OneShot: ZE:A
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Characters: ZEA (not-so-hidden SiKwang)
Rating: G
Genre: Member-love? :v
Warning: Un-beta-ed. Grammatical error. OOC? :v
Summary: Kwanghee feels insecure. Siwan makes it worst. Member-loves happen.
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Kwanghee took a shuddery breath as he combed his hair to the back using his fingers. He rested his head against the wall, staring at the ceiling unblinking. He had just finished browsing the web, reading comments made by the netizens and any article about his group, and especially about him.
“Aish! Why do I feel down, stupid me? Why should I feel bothered at all?”
The Diva scoffed and stood up from his bed, shutting down his laptop. He then went out from the room to go to the living room.
He would not think about those comments that said how he did not have any role in the group, since he could not even sing, and not that a great dancer unlike other members. He did not have any specialty besides being funny.
No, he would not think about them at all. He was not affected. He did not.
“What’re you doing, idiot?” Siwan pushed the Diva aside and walked ahead. “You’re blocking the way”
Kwanghee blinked. He did not realize he just stood still in the middle of the corridor, too deep into his thought. Siwan glanced back at the taller man in annoyance when he noticed the latter still did not move.
“Oi!” He called. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Wha- of course there’s nothing wrong with me!” Kwanghee laughed that laugh of his.
Siwan rolled his eyes and sat down at the couch, reaching out to the nearest magazine to read. Kwanghee gnawed his lips and shuffled towards the Fashionista. Siwan did not notice it, he was too focused reading the magazine.
The other members saw it though.
“What’s wrong with Kwanghee-hyung?” Dongjun whispered to his fellow maknaes line.
Minwoo shrugged, his eyes never left those two older men in front of them. Hyungshik furrowed his eyebrows, thinking hard to answer the question.
“He accidentally breaks one of Siwan-hyung’s things-”
Minwoo and Dongjun gasped in horror, their hand covered their mouth. Hyungshik just ignored them and continued his sentence.
“-and now he wants to apologize”
“He won’t survive” Heechul piped in without taking his eyes off of his phone.
The maknaes continued to stare at those two with interest. Junyoung who heard everything those four were talking just shook his head, and walked to the kitchen to help Kevin and Taehun who were making dinner for them.
“Hey, Siwannie” Kwanghee called. He was still standing in front of the other man.
“Hm?” Siwan responded, though he did not glance up.
Kwanghee gripped his knuckles into fists, and he squared up his shoulders. It was not that he was insecure. He just wanted to know what his members - especially his best friend - though about him, what happened if he was not with them, not in the group.
“What-what do you think if I’m away?” Kwanghee blurted it out.
Siwan raised his eyebrow at the odd question, but he still focused on the magazine he was reading. “If you want to be away, then be away”
Kwanghee reeled back, his heart clenched tightly. He bit his lower lips before he asked another question. “You-you don’t feel anything?”
Siwan paused, and flipped the magazine to new page. “No, not really”
“O- oh”
Kwanghee bit his lips harder, and he stared down at the floor. He just stood still there, and Siwan simply ignored him. The maknaes watched with wide eyes. They were kind of confused when they heard his hyung’s question. Heechul had taken his eyes off of his phone and glanced quizzically at those two older men.
Junyoung, Kevin and Taehun who had finished making dinner, and came to the living room, feeling lost when they saw the event unfolded there.
“What’s going on?” The leader asked those who were already at the room since the beginning.
They just shrugged helplessly, and continued to stare at the pair.
Kwanghee felt his heart ached, so bad. Really, he did not really care what those netizens and media were saying about him. He knew he did not really have lines in most of their songs, heck, sometimes he did not even get any line! What stood up about him was that he was funny, but some even disliked it because he looked annoying. He did not have many fans like others. He was not likeable like others. He did not care if those netizens said it did not affect the group if he was not in it, as long as he knew the members - Siwan - thought of him, that they wanted him.
But his best friend himself said that he did not really care if he was away, was not in the group. It hurt him. A lot. So, he was unwanted. Not even by the person he cherished.
Oh.
“Kwang- Kwanghee-hyung?” Taehun stated in alarmed.
Dongjun was already stunned at his seat, as well as Minwoo and Hyungshik. Heechul’s eyes widened in bewilderment that his grasp at his phone loosened. Kevin did not know what to react as he stared fixed at the Diva. Junyoung looked conflicted because it was the first time he saw the even unfolded in front of him.
Hwang Kwanghee was crying. He just stood still with his head ducked to the floor, and his body raked with the sobs he tried to suppress.
Damn. He was not supposed to cry like this. He was strong, damnit.
Stop. The. Tears!
Kwanghee chocked with the sobs and more tears dropped to the floor. Siwan who was at first did not look at the Diva immediately tore his attention from the magazine to look at the man in front of him when he heard the chocked breath. Surprised was an understatement of what he felt when he finally saw the state of the Diva.
“Kwan- Kwanghee!” Siwan exclaimed in shock as he quickly stood up. “Wha- why? What’s wrong?”
With that, the other members broke into a run towards the crying man. It seriously surprised them because it was the first time they saw the Diva of their group cried like that.
Taehun already hugged the older man from behind. Dongjun had his fingers grasped at the Diva’s sleeve, as he looked at the older man helplessly. Junyoung rested his hand at Kwanghee’s neck and massaged it lightly, like he always did when he was consoling anyone.
“Hyung, why?” The leader asked softly. ‘What makes you cry?’ remained as hidden question.
“What’s with the question, Kwanghee-hyung?” Heechul demanded.
“Yeah, what’s with that-” Hyungshil interjected.
“Saying if you’re away and such” Minwoo continued.
Kwanghee sniffled and rubbed his eyes using the heels of his palms. His throat tightened to prevent him to sob more, and he coughed for breathe.
“Everyone- everyone keeps on saying that I don’t have any role in this group. I can’t sing like Shikkie, I can’t dance like Minwoo, I can’t rap like Taehunnie, I can’t do anything! The most lines I get are two-three lines, sometimes I don’t even get any! What am I in the group?”
The others were dumbfounded.
“What’re you talking about, hyung?! You’re the one who work hard in variety shows to introduce us to be known by others!” Junyoung exclaimed, and others agreed.
Kwanghee burst out. “That was long before, when we were just debuted! Now everyone already know about us, all of you have gotten your own fans to support you! And all of you can survive in any show without me anymore! I don’t have anything to do!”
“Hyung-”
“That’s why they say if I’m not in the group, it’ll not affect all of you at all” He whispered.
Siwan blinked. Was this why Kwanghee asked him of what he would feel if he was away? He meant away as in not in the group? Siwan opened his mouth to say something.
“Oi, Kwanghee, are you stupid?” Kevin cut in. “What do you think of us? Of course it’ll affect us if you’re away. We’ve been together since ever”
“It’s not fun if there’s no hyung. We can’t have fight with you then” Heechul stated with slight smirk, and those maknaes agreed and laughed lightly.
“We’ll always together, hyung” Junyoung smiled.
“Always” Taehun hugged tighter.
Kwanghee laughed, with a choke cough, because he was still sniffling. He felt lighter. His members did love him, and want him. Each of them gave him a brief hug before they stepped back, and now he was standing face-to-face with Siwan.
“Kwanghee.. I- I didn’t know you meant it that way-”
The Diva sniffled slightly. “You do say you don’t feel anything even if I’m away, even though you answered it when you’re thinking if I’m away in different meaning”
“I-”
“It still means you don’t care about me, right?” Kwanghee sniffled more.
Siwan was panicking. The other members were glaring at him with ‘fix-it-you-stupid’ expression on their face. The Fashionista then grabbed the Diva by arm and dragged him to another room, away from others. He then had the other man to sit down at the chair, with him still standing, and look at him by palming the cheeks firmly.
“Look, I admit I do say I don’t feel anything when you asked me that-”
“So-”
“Hush! I say that not because I don’t care about you, it’s because I thought you said you’re just wanting to go out, or be away for some spaces, and that I know you’ll always come back to me after that!”
Kwanghee went silent for a moment, before he snorted out a laugh. “You’re so confident, huh?”
“Shut up” Siwan hissed with his face flaming red. “It’s your fault for always clinging to me I think that”
Kwanghee chuckled. “Yes, yes”
Both of the laughed, with Kwanghee rested his forehead against Siwan’s abdomen, and the other man had his arms rested on his shoulders.
“Hyung! Dinner!” Dongjun shouted from the kitchen.
Kwanghee and Siwan looked at each other and shared a chuckle, before they went out from the room to join the others who were waiting for them at the kitchen.
‘I won’t care what they’re saying. We’ll always be together, all nine of us’
Kwanghee smiled.
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I'm finally back to Kpop fandom (though I now only focus on ZE:A) again after I left it since 2011. Welcome back, me! :v
Oh, I just happen to love angsty/hurtcomfort/fluffy type of story and you'll see more of these genres from me. Huehue.