...-_-
So it's three in the morning.
And for some strange reason, I'm upset NOT over the fact that I barely got anything done today, but that I feel I'm not involved in Template.
Yep. It's the little fish-big pond thing again.
I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, as I could barely keep up with Paixao this week (and I still owe some people posts, sorry folks! I have science class tomorrow, I'll get them done then) and Template moves quite a bit faster than Paixao does. Still, I've got a total of one character there (because that's about all I can keep up with, what with its speed), and it feels like I just can't get her involved - it always just comes off to me as an outsider-looking-in feeling. Between classes and time zone differences, I'm always about two days behind and eight hours off, and I'll be amazed if I have time for RP at all in the next three weeks or so, what with all the traveling and such I intend to do. (Italy for five days starting this Wednesday, for example.) I want to be involved, and I can't expect people to involve me if I'm not making the effort, but...darn it, getting eaten by life precludes RP effort. I feel upset that I'm not involved, then I realize that's being selfish since I'm not making the effort, then I feel bad for being selfish AND for not making the effort, and then I find myself upset that I'm not more involved and the damn cycle starts all over again.
Understatement time: it sucks.
And it also doesn't help that I keep calling Template Econtra. I don't mean to, I just bloody do. This is either one hell of a Freudian slip, or I'm just damn tired.
I think the long and short of this post is, it's three in the morning, I'm exhausted, and I'm rambling about something I'm not quite sure I can fix given my schedule.
Fun stuff.
And for some strange reason, I'm upset NOT over the fact that I barely got anything done today, but that I feel I'm not involved in Template.
Yep. It's the little fish-big pond thing again.
I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, as I could barely keep up with Paixao this week (and I still owe some people posts, sorry folks! I have science class tomorrow, I'll get them done then) and Template moves quite a bit faster than Paixao does. Still, I've got a total of one character there (because that's about all I can keep up with, what with its speed), and it feels like I just can't get her involved - it always just comes off to me as an outsider-looking-in feeling. Between classes and time zone differences, I'm always about two days behind and eight hours off, and I'll be amazed if I have time for RP at all in the next three weeks or so, what with all the traveling and such I intend to do. (Italy for five days starting this Wednesday, for example.) I want to be involved, and I can't expect people to involve me if I'm not making the effort, but...darn it, getting eaten by life precludes RP effort. I feel upset that I'm not involved, then I realize that's being selfish since I'm not making the effort, then I feel bad for being selfish AND for not making the effort, and then I find myself upset that I'm not more involved and the damn cycle starts all over again.
Understatement time: it sucks.
And it also doesn't help that I keep calling Template Econtra. I don't mean to, I just bloody do. This is either one hell of a Freudian slip, or I'm just damn tired.
I think the long and short of this post is, it's three in the morning, I'm exhausted, and I'm rambling about something I'm not quite sure I can fix given my schedule.
Fun stuff.