Full of thoughts
So lately...things have been highly different. I basically lost bryant for good..or so it feels like it... We barley even exchange words anymore..and it feels so wrong..i dont think i've ever been this weak before..not over a guy at least...i've been sinking deeply into music too lately...i just put on a song and get completley lost in it..most of it relating to what i feel..i feel like im punishing myself by seeing what i need but dont want to..and it seems like everyone has a part of rubbing it in my face one way or another..it never fails., they do a good job at it. ...wait... what do they have to do with anything in my life unless it includes them to begin with.. If i wanted you in my business, you would know if im opening a door for you. But the harder i kick them out of the door they try to get into.. the more the break through. I mean i just need someone to spill it all out to.. someone that'll listen and understand...just one on one talking, no interupptions ..with no where to go and all the time we want...i was going to to that saturday but things got a lil out of hand...thanks again world..For a second i wish that this world could be put into a time out.. just so i an take everything in going on around me...its such an on going thing anymore ..with no escape route im worth taking, i promised myself i wouldnt. And for anyone actually understanding what im saying right now..im surprised you actually follow what im thinking, not many people can...not even me sometimes.
Im thinkin of the future and how its coming up so quickly ..i guess im just afraid of it in a way not knowing whats going to go down or up in the next few years, its gunna be a big change , not just a little one that youll get used to the next day..
SaR -xx-