My life is so fucking gay
Well I'm sitting here wondering if its all really worth it. Was taking a risk and trying to make something work all really worth it. I suppose it was I got my kicks I fail in love or so I thought. I don't regret anything and I'm sure I won't regret what me and him half to do now. I always thought of myself as that horse u see that can never be riden or get to close to because i was meant to rome free. I hate the feeling of being sufficated. Never feeling the life of doing things u want to do. I just don't understand the concept of a girl having to listen to what a guy wants u to do. I mean do we still live in the 50's. I THINK NOT! I don't care about anyone else I will never have to explain myself to my boyfriend. I don't think I have to explain where i'm going why i'm going and who i'm going with. I think he should except it and he should trust me to not do the wrong thing. I have cheated once and i had balls enough to tell the guy. But i know it was wrong and everyday i have to pay for it. But i'm not like other girls and i don't know why my boyfriend now has to treat me like i'm some big slut. If i wanted to cheat on him so fucking bad i would have by now. I just think he wants to go to his oh so perfect life back home. I'm mean i can't blame him but I'll miss him with my whole heart! I just don't think I'm strong enough to lose another guy. I act so tough like i don't care but it kills me more than anyone will know. All i ever want is someone to love me and adore me for who i am and not to ridicule me for who I'm not! I can't take this anymore I don't want to have to cry for another guy again.