Johnny Tu N'es Pas Un Ange
I'm home. My little butt is in its proper place on my couch and my cat is straddling the chair to my right, everything is as I left it. My legs are utterly exhausted. The trip to Texas was splendid was well sought. Audrey was great, and that little one's got a birthday comin' manana. It was a little odd sleeping on some random persons couch for two days but everyone was nice and San Marcos was cute and collegiate. William was back a forth at first but some ground was achieved. Austin was great. It was wonderful to see all the old people that I remember from highschool - and Adrienne and James of course of course. Harry Potter crazyfuntime was an interesting way to spend a hot Texas night but somewhere between the sorting hat and a dry ice bomb I thought the night was good. All the muscles in my body ache from walking. While in Texas, William took David and I to the green belt which I did not know included hiking. We got lost heading down the flooded embankment which had the history of Audtin's collection of glass and crockery sharders scattered down it. Although I was in flipflops, my surefootedness allowed that I only got chiggers. Those little bastards. Alex and I had another altercation that almost resulted in me not seeing her but monday morning, my last day in town, she managed to call me. Seeing her was great, she has grown to such a size, the baby now absorbs her form. I came up with a great idea for a present for when the baby is born but I still need some planning. I'll probably knit something for her too, babies have a way of motivating people to be crafty. First night back, set off some fireworks with Brandon and the gang in La Jolla. Like my welcome home celebration, but it did involve walking down a steeply graded mountain - and then the trek up was brutal. Feet are sore, calfs are killing me, I am extremely tired from jetlag, chiggers are getting the best of me, and just overall stress and anxiety has my legs afflicted. I feel tested and annoyed. The gaping sensation in my chest has returned and I'm not sure if its chemical or physical. My exhaustion climaxing where I simply can't do it anymore. My strength is a little shaky right now, while everything is in transistion. Its hard to believe that in two weeks I'll be in Europe, talk about getting away from it all. I'm hoping it will be a good break, sever my electronic ties for a while, let everyone else suss out their routines again and fall back into them. Routines make you comfortable. Going back to Texas, and exmaining everything there, is a lot like going back to an ex. There is so much comfort and familiarity but the incongruties or issues that you have occasionally surface and even taint the excitement. I get into town and immedietly my old grievances appear but I worked on most of them, at least addressed most of them. Its so easy to get sucked back into the cycle that before I knew it, I was acting just as I used to when I lived there. If you don't go into it with structured intentions, you default. How am I able to withstand this? Hold it out and examine it without being blinded by whats reflected in the facets. Holding out my hands, I find them empty. La foule.