flower beds
So, I was outside puttering, yes, actually puttering in my small but cute little flower bed. It's the second year I have cultivated (every pun intended) my new found love of flowers. I'm on my knees, (alas it's been awhile) digging away at the weeds who think they own the joint. And two of the reasons I'm out there is: a) aforementioned weeds and: 2) my kids are off galavanting around the country, so I am a lone little wolfie for the next two weeks and I need to stay a little busy, not busy enough to keep myself from feeling but busy enough I do not go stir crazy with my bouncing, baby brain frolliking about teasing me with wicked thoughts and emotions.
However, I did have one splendid, wicked thought as I plunged my three-pronged garden-thingy into a group of weeds--"I am not obsessed with that rotten ex of mine even though I am alone and it is quiet; too quiet, in my house." A little chuckle of evil laughter escaped my pouty lips as I reveled in the very possible notion, she has no more power over me. (She never REALLY did, I just allowed and believed she did).
I still live in Shithole, NE and they are still hiding all the lesbians from me-all two of 'em. I still have no friends, lol. wow when I say it like that, it's really pathetic. Oh well, 'tis the truth by my own choosing and circumstances. And, evidently, I'm ok with this. I cried in front of my little sis this weekend and she rushed over like the best of girlfriends and rocked me awhile. Awwww. I needed it. I must say, I am starving for affection. I considered briefly today; ha another wicked thought-I MUST be feeling better, of calling this chick I do know who is a lesbian and fairly normal, well, you'll have to decipher that on your own once you read this. I have had an , hmmm, what would you call it? Oh yeah, an affair. She has a live-in girlfriend. She (and her girlfriend) are very closeted lesbians. I have asked, I'll call her S, about this closet living and she says she is too afraid of family pressures, rejections, and problems at work to come out. Ok, whatever, it matters not to me. Anwyay, for about a year and a half we keep "running" into one another, if you know what I mean. She works at the hospital and when they yanked out my appendix, I saw her, of course. So, of course, we exchanged numbers. Holy shit, this is one long, short story. To make a long story short, I considered calling her tonight under the guise of watching a movie, knowing exactly how much of said movie would be watched. I considered calling her because of my thirsting for affection. I am happy to report, yet oddly disappointed, I will not be calling her. I thought, ya' know, Brit, you just deserve so fuckin much more, I think you'll be fine without some random "affection". Gee whiz, I said to myself, aren't you mature. ha ha; It was then I slapped myself and snapped myself back to reality. Ahh, the sordid life I live in this crummy little berg. :) I'll watch the L word reruns and live vicariously through the girls, and happily so. Lesbians!! Love ya, wish you were here.....
However, I did have one splendid, wicked thought as I plunged my three-pronged garden-thingy into a group of weeds--"I am not obsessed with that rotten ex of mine even though I am alone and it is quiet; too quiet, in my house." A little chuckle of evil laughter escaped my pouty lips as I reveled in the very possible notion, she has no more power over me. (She never REALLY did, I just allowed and believed she did).
I still live in Shithole, NE and they are still hiding all the lesbians from me-all two of 'em. I still have no friends, lol. wow when I say it like that, it's really pathetic. Oh well, 'tis the truth by my own choosing and circumstances. And, evidently, I'm ok with this. I cried in front of my little sis this weekend and she rushed over like the best of girlfriends and rocked me awhile. Awwww. I needed it. I must say, I am starving for affection. I considered briefly today; ha another wicked thought-I MUST be feeling better, of calling this chick I do know who is a lesbian and fairly normal, well, you'll have to decipher that on your own once you read this. I have had an , hmmm, what would you call it? Oh yeah, an affair. She has a live-in girlfriend. She (and her girlfriend) are very closeted lesbians. I have asked, I'll call her S, about this closet living and she says she is too afraid of family pressures, rejections, and problems at work to come out. Ok, whatever, it matters not to me. Anwyay, for about a year and a half we keep "running" into one another, if you know what I mean. She works at the hospital and when they yanked out my appendix, I saw her, of course. So, of course, we exchanged numbers. Holy shit, this is one long, short story. To make a long story short, I considered calling her tonight under the guise of watching a movie, knowing exactly how much of said movie would be watched. I considered calling her because of my thirsting for affection. I am happy to report, yet oddly disappointed, I will not be calling her. I thought, ya' know, Brit, you just deserve so fuckin much more, I think you'll be fine without some random "affection". Gee whiz, I said to myself, aren't you mature. ha ha; It was then I slapped myself and snapped myself back to reality. Ahh, the sordid life I live in this crummy little berg. :) I'll watch the L word reruns and live vicariously through the girls, and happily so. Lesbians!! Love ya, wish you were here.....