Reform/Conservative movement as a kid/teenager.

Then again I'm the nut who suggested to Shari when she was going through her divorce to also obtain a get. Ironically enough her divorce lawyer, who my dad also used, is an Orthodox Jew, who was more amused that the suggestion even came up.

In terms of halachically being permissable or not, my Chabad Rebbeztein admist my Kallah learning(she's an awesome friend of mine) told me that I have to let my dad live his own life, otherwise he won't be happy and it will cvs ruin my relationship with him as I try to control his life.

[mindycl]

well since your father isnt Jewish these halachas dont apply to him. as for shari, well shacking up with a non jew isnt quite halachically correct, but she isnt religious, so....

yeah ther's really no reason to oppose what he does, it's his life.

[teacup9]

I am always asking my rav and the chabad rav near my parents questions too and for the most part it's kivud av'b'aim to not disprove of their lifestyle in an anti shalom bias way. It is more about making sure you aren't eating food bought by a Jew on Shabbos and that they aren't inadvertently doing other melachos for your benefit. I'm glad because I hate implying that I am telling my parents what to do because technically I am the one that changed, not them, and they accepted me with open arms so I feel they deserve the same support....to a degree.

[yeishlitikvah]

I'm glad because I hate implying that I am telling my parents what to do because technically I am the one that changed, not them, and they accepted me with open arms so I feel they deserve the same support....to a degree

I have this with my mom's family.

We also have this with Mike's mom, for a while didn't understand not why she wasn't frum but why she wasn't willing to at least 'try', when she owed him no answer not as the child, but that she never 'changed'. MIL will also buy things over yun tiv, ie orange juice etc and mike doesn't think twice grr.

My dad has been amazing to me for the most part. Shari has only known me frum, I actually met her when I was sitting shiva for my mom. Then again Shari thought it was hysterical that she didn't see my hair until I was in the hospital. ie she helped me with the surgical hat and what not.

[teacup9]

My step-father is the best, because he reads stuff and remembers things. My mom is forgetful and not trust worthy (because of absentmindedness not malicious intent, CVS). She would tell me she got everything on Thursday because she would make a special trip, but then she would pick up a few extra things she forgot on Saturday and incorrectly remember that she bought them in the original shopping trip. She also refuses to do self clean on the oven because she insists it releases chemicals that are like toxins. I told her there are no chemicals in the oven, just heat, and whatever she is smelling is her own food burning. She just insisted there was a chemical smell. It sucks because I have to double wrap everything and I usually won't even cook in it because I don't like the idea so I end up buying yucky precooked stuff and reheating it in there double wrapped. I think she should care more about all the tin foil chemicals I am ingesting, but whatever

[yeishlitikvah]

My dad's girlfriend is pretty funny, because she's becoming more familiar with hechurs mostly in terms of what we can eat. SO every so often she calls me and goes, what about 'this' or 'why is my vegan candy bar dairy?' which i thought was a great question, and when she called her vegan friend was told to f- off, because the friend thought it was a stupid question