(no subject)
What is it about this time of year that creates such an ill feeling about the world? Nature is full of death and decay, and my thoughts and emotions are intertwined with that same feeling of loss. This time, between the vibrant colors of Fall, and the first, true snowfall of Winter...it is no man's time. A time for pain to be dealt with and understood, a time to remember that for everything that is born, it must eventually die. Soon the whiteness of Winter will invigorate everything and begin the process of rebirth.
There is something about the way the snow can cover everything in sight, changing the landscape, yet letting it be strangely familiar, that gives mankind hope for the future, a future in which there will be many new things to look forward to, as well as great memories of times past. That sea of white is the turning point of my emotions, a time where I can look both back on myself and into my future, a time of great hope. It is the time whence I was brought into the world, during a time in which not only the all the ground was filled with white, but the air itself was infused with it. Perhaps that is why I feel strangely connected with it.
But for now, I must deal with the pain in the world, as I always do, as it hemmorages from the deepest parts of the human race. I feel all pain at once, yet no pain at all. That pain is the thing which empowers me to continue on, so that maybe I can take it away from the world. The moment I feel all of the energy in my soul sapped from me, the moment that I leave this world, will be the very moment that the last of the pain and suffering has left our species, for then my job here will be done. That is stangely ironic, no? I take away the pain that I can from those around me, and I live off of it. So when all my friends are happy with life, I feel downcast and weak; likewise, when they have issues with life, I am at my peak in life.
*sigh* I have been given this lot in life, and I must continue living with it. If only this weight could be lifted from my shoulders...if only I could find someone in life that would share this burden, or at least comfort me as I journey through life...
There is something about the way the snow can cover everything in sight, changing the landscape, yet letting it be strangely familiar, that gives mankind hope for the future, a future in which there will be many new things to look forward to, as well as great memories of times past. That sea of white is the turning point of my emotions, a time where I can look both back on myself and into my future, a time of great hope. It is the time whence I was brought into the world, during a time in which not only the all the ground was filled with white, but the air itself was infused with it. Perhaps that is why I feel strangely connected with it.
But for now, I must deal with the pain in the world, as I always do, as it hemmorages from the deepest parts of the human race. I feel all pain at once, yet no pain at all. That pain is the thing which empowers me to continue on, so that maybe I can take it away from the world. The moment I feel all of the energy in my soul sapped from me, the moment that I leave this world, will be the very moment that the last of the pain and suffering has left our species, for then my job here will be done. That is stangely ironic, no? I take away the pain that I can from those around me, and I live off of it. So when all my friends are happy with life, I feel downcast and weak; likewise, when they have issues with life, I am at my peak in life.
*sigh* I have been given this lot in life, and I must continue living with it. If only this weight could be lifted from my shoulders...if only I could find someone in life that would share this burden, or at least comfort me as I journey through life...