Crying Face
a oneshot from a year ago~
others: Sleeping Face
Let go!
I don't want to.
I said let go!
No.
Get away!
Gokudera…
Leave me alone!
…look at me.
I don't want… to.
Ah.
Gokudera is crying…
I really am an idiot. How did this happen? Why did I let this go on like this? I could feel it in my arms - Gokudera's trembling body and his warm tears falling against my skin. Just awhile ago, Gokudera was angry. I should have known better that his anger was getting out of hand but by the time I knew it, he already broke down. Why did I let my guard down? Getting kissed like that… and in front of Gokudera too… why did it take a whole second before I pulled away? This is my fault. I want this to end. Thinking this was just a harmless game, I hurt Gokudera. I hurt my precious Gokudera…
Gokudera is strong…
Wherever Gokudera goes he always leaves people with a tough impression. Gokudera is the type who would do things all by himself and not ask for any help because he's confident that he can do it himself. He says things selfishly because he wants everyone to see he can do it. Gokudera wouldn't even complain - though he tends to curse - at the task given, instead he would try to accomplish it as soon as possible. I admire all that even if at times those are the reason why Gokudera gets into meaningless fights. I admire very much Gokudera's resolve in everything he does. Like what had happened, if I didn't run after him, Gokudera would have cried on his own, trying to figure things out himself. But, Gokudera, doesn't have to worry, because behind that tough attitude, there is me, who would support him, who would encourage him through and through, who would always be beside him even if he pushes or throws me away.
Gokudera is vulnerable…
Because he's strong he's fragile. True, Gokudera is a straight-forward person, saying whatever it is on his mind, but it's also true that he's not as honest as people see because he won't say what really matters. Seeing Gokudera in this state, it reminds me how frail he is despite his rough looks and straight words. Gokudera is most of the time reckless in everything and anything he does, and because of that, it makes me worried. Because he acts without hesitation, it makes me be on a look out and to stand guard. Because I love Gokudera, it makes me over-protective. If possible, I would push people away from Gokudera, that way no one can hurt him and that way no one can love him. Everything that has to do with Gokudera should only be mine. I want Gokudera to rely only to me. So if he breaks again I want him to know that I'll be there to catch him.
I'm hugging Gokudera…
When I ran after Gokudera to grab his hand, one thing came to my mind - I don't want him to misunderstand - and that's all the reason I need. After that, I immediately embraced him and the moment he clutched my shirt - whether it was because of fury or disappointment - I thought of never letting him go. I like it when Gokudera grips my shirt. It's as if he can't stand without me by his side. It's as if he can't let me go. It's as if I'm his source of breath. Gokudera is dependent to me… The times that I hold Gokudera in my arms, day and night, in school and in his apartment, anytime, anywhere, for me, it only means one thing. Like right now, I'm still holding Gokudera. I'm caressing him. I'm protecting him. I'm assuring Gokudera that I'm not going anywhere. I'm telling Gokudera that I'm here.
I'm happy that Gokudera is crying…
My shirt is damp and I'm having mixed feelings. I don't like it because it's all covered with Gokudera's tears and at the same time, I like it because it's all covered with Gokudera's tears. I know that doesn't sound right but that's what I really feel. I hate and love it because Gokudera is hurt. He is crying because of me, because he didn't like what he saw, because he didn't like what happened… Gokudera's monopolistic feelings for me overcame his immovable pride… I'm happy since the reason why Gokudera's crying is his love for me… because if that's the proof that he loves me, I wouldn't mind seeing him cry every day.
I'm the only one…
My words, my body, my heat, everything about me… Gokudera would only react to me. I'm the only one who could pierce Gokudera's strong armor. Things like this might happen again since it's unavoidable, but as long as I'm the reason for his tears, we'll be fine. Because I'll be there, I' m gonna comfort Gokudera and I'm gonna protect him. In the future I know, I will hurt Gokudera, I will ruin him, I will give him pain because no matter the circumstances, I'll be the only one who can fix him since this proud and strong Gokudera's weakness is none other than me.
All I want is Gokudera. It can't be helped to say this. And even if I already have him, I still want him. I really am selfish~!
… Ah. He hugged me back!
Haha~!
Stop laughing! Gokudera's cute, kind, stubborn, timid, and honest and because I love Gokudera… I'm afraid, troubled, and anxious that I might lose him.
Gokudera… you're the only one. There might come a time that Gokudera's feelings would subside… a time when Gokudera would break up with me… a time when Gokudera would leave me. Ah~ But I will not let that happen. Gokudera, this is my fault. I'm sorry. I will cunningly and silently restrain him when he thinks he wants to be free. I have my plan.
I'm not crying because of you! I will gently hurt him, softly pain him, make him cry, give him insecurities, worries, jealousies so Gokudera will seek me, think only of me and hold me, - I won't give him a chance to be concerned to other people - and with that intention, never in Gokudera's thought would enter to break apart from me because he'll be the one to get attached to me, because I'll comfort him, because I'm the only answer to his problems.
Eh? But I think you're crying because of me~! I'm a secret sadist~! But everything I think… everything I do… my whole being is because of Gokudera!
Yamamoto!
Hm?
D-don't do it again…! Ahaha~! Gokudera's red up to his ears! Gokudera, I won't say this to you directly but the reason I did that is because you kept paying attention to Tsuna, if not Tsuna it's Uri~
You too Gokudera, don't do it again
Huh?
others: Sleeping Face
Let go!
I don't want to.
I said let go!
No.
Get away!
Gokudera…
Leave me alone!
…look at me.
I don't want… to.
Ah.
Gokudera is crying…
I really am an idiot. How did this happen? Why did I let this go on like this? I could feel it in my arms - Gokudera's trembling body and his warm tears falling against my skin. Just awhile ago, Gokudera was angry. I should have known better that his anger was getting out of hand but by the time I knew it, he already broke down. Why did I let my guard down? Getting kissed like that… and in front of Gokudera too… why did it take a whole second before I pulled away? This is my fault. I want this to end. Thinking this was just a harmless game, I hurt Gokudera. I hurt my precious Gokudera…
Gokudera is strong…
Wherever Gokudera goes he always leaves people with a tough impression. Gokudera is the type who would do things all by himself and not ask for any help because he's confident that he can do it himself. He says things selfishly because he wants everyone to see he can do it. Gokudera wouldn't even complain - though he tends to curse - at the task given, instead he would try to accomplish it as soon as possible. I admire all that even if at times those are the reason why Gokudera gets into meaningless fights. I admire very much Gokudera's resolve in everything he does. Like what had happened, if I didn't run after him, Gokudera would have cried on his own, trying to figure things out himself. But, Gokudera, doesn't have to worry, because behind that tough attitude, there is me, who would support him, who would encourage him through and through, who would always be beside him even if he pushes or throws me away.
Gokudera is vulnerable…
Because he's strong he's fragile. True, Gokudera is a straight-forward person, saying whatever it is on his mind, but it's also true that he's not as honest as people see because he won't say what really matters. Seeing Gokudera in this state, it reminds me how frail he is despite his rough looks and straight words. Gokudera is most of the time reckless in everything and anything he does, and because of that, it makes me worried. Because he acts without hesitation, it makes me be on a look out and to stand guard. Because I love Gokudera, it makes me over-protective. If possible, I would push people away from Gokudera, that way no one can hurt him and that way no one can love him. Everything that has to do with Gokudera should only be mine. I want Gokudera to rely only to me. So if he breaks again I want him to know that I'll be there to catch him.
I'm hugging Gokudera…
When I ran after Gokudera to grab his hand, one thing came to my mind - I don't want him to misunderstand - and that's all the reason I need. After that, I immediately embraced him and the moment he clutched my shirt - whether it was because of fury or disappointment - I thought of never letting him go. I like it when Gokudera grips my shirt. It's as if he can't stand without me by his side. It's as if he can't let me go. It's as if I'm his source of breath. Gokudera is dependent to me… The times that I hold Gokudera in my arms, day and night, in school and in his apartment, anytime, anywhere, for me, it only means one thing. Like right now, I'm still holding Gokudera. I'm caressing him. I'm protecting him. I'm assuring Gokudera that I'm not going anywhere. I'm telling Gokudera that I'm here.
I'm happy that Gokudera is crying…
My shirt is damp and I'm having mixed feelings. I don't like it because it's all covered with Gokudera's tears and at the same time, I like it because it's all covered with Gokudera's tears. I know that doesn't sound right but that's what I really feel. I hate and love it because Gokudera is hurt. He is crying because of me, because he didn't like what he saw, because he didn't like what happened… Gokudera's monopolistic feelings for me overcame his immovable pride… I'm happy since the reason why Gokudera's crying is his love for me… because if that's the proof that he loves me, I wouldn't mind seeing him cry every day.
I'm the only one…
My words, my body, my heat, everything about me… Gokudera would only react to me. I'm the only one who could pierce Gokudera's strong armor. Things like this might happen again since it's unavoidable, but as long as I'm the reason for his tears, we'll be fine. Because I'll be there, I' m gonna comfort Gokudera and I'm gonna protect him. In the future I know, I will hurt Gokudera, I will ruin him, I will give him pain because no matter the circumstances, I'll be the only one who can fix him since this proud and strong Gokudera's weakness is none other than me.
All I want is Gokudera. It can't be helped to say this. And even if I already have him, I still want him. I really am selfish~!
… Ah. He hugged me back!
Haha~!
Stop laughing! Gokudera's cute, kind, stubborn, timid, and honest and because I love Gokudera… I'm afraid, troubled, and anxious that I might lose him.
Gokudera… you're the only one. There might come a time that Gokudera's feelings would subside… a time when Gokudera would break up with me… a time when Gokudera would leave me. Ah~ But I will not let that happen. Gokudera, this is my fault. I'm sorry. I will cunningly and silently restrain him when he thinks he wants to be free. I have my plan.
I'm not crying because of you! I will gently hurt him, softly pain him, make him cry, give him insecurities, worries, jealousies so Gokudera will seek me, think only of me and hold me, - I won't give him a chance to be concerned to other people - and with that intention, never in Gokudera's thought would enter to break apart from me because he'll be the one to get attached to me, because I'll comfort him, because I'm the only answer to his problems.
Eh? But I think you're crying because of me~! I'm a secret sadist~! But everything I think… everything I do… my whole being is because of Gokudera!
Yamamoto!
Hm?
D-don't do it again…! Ahaha~! Gokudera's red up to his ears! Gokudera, I won't say this to you directly but the reason I did that is because you kept paying attention to Tsuna, if not Tsuna it's Uri~
You too Gokudera, don't do it again
Huh?