Finally
So, I have quite a bit to talk about. Therefore, as a warning: HOLY-SHIT long post!!! (You would think as many times as I say I need to update more often, I would. But it never happens. xD;;;)
Let's back track to the start of spring break. Had a great time with my friends that weekend. We went to the park and had fun on the new playground they just put in a few months back. It was nice to do something that wasn't our usual movie/Rockband night. Though we did go back and watch The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror, which was awesome. We watched the short film extra titled, Fruitcake, which was totally amusing. Good times my friends, good times. I ended up getting sick though and losing my voice during the beginning of that week, which sucked, but all well. Tuesday night was awful and I don't think there's any possible way I can fix the situation no matter what I do or say, which really hurts. I had really hoped we could work things out - I hate conflict. I hope one day this will all be resolved though and maybe we can be friends. I'm staying optimistic.
Anyway, the best part of break started on Wednesday after getting down to Columbus. Kelli and I stopped for supper at KFC and got some super awesome rings in those little dispensers. Actually, I'm still wearing one of them right now. (Activate! XD) Anyway though, after getting a bit turned around on 270, we finally made it to Nick's. Met some more people and then Rhyan and a bunch more people came over to play Apples to Apples. And then the most embarrassing thing in the world happened right before we started playing. xD So, I guess Rhyan hadn't seen his friend Val in quite some time. The first thing she says to him is "So Rhyan, I hear you're getting a girlfriend."
....
I was sitting right next to him. Everything was really quiet at first. And everyone looked at us both and I had to go hide in my hoodie from complete embarrassment. I don't think I've ever been that embarrassed or turned that red in my entire life. I saw Rhyan hide in his shirt and then he had to leave the room for like fifteen minutes, poor baby. He was so completely humiliated. I was going to go talk to him, but I had no idea what to say. Oh my god, so embarrassing. >.< But I think it helped ease the awkwardness of the following day. Though I don't think either of us is ever going to live that down. xD;;; Haha. It was pretty funny and it's a good story to tell. Oh, and Parti Bicard is the creepiest thing in the world. xD
So, the next day was amazing. Rhyan came over and then told me he had something for me out in his car. I had to close my eyes and he gave me a vase of beautiful flowers. When we walked back to the door he finally asked me out and of course I said yes. He was so worried over nothing. Hehe, he did this really cute dance which was adorable. But oh my god... We have spoke everyday, all day since the con. It's felt like we've been together since I met him. It was really nice to finally make it official. There were so many times I just wanted to ask him out online and everything or even when he was visiting up here, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I did want it to be in person. Besides, I wasn't sure if he felt the same and after all the crap I've been through in the past, I was so insecure and had a hard time letting myself believe that someone I really liked could possibly, genuinely like me back. That he wouldn't get bored with me after a week.
Anyway, Thursday really was amazing. We got to hang out together and everything and go to the park and walk around campus. Then it was time for dinner. And once again, oh my god. No one has ever taken me out like that before. We went to a beautiful place called Kobe. It was one of the Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you which was really incredible because I've always wanted to go to one. I mean, we could have gone to a fast food place for all I cared as long as we were together, but I was really impressed and so incredibly grateful. No one has ever treated me like that. After a very delicious and entertaining dinner, we went to Easton and had ice cream and walked around. It was so nice! The weather was perfect and it was dark and the lighting was so pretty. Rhyan made it perfect though. To walk around together and have ice cream and hold hands and just talk was wonderful. It was the perfect end to the perfect date and now I'm dating the most perfect guy in the entire world. We went back to Nick's and everyone was just setting up for D&D, which I might add, is the most confusing game ever. xD Lol. But Rhyan and I cuddled up on the couch and watched his new anime movie with Sophida and Kelli. It was just overall the best day ever. <3
So Friday came around after that and Rhyan came over for a bit before going to work, which was sad. We ended up watching a bunch of old scary movies for the rest of the day and I took like a two hour nap because I just felt really worn out. I had the best wake-up call ever though. My boyfriend came and woke me up and it was really nice to see him first. After that, we went to MoMo's which was so much fun. We played Munchkin, which is also a very confusing game, but it was really fun. Basically, you have to be a douchebag to win. Haha. I don't remember who finally won...Kelli? I don't know. Someone did and Kelli said she is definitely buying that game now. But then Rhyan and I had our rematch in pool. And once again, I won by default and he didn't win his kiss. I made the poor boy suffer through another game before I finally let him kiss me, but honestly, I wanted that kiss just as badly as he did and I couldn't last any longer either. Lol. We left later and then stopped for breakfast at McDonalds. Back at Nick's we all just watched a bunch of random stuff and it wasn't much longer before everyone left and Rhyan stayed the night that night which was really, really nice, I might add.
We didn't get up until late Saturday and Kelli and Nick were being mean and spraying me and Rhyan with water every time we kissed because we wouldn't get up to get ready. ^^; I guess I understand though - we probably would have stayed there all day if they hadn't made us get up...not that I would have complained or anything... >.> Well, after we were ready, we tried to go to the zoo, but they closed early so we decided to go play putt-putt golf instead which was a lot of fun. Rhyan and I are a bit better at putt-putt compared to playing pool. Lols. We went to Build-a-bear afterward because he was insisting on getting me a stuffed animal. I was really happy though - once again, no one has ever done anything like that for me. It made me tear up a little, the jerk. :p Hehe, no, I'm just kidding. Rhyan's the biggest sweetheart in the world. But I got a bear and his name is Cassady and he keeps me company when my boyfriend is too far away. He also says "Sara, you're so special to me" which is so fucking adorable. So, anyways, after being completely touched by everything Rhyan did for me this weekend, we went back to Nick's, I fixed the button on his shirt and then we finally got a little alone time before I had to leave. Every time they came up to get us to go, we'd both be like "Noooo!!! Five more minutes!!!" I think we got about an extra half hour out of them, which was so totally worth it. I just couldn't stop kissing him, he's so damn perfect! <333
I was really sad when I had to leave though. I didn't want to at all, but I did promise to get Kelli home relatively on time, so we had to. *pout* It was such a great weekend though. So awesome.... but yeah, that was spring break. It was perfect. <333
The next week however was pure torture. I have never missed anyone so bad in my life. I really did not expect to feel this way so fast, but holy crap did I miss him. I was lucky that he decided to go to Animarathon for me the following Saturday. That week really did feel like torture. We did stay up on the phone for hours a few nights just talking which was really nice, well, sorta. He did have to get up every day at 6:30am to go to work...>> I felt really bad about that, but it was nice to talk. We just seem to have a huge problem getting off the phone. We say "go to sleep, you have five more minutes then I'm hanging up" and before we know it even happens, another hour passes and we're like WTH?! Haha. Damn you, Father Time! xD
On to Animarathon. That was good times once we realized we were actually going. Haha. It was nice to see my friendses again - I missed them! It was fun to squish ourselves into that tiny little dorm room. Much silliness Friday night. Kelli scared me about spiders and my daughter called me a fatass because I had a box of donuts. Hahaha. It was much fun though, hanging out. We went to bed around three a.m. and Kelli and Amanda, the smart peoples that they are, decided to help the ANO set up for the con. At six in the morning. And though I understand they were being helpful, nice friends, I still say they were being very very silly. Hehe. Kayla and I were smart and slept in till like nine or something. And apparently Kelli called me and I answered the phone in my sleep. Because I don't remember it ever happening and she says I only grunted/mumbled at her questions. I feel as though that wasn't the first time I've answered the phone in my sleep though, unless I'm just having a wicked case of deja vu. >.>
The con was much fun! Had to spray Kelli's hair again, which is always an adventure. Then went to Michelle's panel a bit late, but that was also fun times. She did a very good job and it was her first panel! Yay! Happy congrats to that. ^^ There was much Yugioh and H/W talk. So of course it was so awesome. =D Then it was dealer's room time, which was also fun. I really wanted that Millennium Puzzle necklace, dammit, but alas. I demonstrated self-control for once. I only bought a few buttons. And then Rhyan called and said he was finally there! I all but attacked him once I found him. I missed him so much! So after introducing him to my friends, we wandered around the dealer's room some more. I bought more buttons, a Kid one in fact! And bought Michelley a Maka button. Then there was more introducing and more con fun and a bit of hanging with my bro before FINALLY Rhyan and I got some time alone. <3 Three hours, actually. Which really surprised us once again. (Damn you father time!) It was...amazing, though. We haven't really had any time alone together at that point, so I really appreciated Michelle letting me borrow her dorm for a bit. And before anyone gets the wrong idea, NO, we didn't do anything bad, jeez. Haha. It was really nice though to just have some time to ourselves. Then more con stuff. Watched people running around playing Human vs Zombies, which I need to play at some point, because that is frickin' awesome. Then my boyfriend had to go home. It was sad to say goodbye to him and my bro again. *pout*
After that, we went to the concert which once again, frickin' awesome. Anime band FTW! Poor Cady lost her voice though, and she was upset since she couldn't sing, but it all turned out okay. Me, Kayla, and Kelli left early then to go to the Higurashi panel where we proceeded to totally lose a trivia game (even though we did have the BEST answers since we had no idea what the real ones were) and were then forced into a penalty game where we were decorated with ribbons. It was much fun because...."we're awesome". xD Randomly saw Adam though! That was cool. ^^ So then to Cady's fun Shounen-ai panel which was awesome. And then con was over after the rave. Went back to the room, was on the phone for a while with Rhyan, but once I hung up, I realized it had been two hours. >.< Seriously, time passes so fast and we never notice it. Hung out a bit, then went to bed. Didn't sleep well that night and I was sore as hell the next more, but Michelle's bed tried to eat me! xD Overall though, Animarathon, ftw. Oh, and we watched this:
Yeah...no words for that. Watch part 2.
So, this week has been hell for many reasons. I've had to wait all week to see my boyfriend again on Friday and we totally talked on the phone for nearly seven hours straight the other night. Awesome, yes, but not when he has to get up early again. But I've been so incredibly busy, it's insane. I think all my classes scheduled everything to happen this week. Exams, quizzes, papers...argh! So much to do! T-T Actually, I need to be studying right now. ....But I'm not. >> I'm just so burnt out from school, I can't take it anymore. Ugh. And I think I'm going to fail my damn stats class because my professor makes absolutely NO sense at all. EVER. -.- I'll probably have to withdraw so I don't have a failing grade on my transcripts.
Oh, but good news did come! I was accepted into OSU. That lifts a huge weight off my shoulders, because it at least assures me that I don't have to stay in Cleveland after this semester as long as I can pull together the money to pay for it. I really want to get an apartment, so I'm going to be working my ass off this summer, but even if I can't manage it, I'll be able to still live on campus. Which is so awesome. Thank god. I need to get out of this hell-hole that is Cleveland. So that makes me happy. I told my mom and she didn't really seem to care... I don't know. It's one of those things where I thought she'd be at least a little happy for me, but she seemed to careless. Sigh. I know this stuff shouldn't bother me anymore considering our history, but it still does. She is my mom after all and I want her to be proud of me for some crazy reason, but eh, whatever. She was just a buzz-kill, I guess.
*~*~*~*SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR SOUL EATER FINAL EPISODE*~*~*~*
Soul Eater is over, too. Wah. T-T I watched the final episode today and eh. The ending was okay. I wish I had more closure. I'm going to have to pick the manga back up when I'm not so busy. It reminded me a bit of Neon Genesis Evangelion's ending though. The Kishin reminded me a bit of Kaworu, minus all the madness. But both were very...observant, analytical, philosophical. And the random cuts to phrases like "You are afraid" was very NGE. It was okay though. I think episode 50 was better though, but that might be because Kid is my favorite character. And DAMN, you don't mess with him! He gets crazy...AND SYMETRICAL!!! Haha, oh snap! :p But yeah, there wasn't a lot of closure with the characters, which I anticipated, but I did like the idea and how the Demon God was defeated. Interesting idea, but I'm not gonna lie. Maka was kinda getting slightly on my nerves. I think my problem with is was that I wanted closure from all the characters, but part of me doesn't, because it did end sort of well. I want to know what happened after that, but I sort of don't at the same time. Weird, but I think I'd rather know anyway. Lols. But anyway...not sure what I'm going to do now though, because I've been following the new eps every week for the last...I don't know, twenty-something episodes. So it's kinda sad. Need to pick the manga up again though.
*~*~*~* SPOILERS END*~*~*~*
So, before I go, I really just need to get this out there. I have never been this happy in my life. Rhyan makes me so amazingly happy. He's perfect. I don't deserve someone like him, but no way am I giving him up. He's mine and the only way I could be happier is if I lived closer. I have made so many mistakes. I have had my heart completely shattered. I just...I never ever imagined I could get this lucky. I was beginning to think I was going to keep making mistakes, that I was never going to find someone that would put up with me. But I made the right decision for once in my life. We are so alike and we both want the same thing. I know that I've found what I've been looking for in him. We've both gone through so much and we've both been hurt and I think that just secures our relationship further, because neither of us wants to go through that or put the other through that ever again. We can heal each other. I don't remember ever being this happy in years. Things were so terrible last year, I was more depressed than I've ever been. I was a huge mess of self-loathing and depression and I feel like a completely different person now. I can breath again. And let me tell you, it's the most refreshing feeling in the world. It's felt like we've been together for much longer than the official date. We talk for hours and hours and hours and still have so much to say and never get bored. I know this sounds like we're moving fast, but I don't think so. You just have to understand and it's so difficult to explain, but I know I don't want to rush things too. I want to take my time. It's just... we've found comfort in each other and it's so nice to finally not have to worry about things going bad. I'm not walking on eggshells anymore. I know we're going to see this through. I'm in this for the long run as long as he wants me. It's just such an amazing feeling, to finally feel like things are falling in the right place. He's just so incredibly perfect and I am so grateful to Nick for giving us the push and to Rhyan for wanting me as much as I want him. This is undoubtedly long-term because neither of us can figure out what we would ever break up over, besides the obvious relationship-killers, but even then, neither of us would ever do something to ruin what we have. No one else can possibly measure up to this. The connection we have is...it's really just so incredible. Beyond words. Honestly, I think I can fall in love again. <3
Okay, I really need to get back to studying even though I have much more to talk about, but I think this is more than enough for one post.... >.< I've wasted enough time not doing my studying and homework, and I can't afford to waste anymore.
Two more days, babe... <3
Let's back track to the start of spring break. Had a great time with my friends that weekend. We went to the park and had fun on the new playground they just put in a few months back. It was nice to do something that wasn't our usual movie/Rockband night. Though we did go back and watch The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror, which was awesome. We watched the short film extra titled, Fruitcake, which was totally amusing. Good times my friends, good times. I ended up getting sick though and losing my voice during the beginning of that week, which sucked, but all well. Tuesday night was awful and I don't think there's any possible way I can fix the situation no matter what I do or say, which really hurts. I had really hoped we could work things out - I hate conflict. I hope one day this will all be resolved though and maybe we can be friends. I'm staying optimistic.
Anyway, the best part of break started on Wednesday after getting down to Columbus. Kelli and I stopped for supper at KFC and got some super awesome rings in those little dispensers. Actually, I'm still wearing one of them right now. (Activate! XD) Anyway though, after getting a bit turned around on 270, we finally made it to Nick's. Met some more people and then Rhyan and a bunch more people came over to play Apples to Apples. And then the most embarrassing thing in the world happened right before we started playing. xD So, I guess Rhyan hadn't seen his friend Val in quite some time. The first thing she says to him is "So Rhyan, I hear you're getting a girlfriend."
....
I was sitting right next to him. Everything was really quiet at first. And everyone looked at us both and I had to go hide in my hoodie from complete embarrassment. I don't think I've ever been that embarrassed or turned that red in my entire life. I saw Rhyan hide in his shirt and then he had to leave the room for like fifteen minutes, poor baby. He was so completely humiliated. I was going to go talk to him, but I had no idea what to say. Oh my god, so embarrassing. >.< But I think it helped ease the awkwardness of the following day. Though I don't think either of us is ever going to live that down. xD;;; Haha. It was pretty funny and it's a good story to tell. Oh, and Parti Bicard is the creepiest thing in the world. xD
So, the next day was amazing. Rhyan came over and then told me he had something for me out in his car. I had to close my eyes and he gave me a vase of beautiful flowers. When we walked back to the door he finally asked me out and of course I said yes. He was so worried over nothing. Hehe, he did this really cute dance which was adorable. But oh my god... We have spoke everyday, all day since the con. It's felt like we've been together since I met him. It was really nice to finally make it official. There were so many times I just wanted to ask him out online and everything or even when he was visiting up here, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I did want it to be in person. Besides, I wasn't sure if he felt the same and after all the crap I've been through in the past, I was so insecure and had a hard time letting myself believe that someone I really liked could possibly, genuinely like me back. That he wouldn't get bored with me after a week.
Anyway, Thursday really was amazing. We got to hang out together and everything and go to the park and walk around campus. Then it was time for dinner. And once again, oh my god. No one has ever taken me out like that before. We went to a beautiful place called Kobe. It was one of the Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you which was really incredible because I've always wanted to go to one. I mean, we could have gone to a fast food place for all I cared as long as we were together, but I was really impressed and so incredibly grateful. No one has ever treated me like that. After a very delicious and entertaining dinner, we went to Easton and had ice cream and walked around. It was so nice! The weather was perfect and it was dark and the lighting was so pretty. Rhyan made it perfect though. To walk around together and have ice cream and hold hands and just talk was wonderful. It was the perfect end to the perfect date and now I'm dating the most perfect guy in the entire world. We went back to Nick's and everyone was just setting up for D&D, which I might add, is the most confusing game ever. xD Lol. But Rhyan and I cuddled up on the couch and watched his new anime movie with Sophida and Kelli. It was just overall the best day ever. <3
So Friday came around after that and Rhyan came over for a bit before going to work, which was sad. We ended up watching a bunch of old scary movies for the rest of the day and I took like a two hour nap because I just felt really worn out. I had the best wake-up call ever though. My boyfriend came and woke me up and it was really nice to see him first. After that, we went to MoMo's which was so much fun. We played Munchkin, which is also a very confusing game, but it was really fun. Basically, you have to be a douchebag to win. Haha. I don't remember who finally won...Kelli? I don't know. Someone did and Kelli said she is definitely buying that game now. But then Rhyan and I had our rematch in pool. And once again, I won by default and he didn't win his kiss. I made the poor boy suffer through another game before I finally let him kiss me, but honestly, I wanted that kiss just as badly as he did and I couldn't last any longer either. Lol. We left later and then stopped for breakfast at McDonalds. Back at Nick's we all just watched a bunch of random stuff and it wasn't much longer before everyone left and Rhyan stayed the night that night which was really, really nice, I might add.
We didn't get up until late Saturday and Kelli and Nick were being mean and spraying me and Rhyan with water every time we kissed because we wouldn't get up to get ready. ^^; I guess I understand though - we probably would have stayed there all day if they hadn't made us get up...not that I would have complained or anything... >.> Well, after we were ready, we tried to go to the zoo, but they closed early so we decided to go play putt-putt golf instead which was a lot of fun. Rhyan and I are a bit better at putt-putt compared to playing pool. Lols. We went to Build-a-bear afterward because he was insisting on getting me a stuffed animal. I was really happy though - once again, no one has ever done anything like that for me. It made me tear up a little, the jerk. :p Hehe, no, I'm just kidding. Rhyan's the biggest sweetheart in the world. But I got a bear and his name is Cassady and he keeps me company when my boyfriend is too far away. He also says "Sara, you're so special to me" which is so fucking adorable. So, anyways, after being completely touched by everything Rhyan did for me this weekend, we went back to Nick's, I fixed the button on his shirt and then we finally got a little alone time before I had to leave. Every time they came up to get us to go, we'd both be like "Noooo!!! Five more minutes!!!" I think we got about an extra half hour out of them, which was so totally worth it. I just couldn't stop kissing him, he's so damn perfect! <333
I was really sad when I had to leave though. I didn't want to at all, but I did promise to get Kelli home relatively on time, so we had to. *pout* It was such a great weekend though. So awesome.... but yeah, that was spring break. It was perfect. <333
The next week however was pure torture. I have never missed anyone so bad in my life. I really did not expect to feel this way so fast, but holy crap did I miss him. I was lucky that he decided to go to Animarathon for me the following Saturday. That week really did feel like torture. We did stay up on the phone for hours a few nights just talking which was really nice, well, sorta. He did have to get up every day at 6:30am to go to work...>> I felt really bad about that, but it was nice to talk. We just seem to have a huge problem getting off the phone. We say "go to sleep, you have five more minutes then I'm hanging up" and before we know it even happens, another hour passes and we're like WTH?! Haha. Damn you, Father Time! xD
On to Animarathon. That was good times once we realized we were actually going. Haha. It was nice to see my friendses again - I missed them! It was fun to squish ourselves into that tiny little dorm room. Much silliness Friday night. Kelli scared me about spiders and my daughter called me a fatass because I had a box of donuts. Hahaha. It was much fun though, hanging out. We went to bed around three a.m. and Kelli and Amanda, the smart peoples that they are, decided to help the ANO set up for the con. At six in the morning. And though I understand they were being helpful, nice friends, I still say they were being very very silly. Hehe. Kayla and I were smart and slept in till like nine or something. And apparently Kelli called me and I answered the phone in my sleep. Because I don't remember it ever happening and she says I only grunted/mumbled at her questions. I feel as though that wasn't the first time I've answered the phone in my sleep though, unless I'm just having a wicked case of deja vu. >.>
The con was much fun! Had to spray Kelli's hair again, which is always an adventure. Then went to Michelle's panel a bit late, but that was also fun times. She did a very good job and it was her first panel! Yay! Happy congrats to that. ^^ There was much Yugioh and H/W talk. So of course it was so awesome. =D Then it was dealer's room time, which was also fun. I really wanted that Millennium Puzzle necklace, dammit, but alas. I demonstrated self-control for once. I only bought a few buttons. And then Rhyan called and said he was finally there! I all but attacked him once I found him. I missed him so much! So after introducing him to my friends, we wandered around the dealer's room some more. I bought more buttons, a Kid one in fact! And bought Michelley a Maka button. Then there was more introducing and more con fun and a bit of hanging with my bro before FINALLY Rhyan and I got some time alone. <3 Three hours, actually. Which really surprised us once again. (Damn you father time!) It was...amazing, though. We haven't really had any time alone together at that point, so I really appreciated Michelle letting me borrow her dorm for a bit. And before anyone gets the wrong idea, NO, we didn't do anything bad, jeez. Haha. It was really nice though to just have some time to ourselves. Then more con stuff. Watched people running around playing Human vs Zombies, which I need to play at some point, because that is frickin' awesome. Then my boyfriend had to go home. It was sad to say goodbye to him and my bro again. *pout*
After that, we went to the concert which once again, frickin' awesome. Anime band FTW! Poor Cady lost her voice though, and she was upset since she couldn't sing, but it all turned out okay. Me, Kayla, and Kelli left early then to go to the Higurashi panel where we proceeded to totally lose a trivia game (even though we did have the BEST answers since we had no idea what the real ones were) and were then forced into a penalty game where we were decorated with ribbons. It was much fun because...."we're awesome". xD Randomly saw Adam though! That was cool. ^^ So then to Cady's fun Shounen-ai panel which was awesome. And then con was over after the rave. Went back to the room, was on the phone for a while with Rhyan, but once I hung up, I realized it had been two hours. >.< Seriously, time passes so fast and we never notice it. Hung out a bit, then went to bed. Didn't sleep well that night and I was sore as hell the next more, but Michelle's bed tried to eat me! xD Overall though, Animarathon, ftw. Oh, and we watched this:
Click to viewYeah...no words for that. Watch part 2.
So, this week has been hell for many reasons. I've had to wait all week to see my boyfriend again on Friday and we totally talked on the phone for nearly seven hours straight the other night. Awesome, yes, but not when he has to get up early again. But I've been so incredibly busy, it's insane. I think all my classes scheduled everything to happen this week. Exams, quizzes, papers...argh! So much to do! T-T Actually, I need to be studying right now. ....But I'm not. >> I'm just so burnt out from school, I can't take it anymore. Ugh. And I think I'm going to fail my damn stats class because my professor makes absolutely NO sense at all. EVER. -.- I'll probably have to withdraw so I don't have a failing grade on my transcripts.
Oh, but good news did come! I was accepted into OSU. That lifts a huge weight off my shoulders, because it at least assures me that I don't have to stay in Cleveland after this semester as long as I can pull together the money to pay for it. I really want to get an apartment, so I'm going to be working my ass off this summer, but even if I can't manage it, I'll be able to still live on campus. Which is so awesome. Thank god. I need to get out of this hell-hole that is Cleveland. So that makes me happy. I told my mom and she didn't really seem to care... I don't know. It's one of those things where I thought she'd be at least a little happy for me, but she seemed to careless. Sigh. I know this stuff shouldn't bother me anymore considering our history, but it still does. She is my mom after all and I want her to be proud of me for some crazy reason, but eh, whatever. She was just a buzz-kill, I guess.
*~*~*~*SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR SOUL EATER FINAL EPISODE*~*~*~*
Soul Eater is over, too. Wah. T-T I watched the final episode today and eh. The ending was okay. I wish I had more closure. I'm going to have to pick the manga back up when I'm not so busy. It reminded me a bit of Neon Genesis Evangelion's ending though. The Kishin reminded me a bit of Kaworu, minus all the madness. But both were very...observant, analytical, philosophical. And the random cuts to phrases like "You are afraid" was very NGE. It was okay though. I think episode 50 was better though, but that might be because Kid is my favorite character. And DAMN, you don't mess with him! He gets crazy...AND SYMETRICAL!!! Haha, oh snap! :p But yeah, there wasn't a lot of closure with the characters, which I anticipated, but I did like the idea and how the Demon God was defeated. Interesting idea, but I'm not gonna lie. Maka was kinda getting slightly on my nerves. I think my problem with is was that I wanted closure from all the characters, but part of me doesn't, because it did end sort of well. I want to know what happened after that, but I sort of don't at the same time. Weird, but I think I'd rather know anyway. Lols. But anyway...not sure what I'm going to do now though, because I've been following the new eps every week for the last...I don't know, twenty-something episodes. So it's kinda sad. Need to pick the manga up again though.
*~*~*~* SPOILERS END*~*~*~*
So, before I go, I really just need to get this out there. I have never been this happy in my life. Rhyan makes me so amazingly happy. He's perfect. I don't deserve someone like him, but no way am I giving him up. He's mine and the only way I could be happier is if I lived closer. I have made so many mistakes. I have had my heart completely shattered. I just...I never ever imagined I could get this lucky. I was beginning to think I was going to keep making mistakes, that I was never going to find someone that would put up with me. But I made the right decision for once in my life. We are so alike and we both want the same thing. I know that I've found what I've been looking for in him. We've both gone through so much and we've both been hurt and I think that just secures our relationship further, because neither of us wants to go through that or put the other through that ever again. We can heal each other. I don't remember ever being this happy in years. Things were so terrible last year, I was more depressed than I've ever been. I was a huge mess of self-loathing and depression and I feel like a completely different person now. I can breath again. And let me tell you, it's the most refreshing feeling in the world. It's felt like we've been together for much longer than the official date. We talk for hours and hours and hours and still have so much to say and never get bored. I know this sounds like we're moving fast, but I don't think so. You just have to understand and it's so difficult to explain, but I know I don't want to rush things too. I want to take my time. It's just... we've found comfort in each other and it's so nice to finally not have to worry about things going bad. I'm not walking on eggshells anymore. I know we're going to see this through. I'm in this for the long run as long as he wants me. It's just such an amazing feeling, to finally feel like things are falling in the right place. He's just so incredibly perfect and I am so grateful to Nick for giving us the push and to Rhyan for wanting me as much as I want him. This is undoubtedly long-term because neither of us can figure out what we would ever break up over, besides the obvious relationship-killers, but even then, neither of us would ever do something to ruin what we have. No one else can possibly measure up to this. The connection we have is...it's really just so incredible. Beyond words. Honestly, I think I can fall in love again. <3
Okay, I really need to get back to studying even though I have much more to talk about, but I think this is more than enough for one post.... >.< I've wasted enough time not doing my studying and homework, and I can't afford to waste anymore.
Two more days, babe... <3