HYDE: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Note: I do not own the original idea, it's by Theresa Green. I asked permission from the author ages ago.
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Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully automated HYDE unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Androgynous Vocalist, please pay close attention to the following details:
Basic Information:
Name: hyde/HYDE/Hyde
Date of Manufacture: 29 January 1969
Place of Manufacture: Wakayama, Japan
Height: Short
Weight: Unknown
Your HYDE unit will come with the following accessories:
MAIKU© (microphone)
One (1) set of ROCKSTAR™ clothes
One (1) GUITAR
One (1) Angel-Heart Ring
We previously provided our HYDE units with cigarettes because the unit will die on the streets if it didn’t have even a stick with him. Fortunately, the newly-developed K.A.Z. unit has influenced the HYDE unit to stop smoking. Also, please take note that there are other accessories which you may buy separately from our authorized sellers.
Programming:
The HYDE unit is one of the most versatile units in our J-ROCK™ Line and will eagerly (probably) serve in many different modes which may or may not be limited to:
MUSICIAN: The HYDE unit is one of the most unique and well-known vocalists in Japan. With his voice that encompasses several ranges, talent scouts and band leaders alike will surely want to sign him up as a solo artist or as lead vocalist for a band. Pair him up with a TETSU unit to kick start L’Arc~en~Ciel and watch the money and fangirls roll in!
HOST: With this unit’s natural charm and charisma, he will surely be a hit with the ladies (and even with some gentlemen). Become this unit’s manager and have him entertain people a la Ouran Host Club and wait for the cash to come out in droves.
ARTIST: This unit is fully capable of sketching landscapes and people. Pose in front of the unit and have him draw your likeness! Or better yet, offer your friends the chance to model for this hot artist…for the right price of course!
ALL-AROUND EMPLOYEE: If things get bad, no need to fear! The HYDE unit has many job experiences under its belt, including working at a Mr. Donut’s and a billiard hall. Send out resumes and you’ll never have to worry about where to get food for tomorrow.
VOICE ACTOR: The HYDE unit can imitate a lot of voices including a purple seal, an old man and Doraemon. The unit uses this talent for MCs during concerts but you can think big! Let him try out for Doraemon’s voice and wait for the royalties to come in.
Your HYDE unit has four (4) different modes:
Dorky/Cute (Default Setting)
Sexy/Perverted/Horny
Shy
Serious
Please note that the unit will hit on any moving object when set in Sexy/Perverted mode. Remove all fangirls within a 500 meter radius as this will surely induce a mass riot and/or massive blood loss. On second thought, ANY mode will probably have the same results. Approach with caution.
Relations with other units:
KEN - when combined with this unit, the HYDE unit will most likely make an attempt at fan service, but would most likely fail. Nevertheless, interactions with this unit are fairly safe and friendly. Expect EPIC WIN when units are close by.
TETSU - Interactions with this unit are on the friendly side, so supervision is unnecessary. Expect massive amounts of fan service when leader-sama is nearby.
YUKIHIRO - Although the HYDE unit appears to be more or less uncaring towards this unit, there are in reality, really good friends. The HYDE unit will make sure that the YUKIHIRO unit eats enough food and will take it as a personal insult if it doesn’t. Expect FLUFFY AWW-ness when interacting with this unit.
MEGUMI OISHI - It is extremely hard to catch these two units interacting, given the HYDE unit’s views about privacy. The manufacturers suspect that interactions with this unit should be behind closed doors because the Sexy/Perverted/Horny mode will activate.
Other unit interactions:
GACKT - DO NOT WANT. Always supervise interactions with this unit.
SAKURA - DO WANT
K.A.Z. - DO WANT
ANIS - DO WANT
Cleaning:
The HYDE unit is an extremely private unit. The unit may opt to clean himself in private but would most likely allow you to wash his hair. When washing the unit, please be reminded of the following: HAND WASH ONLY, don’t machine wash; do not tumble unit dry; do not hang unit in the line to dry.
Energy:
The HYDE unit is not a picky eater, but would most likely not eat curry. Please be reminded that the unit shows preference for soba and ramen.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q. Is there anything I can do about his pink hair? I mean, I have nothing against pink, but you know - personal preferences and all that. Also, he keeps on singing about a ‘pink spider’. What’s up with that?
A. I’m terribly sorry but there has been a mix-up. The unit in your possession is not the HYDE unit but the HIDE unit. If you would like, you can ship it back to us and we will exchange it for the HYDE unit, free of charge. Unless, of course, you have grown fond of it, then you may choose to keep it.
Q. So I decided to take advantage of my HYDE unit’s artistic skills but I was kind of disappointed because he can’t paint in color. What gives?
A. Do not worry, your HYDE unit is not defective. Unfortunately though, the HYDE unit is color-blind. But don’t let it bother you or your unit! Do not limit your unit to landscapes and portraits. Ask your unit to design CD jackets, merchandise and T-shirt designs for his band or for other bands!
Troubleshooting:
Problem: Ever since you bought the HYDE unit, you had had to deal with several break-ins and stalkers.
Solution: We apologize for the inconvenience, but that is the price that one has to pay for having a unit in the J-ROCK™ Line under your roof. We suggest restarting your life somewhere, where no one knows that you have a HYDE unit in your possession.
With proper care and maintenance, your HYDE unit will lead a long and, hopefully, happy life. Please be reminded that damage from excessive glomping will not be covered by the warranty.
---
Yeah, so I missed you guys so so much. I'm back and I'm staying.
I hope this proves I still love L'Arc to bits. Even though I'm kinda joining other fandoms. The Gundam 00 fandom for one. It's the one anime I watched after Death Note which was a year ago. I used to be into Gundam SEED but realized that 00 >>>>>>> SEED. For reals.
School started last June 9 but I ended up missing it because I put myself under self-quarantine. I honestly thought I caught the A(H1N1) virus. I attended a conference and got buddy-buddy with this girl and she fell sick after the conference and so did I! But she tested negative so I'm safe. I think. Well, I'm not sick anymore and none of my family got sick so the whole scare is over.
I can't believe I'm a SOPHOMORE now. I've been attending college for five years and this is the first time that I've seen "2nd Year" in my registration form. Yay for me.
I've been lurking a lot (hur hur I SAW WHAT YOU GUYS DID AT THE ANON MEME). And lurking isn't fun. Not at all. I want to be in on your jokes. I miss you guys. <3
So that's that for a comeback and see you guys again tomorrow? the next day? I'm not sure but it's definitely not 'next month'.
Oh yeah, crossposted this at larcenciel because the improved comm is just so awesome!
---
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully automated HYDE unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Androgynous Vocalist, please pay close attention to the following details:
Basic Information:
Name: hyde/HYDE/Hyde
Date of Manufacture: 29 January 1969
Place of Manufacture: Wakayama, Japan
Height: Short
Weight: Unknown
Your HYDE unit will come with the following accessories:
MAIKU© (microphone)
One (1) set of ROCKSTAR™ clothes
One (1) GUITAR
One (1) Angel-Heart Ring
We previously provided our HYDE units with cigarettes because the unit will die on the streets if it didn’t have even a stick with him. Fortunately, the newly-developed K.A.Z. unit has influenced the HYDE unit to stop smoking. Also, please take note that there are other accessories which you may buy separately from our authorized sellers.
Programming:
The HYDE unit is one of the most versatile units in our J-ROCK™ Line and will eagerly (probably) serve in many different modes which may or may not be limited to:
MUSICIAN: The HYDE unit is one of the most unique and well-known vocalists in Japan. With his voice that encompasses several ranges, talent scouts and band leaders alike will surely want to sign him up as a solo artist or as lead vocalist for a band. Pair him up with a TETSU unit to kick start L’Arc~en~Ciel and watch the money and fangirls roll in!
HOST: With this unit’s natural charm and charisma, he will surely be a hit with the ladies (and even with some gentlemen). Become this unit’s manager and have him entertain people a la Ouran Host Club and wait for the cash to come out in droves.
ARTIST: This unit is fully capable of sketching landscapes and people. Pose in front of the unit and have him draw your likeness! Or better yet, offer your friends the chance to model for this hot artist…for the right price of course!
ALL-AROUND EMPLOYEE: If things get bad, no need to fear! The HYDE unit has many job experiences under its belt, including working at a Mr. Donut’s and a billiard hall. Send out resumes and you’ll never have to worry about where to get food for tomorrow.
VOICE ACTOR: The HYDE unit can imitate a lot of voices including a purple seal, an old man and Doraemon. The unit uses this talent for MCs during concerts but you can think big! Let him try out for Doraemon’s voice and wait for the royalties to come in.
Your HYDE unit has four (4) different modes:
Dorky/Cute (Default Setting)
Sexy/Perverted/Horny
Shy
Serious
Please note that the unit will hit on any moving object when set in Sexy/Perverted mode. Remove all fangirls within a 500 meter radius as this will surely induce a mass riot and/or massive blood loss. On second thought, ANY mode will probably have the same results. Approach with caution.
Relations with other units:
KEN - when combined with this unit, the HYDE unit will most likely make an attempt at fan service, but would most likely fail. Nevertheless, interactions with this unit are fairly safe and friendly. Expect EPIC WIN when units are close by.
TETSU - Interactions with this unit are on the friendly side, so supervision is unnecessary. Expect massive amounts of fan service when leader-sama is nearby.
YUKIHIRO - Although the HYDE unit appears to be more or less uncaring towards this unit, there are in reality, really good friends. The HYDE unit will make sure that the YUKIHIRO unit eats enough food and will take it as a personal insult if it doesn’t. Expect FLUFFY AWW-ness when interacting with this unit.
MEGUMI OISHI - It is extremely hard to catch these two units interacting, given the HYDE unit’s views about privacy. The manufacturers suspect that interactions with this unit should be behind closed doors because the Sexy/Perverted/Horny mode will activate.
Other unit interactions:
GACKT - DO NOT WANT. Always supervise interactions with this unit.
SAKURA - DO WANT
K.A.Z. - DO WANT
ANIS - DO WANT
Cleaning:
The HYDE unit is an extremely private unit. The unit may opt to clean himself in private but would most likely allow you to wash his hair. When washing the unit, please be reminded of the following: HAND WASH ONLY, don’t machine wash; do not tumble unit dry; do not hang unit in the line to dry.
Energy:
The HYDE unit is not a picky eater, but would most likely not eat curry. Please be reminded that the unit shows preference for soba and ramen.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q. Is there anything I can do about his pink hair? I mean, I have nothing against pink, but you know - personal preferences and all that. Also, he keeps on singing about a ‘pink spider’. What’s up with that?
A. I’m terribly sorry but there has been a mix-up. The unit in your possession is not the HYDE unit but the HIDE unit. If you would like, you can ship it back to us and we will exchange it for the HYDE unit, free of charge. Unless, of course, you have grown fond of it, then you may choose to keep it.
Q. So I decided to take advantage of my HYDE unit’s artistic skills but I was kind of disappointed because he can’t paint in color. What gives?
A. Do not worry, your HYDE unit is not defective. Unfortunately though, the HYDE unit is color-blind. But don’t let it bother you or your unit! Do not limit your unit to landscapes and portraits. Ask your unit to design CD jackets, merchandise and T-shirt designs for his band or for other bands!
Troubleshooting:
Problem: Ever since you bought the HYDE unit, you had had to deal with several break-ins and stalkers.
Solution: We apologize for the inconvenience, but that is the price that one has to pay for having a unit in the J-ROCK™ Line under your roof. We suggest restarting your life somewhere, where no one knows that you have a HYDE unit in your possession.
With proper care and maintenance, your HYDE unit will lead a long and, hopefully, happy life. Please be reminded that damage from excessive glomping will not be covered by the warranty.
---
Yeah, so I missed you guys so so much. I'm back and I'm staying.
I hope this proves I still love L'Arc to bits. Even though I'm kinda joining other fandoms. The Gundam 00 fandom for one. It's the one anime I watched after Death Note which was a year ago. I used to be into Gundam SEED but realized that 00 >>>>>>> SEED. For reals.
School started last June 9 but I ended up missing it because I put myself under self-quarantine. I honestly thought I caught the A(H1N1) virus. I attended a conference and got buddy-buddy with this girl and she fell sick after the conference and so did I! But she tested negative so I'm safe. I think. Well, I'm not sick anymore and none of my family got sick so the whole scare is over.
I can't believe I'm a SOPHOMORE now. I've been attending college for five years and this is the first time that I've seen "2nd Year" in my registration form. Yay for me.
I've been lurking a lot (hur hur I SAW WHAT YOU GUYS DID AT THE ANON MEME). And lurking isn't fun. Not at all. I want to be in on your jokes. I miss you guys. <3
So that's that for a comeback and see you guys again tomorrow? the next day? I'm not sure but it's definitely not 'next month'.
Oh yeah, crossposted this at larcenciel because the improved comm is just so awesome!