Thats not nearly enough
I'm risking the danger of writing an entry in the throb of emotion. We'll see if I can be impartial with this. Seldom do I let my e-mow-tions ::howl like an ally cat:: get the best on me on this medium, at least I hope so. If not, I have been misled, but I do my best.
Time for a moment of pride- seven deadly sins my ass- I made dean's list. A pleasent and much appreciated surprise which found me on the kitchen table. Well, I found it not the other way around.
The blues came from gospel, gospel from blues, slaves harmonisin tem ah's and oo's...
I feel a little sick and its not just the soreness in my throat. Two days left unimpeded to get everything done before I go. I've got a cavity to fill manana, what fun, and a bunch o' shoppin. The trick is bringing enough crap but to pack lightly, I ain't hauling that all over, pero I need space for everyone's presents that are coming home. Will is a little odd with me again because I havn't gotten a chance to call him frequently. My dad is coming back around from his funk a few days past, gave him a mind midol, aka I talked to him. Bjork has recently become a mantra.
He took a duck in the face at 500 knots...but more like...you'll be given love, you'll be taken care of
Being patient, being understanding, being everything for everyone and there all the time is exhausting but I'm doing it for the sake of things. But somehow I feel like I'm still failing, like I'm not doing enough, saying the right things, there is a better way to do things that I have not discovered yet. Pouring my energy into everyone around is giving me little time to enjoy my own solitude but that is what this trip is for. The seldom moments I am by myself I am consumed with desire to visit, call, and catch up. Living with Alex and all my friends for so long taught me how an introverted girl can learn to balance never being alone with residing in herself. I simply miss the warmth of another body. I'm missing a lot of things right now, that not just writing about it can remedy. I'm going to head over, recharge, and ready to come back and take more on. If I'm going to be there for people, the way I need to be, I can't falter like this. I know I'm strong enough to keep my own emotions separate from my duties to those I care about but I'm human, sometimes I trip, but I havn't fallen down.
I trust it.
Routine is slowly encroaching upon me. I feel like the finish line is in sight and if I make it to the goal I'm home free.
I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time...dissonance is more then a state of mind its a way of life.
Time for a moment of pride- seven deadly sins my ass- I made dean's list. A pleasent and much appreciated surprise which found me on the kitchen table. Well, I found it not the other way around.
The blues came from gospel, gospel from blues, slaves harmonisin tem ah's and oo's...
I feel a little sick and its not just the soreness in my throat. Two days left unimpeded to get everything done before I go. I've got a cavity to fill manana, what fun, and a bunch o' shoppin. The trick is bringing enough crap but to pack lightly, I ain't hauling that all over, pero I need space for everyone's presents that are coming home. Will is a little odd with me again because I havn't gotten a chance to call him frequently. My dad is coming back around from his funk a few days past, gave him a mind midol, aka I talked to him. Bjork has recently become a mantra.
He took a duck in the face at 500 knots...but more like...you'll be given love, you'll be taken care of
Being patient, being understanding, being everything for everyone and there all the time is exhausting but I'm doing it for the sake of things. But somehow I feel like I'm still failing, like I'm not doing enough, saying the right things, there is a better way to do things that I have not discovered yet. Pouring my energy into everyone around is giving me little time to enjoy my own solitude but that is what this trip is for. The seldom moments I am by myself I am consumed with desire to visit, call, and catch up. Living with Alex and all my friends for so long taught me how an introverted girl can learn to balance never being alone with residing in herself. I simply miss the warmth of another body. I'm missing a lot of things right now, that not just writing about it can remedy. I'm going to head over, recharge, and ready to come back and take more on. If I'm going to be there for people, the way I need to be, I can't falter like this. I know I'm strong enough to keep my own emotions separate from my duties to those I care about but I'm human, sometimes I trip, but I havn't fallen down.
I trust it.
Routine is slowly encroaching upon me. I feel like the finish line is in sight and if I make it to the goal I'm home free.
I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time...dissonance is more then a state of mind its a way of life.