yanie no hitorigoto: the choice a family has to decide...
Kusanagi Tsuyoshi's recent drama, NINKYO HELPER is VERY GOOD! The story, the acting, the whole production really has high quality! No kidding! I hope this wins BEST DRAMA award for this season.
This drama makes me realized and understand old people's feelings and thoughts, and so I feel I have to appreciate and love my mother more, and if only my grandparents and father are still alive, it will definitely make me feel the same way about them too.
I had live with my grandmother for a few years during junior highschool, and I really regret now that I didn't do much for her that time T_T Everything was taken care by a nursing helper. To think of it now, my grandmother used to stare into space during the day and then she would call the nurse and asked her to prepare lunch for grandfather and the nurse had to remind her every time that grandfather has passed away 10 years ago =( I should've talk to her more that time.
I cried buckets watching Ninkyo Helper Ep8. An old man has went to vegetative state(comma) and his son and his family came to the hospital. The doctor left the choice to the family, if they want to keep the life support machine then they can bring them to the elder house. The old man's son said that he wants his father to stay alive longer, if he can stay alive longer at least for a day, he'd definitely choose that option, although he's in a comma. But then the son immediately say that he has to go back to work, the granddaughter also said she has to go. Another old man, who is a friend of the man in comma asked the family when can they come again to visit. He's really angry and said, "what's the use to keep him alive longer if you can't visit him again??! let me send him to heaven now so he can get his peace!".
My late father who was a doctor, an opthalmologist(eye doctor), and also a professor, was The Head of Medical Ethic Code Association of Indonesia. I remember he told me about these options when a man has gone to vegetative state, is it better to keep him alive with support machine or release his suffering by taking it off and let him passes away in peace? Of course, there are vegetative states that has high possibility that he can come back alive but there's also vegetative states that has no possibility of life anymore, and that it's only a matter of time before he finally cannot live anymore without support machine. It is the latter that has been a heated discussion in the Indonesia's Medical Ethic Code Association, my father said. And my father think the latter is better, because according to my father, one who is in vegetative state and has no hope to regain concious anymore will suffer if he has to keep being supported by machine.
Ironically my father had to go through the same state 2 days before he passed away. The internal bleeding in his brain was massive and was on the center of his brain, so he immediately went to vegetative state just a couple hours after he started feeling dizzy.
To think of it now, I was the last family member who talked to Dad, before he finally become unconcious. My mother, second brother and sister in law were talking to the doctor outside. And the last sentence I said to him... was a... lie... T_T My father was asking whether or not had we call my eldest brother, Arif. "Have you called him? Have you told him?". The truth is, on that moment when my father asked, we still couldn't get through his cellphone, because he had singing performance somewhere and seem like he turned off his cellphone. But I lied to my father and said, "Yes! Yes! Mas Arif is on the way coming here, Dad!". I was in a panic to see my father feel extreme head pains and couldn't breath, I didn't know what to say anymore. Is this a big sin? Lying to my father on his last moment? T_T
When finally the doctor said there's no hope for my father anymore and said he was still living only because the machine support him and he said if, we, the family would like to keep the support machine, that's okay, but the doctor suggested us not to postpone it longer... I broke down. I was the only one who shook my head when my eldest brother ask us whether it is okay or not to take off the machine. And my brother told me, "Fine, we won't tell the doctor to take it off, until you feel okay about it, so just think about it for awhile,". And then they left me alone.
That time, I kept thinking how can this be okay? Isn't it like we'll be the one who decide when will our father has to die? If we take it off, doesn't it mean that we'd kill him indirectly? Many thoughts came to my mind that time. And then I remember about what my father said before about this choice, he think to take off the life support machine is better.
From Islam's point of view, somehow I also thought that probably on that very moment, the angel of death has already pulled my father's soul halfway, and if that's true, my father's soul must be extremely suffering if we don't take the machine off immediately.
And so I nod to the 'take off the life support machine' option...
After I finished Ninkyo Helper Ep8, I cried for 1-2 minutes by myself, remembering all of these XD
Yabai na, kono dorama XD
Anyway, I really recommend Ninkyo Helper to everyone!!^v^ Aside from the elderly, the yakuza parts are very interesting too^^ And Kusanagi Tsuyoshi is SO NOT Kusanagi Tsuyoshi in this drama, he's like a totally different person in this drama^^