(no subject)
I have boobs. This is slightly disconcerting. I can't decide if I'm pleased or not.
On the one hand, some of my clothes are fitting much better these days, and my steampunk will look more impressive. I have a much more feminine figure now than I have since I was 14 -- my waist is smaller ( - 2" down to 24"), my boobs actually fill out my bra (smallest A cup I can find, so it's not saying much, but still) and I have slightly less prominent hip bones. All of this comes down to me losing some muscle mass (thighs and abdominals, mostly) and finally putting on some body fat, so even though I weigh about what I did in high school, it's been redistributed a bit thanks to not riding horses five days a week + competitions on weekends.
On the other hand no more running around as Kenshin with my gi open to my navel, or as any other male character for that matter, at least not without taping. Also it's just, well, disconcerting. I've had a very androgynous build for years now, and suddenly looking in the mirror and seeing curves to my body, however slight, is a bit odd. Having breasts to jiggle is a very strange feeling. I hadn't realized how strong my self-image was. Not that I've ever been really mistaken for a boy by anyone over the age of eight, but that's more down to having a very feminine face, style of dressing, and mannerisms.
Mind you, getting skinny enough to lose the boobs again is not the plan; I still need to put on five to ten more pounds to reach a healthy weight, and even if I did start working out enough to convert it all to muscle, having no body fat at all isn't healthy regardless. It's just that in a lot of ways I'd like to be perfectly androgynous, despite the fact that I dress like a girl. I can't help liking pretty clothes, and these days pretty clothes are almost all for girls. I guess it goes back to wanting to be with someone who won't put me in a gender-box.
Tangentially, I really should cosplay Medicine Seller from Mononoke at some point.
On the one hand, some of my clothes are fitting much better these days, and my steampunk will look more impressive. I have a much more feminine figure now than I have since I was 14 -- my waist is smaller ( - 2" down to 24"), my boobs actually fill out my bra (smallest A cup I can find, so it's not saying much, but still) and I have slightly less prominent hip bones. All of this comes down to me losing some muscle mass (thighs and abdominals, mostly) and finally putting on some body fat, so even though I weigh about what I did in high school, it's been redistributed a bit thanks to not riding horses five days a week + competitions on weekends.
On the other hand no more running around as Kenshin with my gi open to my navel, or as any other male character for that matter, at least not without taping. Also it's just, well, disconcerting. I've had a very androgynous build for years now, and suddenly looking in the mirror and seeing curves to my body, however slight, is a bit odd. Having breasts to jiggle is a very strange feeling. I hadn't realized how strong my self-image was. Not that I've ever been really mistaken for a boy by anyone over the age of eight, but that's more down to having a very feminine face, style of dressing, and mannerisms.
Mind you, getting skinny enough to lose the boobs again is not the plan; I still need to put on five to ten more pounds to reach a healthy weight, and even if I did start working out enough to convert it all to muscle, having no body fat at all isn't healthy regardless. It's just that in a lot of ways I'd like to be perfectly androgynous, despite the fact that I dress like a girl. I can't help liking pretty clothes, and these days pretty clothes are almost all for girls. I guess it goes back to wanting to be with someone who won't put me in a gender-box.
Tangentially, I really should cosplay Medicine Seller from Mononoke at some point.