Stupid parents....(angst alert)
I'm wondering how much longer until I decide to pull a Kay!Erik and just leave my house. >_<;;; I'm beginning to think people here would be better off without me. Since when does clogging a drain have to do with growing up? o_O;; Seriously. My mom gets mad at me and tells me to grow up when I dump a pot of bad poridge into the sink. It's not as if I didn't use the trap so all the big stuff doesn't get through, so WTF? And the other day my grandma gives me Hell because I raised my voice because she couldn't hear me say 'It's not cold outside', when she didn't hear me the first time. And my dad gives me Hell because I do not want to eat at a restaurant. DX And he tells me all this stuff about how he's going to die and then he won't be around anymore and such. What. The. Fuck.
I'm beginning to wonder if I can survive this house until my baby sister turns 18. That's another decade of waiting and taking the verbal abuse. I'm tempted to work full time just so I can support myself and just LEAVE. Seriously. Ever other second in this house if a bloody GUILT TRIP.
Decidedly, I do acknowledge being rather childish and downright obnoxious. The childish part will always be a part of me whether people like it or not. The obnoxious part only comes out when instigated. And whatever behaviour comes out is usually well-instigated. Believe me. If it takes me five years just to PUNCH someone in the arm out of frustration, it'll take just as much time for me to suddenly start acting like an obnoxious jerk. Mainly because I do NOT enjoy acting like an obnoxious jerk. I want to be friends with everybody. Except, maybe, Hitler. But that's a whole other can of beans and I'd like to respectfully ask people not to start debates on THAT topic on my LJ. >_>;; I have enough self-wangst as it is without someone else's baggage added to it.
Although this might be selfish to think, but...I think my parents are LUCKY to have me. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, go around sleeping with people or any of the things most parents are currently worried about their kids doing. And, yet, they STILL think things like that. I'm almost bloody 22 now. I can do whatever the hell I want, save for drugs and theft and murder, because, well...I've ben legal for quite a while. What do I do? Play games and talk to good friends on the net and fangirl with friends in real life over anime. I like single sports like fencing and archery and team sports like soccer, even though I prefer playing as a goalie. I have a job now, so I am not mooching off of them anymore (even though I never asked for their money and my grandma was the one who always made sure I was fed). I TRY to help around when I am not tired (doesn't help that they just KEEP adding to the mess every day so I just feel bloody lethargic every time I see the mess) and do my best for my baby sister (of whom they used to guilt trip me into staying with them instead of just letting me move out, because I feel ridiculous for living with them still, when all of my friends have moved out already or are planning on moving out).
In Asian cultures, family is everything. And for a girl that is especially true.
News flash. I love my family, but I don't want it to engulf ALL of my life, thank you very much. And everyone at home wodners why I am so unhappy. I bring up ONE problem and I get no sympathy. All of my sympathy usually goes to whoever caused me grief. THEY have a problem and I'm supposed to automatically sympathize with them, even though I happen to agree with the person who gives them grief.
I am not very happy right now, as you've guessed. I'm sure this'll just blow over (and then bubble up and happen AGAIN). :( But it makes me feel better to have it written down. Sorry for spamming you folks, when I hardly ever update. I just feel awful and I want my mom.
Oh, wait. I can't. Because, as far as I can see, the woman says 'she won't have anything to do with me', as quoted from my grandmother.
Why is the world so awful today?
Sometiems I feel like I'm just one big mistake.
I'm beginning to wonder if I can survive this house until my baby sister turns 18. That's another decade of waiting and taking the verbal abuse. I'm tempted to work full time just so I can support myself and just LEAVE. Seriously. Ever other second in this house if a bloody GUILT TRIP.
Decidedly, I do acknowledge being rather childish and downright obnoxious. The childish part will always be a part of me whether people like it or not. The obnoxious part only comes out when instigated. And whatever behaviour comes out is usually well-instigated. Believe me. If it takes me five years just to PUNCH someone in the arm out of frustration, it'll take just as much time for me to suddenly start acting like an obnoxious jerk. Mainly because I do NOT enjoy acting like an obnoxious jerk. I want to be friends with everybody. Except, maybe, Hitler. But that's a whole other can of beans and I'd like to respectfully ask people not to start debates on THAT topic on my LJ. >_>;; I have enough self-wangst as it is without someone else's baggage added to it.
Although this might be selfish to think, but...I think my parents are LUCKY to have me. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, go around sleeping with people or any of the things most parents are currently worried about their kids doing. And, yet, they STILL think things like that. I'm almost bloody 22 now. I can do whatever the hell I want, save for drugs and theft and murder, because, well...I've ben legal for quite a while. What do I do? Play games and talk to good friends on the net and fangirl with friends in real life over anime. I like single sports like fencing and archery and team sports like soccer, even though I prefer playing as a goalie. I have a job now, so I am not mooching off of them anymore (even though I never asked for their money and my grandma was the one who always made sure I was fed). I TRY to help around when I am not tired (doesn't help that they just KEEP adding to the mess every day so I just feel bloody lethargic every time I see the mess) and do my best for my baby sister (of whom they used to guilt trip me into staying with them instead of just letting me move out, because I feel ridiculous for living with them still, when all of my friends have moved out already or are planning on moving out).
In Asian cultures, family is everything. And for a girl that is especially true.
News flash. I love my family, but I don't want it to engulf ALL of my life, thank you very much. And everyone at home wodners why I am so unhappy. I bring up ONE problem and I get no sympathy. All of my sympathy usually goes to whoever caused me grief. THEY have a problem and I'm supposed to automatically sympathize with them, even though I happen to agree with the person who gives them grief.
I am not very happy right now, as you've guessed. I'm sure this'll just blow over (and then bubble up and happen AGAIN). :( But it makes me feel better to have it written down. Sorry for spamming you folks, when I hardly ever update. I just feel awful and I want my mom.
Oh, wait. I can't. Because, as far as I can see, the woman says 'she won't have anything to do with me', as quoted from my grandmother.
Why is the world so awful today?
Sometiems I feel like I'm just one big mistake.