right now i hate my life
way to be positive, eh?
birgitte left for norway today, a day late. yesterday was nice, despite the almost three hours i had to spend in the car, going to the airport, and then a loooong alternate route back, and then back to the airport AGAIN to bring birgitte back home, and then of course the ride home. but then we went out to a restaurant for dinner and then got ice cream.
as a side note, i am totally repulsed with the thought of dairy right now, and somewhat repulsed at the thought of sugar, though wheat is still feeling innocuous. but my greatest downfall lately is ice cream, just tons of it, and if i can fertilize and sustain my repulsion with dairy, it will be very good indeed. i bought all sorts of fruit today, and muesli, so there's food to eat at home, and even if i can't give up sugar and wheat right now (because life is too crazy) i think i've had more ice cream than i can stomach and if i just think about infected cow udders... well, i can probably skip the ice cream. <>
anyhow, back to the narrative. so today totally sucked, and i had a headache almost all day and was mad and sad and it was just stupid. and i finally went to borders and bought two books, and came home and read one, and my head still hurts and i can't sleep and it is 1:30am, so i just figured, fuck it, i'm going to work on my dissertation, because probably the root of my malaise today is that i am freaked the hell out that i'm a half-week behind now, and still haven't started writing the theory chapter, and in 20 days i'm leaving for norway and i still have to do theory, intro and conclusions, plus finish my revision of methods, plus smooth everything out. but thinking that way isn't helpful at all, it is just panic-making. so yes. relax, breathe.
my plan right now is to work on the section of the theory chapter that is about reviewing the parental beliefs literature and integrating it with my work. which is actually hard... but i think i'll move over to Word and work on it... first i need to think about what my findings are there, and what information i have about the parental beliefs lit, and then think about creating some sort of integration and then the writing should be pretty easy.
i'm thinking that each of the four sections of my theory chapter should be about 10 pages, give or take. so, this shouldn't be too hard -- i'm just writing a 10-page paper! i can do that tonight! if i stay up all night doing that but then have it done by morning, i'll feel pretty good. even if i'm trashed tomorrow. though i would really have to nap b/c i'm doing sound tomorrow night, probably for the last time at the Ark ever, and i don't want it to be a fuck-up.
oh, i also have to say that the one thing that was actually FABULOUS today was skating. i kept working on my loop jump on my own (post-lesson) and i think it is coming along but i still want to practice it in lesson because i need jason to help me get the rhythm of it better. but i started doing a sequence of elements, like a program, but without music, and it is going really well! here are the elements so far:
side toe hop (starting w right foot, using right arm as embellishment)
right outside three turn into a
one-foot spin
come out and go into back cross-overs (right foot is the inside foot) to get power for a
right back spiral
into left forward spiral
into left bower, which ends with a little turn so i'm going backwards, and do an arms embellishment (what did jason call it? a performance? something like that)
into back crossovers to get power for a
waltz jump-side toe hop-waltz jump sequence.
that's all so far!
ok, dissertation.
birgitte left for norway today, a day late. yesterday was nice, despite the almost three hours i had to spend in the car, going to the airport, and then a loooong alternate route back, and then back to the airport AGAIN to bring birgitte back home, and then of course the ride home. but then we went out to a restaurant for dinner and then got ice cream.
as a side note, i am totally repulsed with the thought of dairy right now, and somewhat repulsed at the thought of sugar, though wheat is still feeling innocuous. but my greatest downfall lately is ice cream, just tons of it, and if i can fertilize and sustain my repulsion with dairy, it will be very good indeed. i bought all sorts of fruit today, and muesli, so there's food to eat at home, and even if i can't give up sugar and wheat right now (because life is too crazy) i think i've had more ice cream than i can stomach and if i just think about infected cow udders... well, i can probably skip the ice cream. <>
anyhow, back to the narrative. so today totally sucked, and i had a headache almost all day and was mad and sad and it was just stupid. and i finally went to borders and bought two books, and came home and read one, and my head still hurts and i can't sleep and it is 1:30am, so i just figured, fuck it, i'm going to work on my dissertation, because probably the root of my malaise today is that i am freaked the hell out that i'm a half-week behind now, and still haven't started writing the theory chapter, and in 20 days i'm leaving for norway and i still have to do theory, intro and conclusions, plus finish my revision of methods, plus smooth everything out. but thinking that way isn't helpful at all, it is just panic-making. so yes. relax, breathe.
my plan right now is to work on the section of the theory chapter that is about reviewing the parental beliefs literature and integrating it with my work. which is actually hard... but i think i'll move over to Word and work on it... first i need to think about what my findings are there, and what information i have about the parental beliefs lit, and then think about creating some sort of integration and then the writing should be pretty easy.
i'm thinking that each of the four sections of my theory chapter should be about 10 pages, give or take. so, this shouldn't be too hard -- i'm just writing a 10-page paper! i can do that tonight! if i stay up all night doing that but then have it done by morning, i'll feel pretty good. even if i'm trashed tomorrow. though i would really have to nap b/c i'm doing sound tomorrow night, probably for the last time at the Ark ever, and i don't want it to be a fuck-up.
oh, i also have to say that the one thing that was actually FABULOUS today was skating. i kept working on my loop jump on my own (post-lesson) and i think it is coming along but i still want to practice it in lesson because i need jason to help me get the rhythm of it better. but i started doing a sequence of elements, like a program, but without music, and it is going really well! here are the elements so far:
side toe hop (starting w right foot, using right arm as embellishment)
right outside three turn into a
one-foot spin
come out and go into back cross-overs (right foot is the inside foot) to get power for a
right back spiral
into left forward spiral
into left bower, which ends with a little turn so i'm going backwards, and do an arms embellishment (what did jason call it? a performance? something like that)
into back crossovers to get power for a
waltz jump-side toe hop-waltz jump sequence.
that's all so far!
ok, dissertation.